Jonabee Fanfic
by JonaBee
Summary: Osaka: Y'know clouds? They just… float up there, but then Sakaki walked under one and it rained…. I never knew clouds could do that before…. Sakaki doesn't seem to mind, though.
1. Chapter 1: Something About Sakaki

JonaBee Fanfic

By: Jonakhensu and Weebee.

Hello, and welcome to Biogra... I mean JonaBee Fanfic. You remember me from such films... I mean, you may remember this fic from Jonakhensu's account. We finally decided to bite the bullet and move it to the common account. Why? Because I'm the god damned batma... wait, that's not right either, because we were bored, mostly. Now, if you'll excuse me before I start quoting Star Wars, that'd be great.

Please, if you haven't read it before, enjoy the story, and if you have read it before, there's no new content yet, but still, we hope you understad, and enjoy the story also.

Disclaimer: We no own. We no want arrested. We no want dead. We no want talk like Shampoo. We not get what we want.

And now, on with the show... and may the force be with you!

Chapter 1: There's Something About Sakaki.

The woman stood before the door to hell. It didn't look all that intimidating, simply a rice-paper and wood sliding door, a duck with a name emblazoned on it hanging from a nail in one of the cross-pieces, but the woman knew better. She ventured into the room every few days, when its resident had stayed up too late the night before doing one thing or the other, and it was her job to wake the sleeper.

Taking a slow, deep breath, the woman retrieved a small cloth from a well worn hook next to the infernal gate, slowly moving it up and tying it around her head. For a moment, one would assume it was a Hachimaki, but it was tied slightly lower, obscuring bright, slightly nervous blue eyes from view, a truly effective blindfold.

Reaching forward, the woman found the edge of the door through muscle memory, sliding it quietly to the side and walking into the room. As her slippered feet padded across to her goal, she felt something impact against her calf as it fell forward. She froze for a moment, but then smirked in satisfaction as she realized that she'd inadvertently booted one of the damned hell beasts half way across the room.

"They're only toys," she muttered to herself and then continued, stopping when her excellent spatial sense told her that she'd reached the edge of the bed. Reaching out, she briefly touched soft, yielding flesh before she moved upward to a shoulder and grasped. "Sakaki-chan, it's time to wake up!" she called, as jovially as she could, shaking the form of the teenaged girl who lay sprawled across the covers, another of the damned demons undoubtedly clutched in her arms.

"Mhmm?" The girl grumbled, trying to roll, but the woman had an iron grip on her shoulder, and she quickly stopped with another annoyed grunt.

"Your first day of high school starts today. Don't make me have to get you up the other way," the woman said, threateningly.

"I'm awake," the sprawled figure on the bed said softly, and the elder nodded, turning and walking out of the room.

HR.

About half an hour later, Sakaki came down the stairs in the front hallway, carefully drying the last of the water from her hair before tossing the towel into a laundry basket in the front linen closet. In the kitchen across the hall, her mother turned her head towards her and smiled. "Good morning, Sakaki-chan!"

"Good morning, Mother," Sakaki returned, stepping into the kitchen and observing the other with a steady look. "You do know you're still wearing the blindfold, right?"

"Oh, uh…" The older woman said, and there was the faintest hint of a blush on her cheeks as she hurriedly removed the garment, putting it in her pocket, and reaching up to tug subconsciously on the long plait she usually kept her hair in. "I forgot, sorry. Your bento is on the table over there, can you put it in the school bag yourself?"

Sakaki nodded, and headed over to pick up her Neko-Koneko emblazoned lunch box. She knew that cats bothered her mother, and it sort of made her feel bad about her own obsession with the things, but they were so cute… She shook her head, incidentally dispelling the blush that came from thoughts of cute things, and stuffed the bento into the larger briefcase.

Setting it back on the counter to pick up later, she shuffled over to the table, where her mother had already laid out two settings for a traditional Japanese breakfast.

"So, big day today, huh?" the older woman asked, as she sat across from her daughter. Sakaki merely nodded. "Hey, just be glad you aren't going to my old high school. Now there were some real nuts there…"

"Like the pineapple guy?" Sakaki asked, smiling slightly. She was sure that her mother had made some of those stories up to tease her as a kid, but they'd always been fun to listen to, especially as the older woman tried to patch up errors in the plots.

"Yeah, the pineapple guy," her mother confirmed. "I made sure that none of your teachers ever taught me when I enrolled you, though."

"Thanks," Sakaki nodded, and then began eating. At home she often ate quickly, especially when she was a little late, as she was now, so the bowl was empty in several seconds, rather than the minutes she preferred. Standing, she picked up her briefcase and started for the door.

"Good luck at school!" her mother said, waving to her as she exited. Calling after her, she added, "And remember, if someone tries to force you to cut your hair, it's alright to punch him out!"

She nodded, and waved back.

As her daughter exited the house, the woman sighed, brushing one hand through her long, red hair. "She's a good kid," she muttered, then frowned. "But why does she have to like those damned c… c…. cats so much?" Ranma Kuonji griped, with a shudder.

HR

Perry, dodge, sweep, turn, jump, sweep, land, roll, perry, sweep, sweep, dodge, flip. Ranma smiled in satisfaction as she landed on her feet, her weapon falling neatly into her hands. Flourishing it like a certain samurai wanna-be she'd once known, she smiled around the living room of her mid-sized home, the floors and tables sparkling almost as much as they would if Kasumi Tendo herself had cleaned them.

Fifteen years ago, if you had told her that she would be using her formidable martial arts skills by wielding a broom, she would have laughed in your face, or directed you towards Shinosuke. Now, though, she very rarely had the chance to fight real opponents who weren't pure novices, and the cleaning of the house using martial arts moves was about as close as she could get.

Sighing, the red haired woman put aside her weapon, an old and kind of dinged up looking push broom, in the main hall closet and looked out the small window in the front door. Since it was the first day of school, all of her own classes at the Dojo were canceled. "Maybe I can go see the Ol' Ghoul about something to do?" she pondered, distracted.

Taking her gaze from the sunny street, she wandered towards the kitchen to get something to eat before doing anything else. Just as she was about to reach for the refrigerator door, the phone rang. "Damn it," she muttered, scooping up the device, which was bolted to the wall next to the kitchen door. "Kuonji Residence."

"Hey, Ranma, is that you?" It was Ryoga's voice, and he sounded kind of depressed. This was quite unusual for him now-a-days, since he'd sounded like he was on happy pills ever since he'd married Akari.

"Yeah, it's me, what's wrong?" the redhead asked, worriedly. "Someone kidnap Akari?"

"Wha… Of course not!" Ryoga thundered. "What would make you think… oh, right, it's you. No, that's not what happened. Listen, is Sakaki there?"

"No, she's at school… what's going on?" Ranma was now much more worried.

Ryoga sighed quietly, seeming to collect his thoughts. He could hear that Ranma had been getting steadily more worried since the conversation began, and at the moment he didn't need an overprotective mother. "She's not in danger, or anything, but I just found out something I figure you should know."

"Yeah?" Ranma asked, now much more impatient than worried.

"A couple days ago, Ino turned into a pig," Ryoga said, deadpan.

"She… what?"

"She turned into a pig. I called Cologne, and she told me that it's supposed to be very rare, but apparently curses are able to pass down to children," the Lost Boy explained, sounding as though someone had shot his daughter, rather than cursed her.

"Damn, I… I'm real sorry to hear that," the redheaded martial artist said, unsure of what to say. "I'm guessing she isn't too happy, especially with what the other girls in school called her."

"Yeah, she's been chucking things at me every time she sees me for the past day and a half," Ryoga explained. "But there's a reason I called you, she turned into a little black pig, a male one. Apparently, when the curse is passed down, it's the exact form. I thought I should warn you, just in case…"

Ranma went pale. "Y… yeah, thanks," she stammered quickly. "I guess that means I'm gunna have to talk to Sakaki."

"Yeah," Ryoga said, and then there was a loud thud. "At least she probably won't keep throwing valuable sumo pig trophies at you."

Ranma winced. "You do remember what I have to tell her, right?" she drawled, sarcastically.

"Oh yeah… good luck on that!" the lost boy said hurriedly and then hung up.

"Jerk," Ranma muttered to the uncaring dial tone, and hung up her own phone.

HR.

"I hate you!" Ryoga sighed. The girl had a reason to be so mad. After all, on top of her sense of direction, that was yet another curse he'd given her, but it was getting pretty hard to take.

"I wish she would stop that." He muttered, sourly.

Next to him, his loving wife sighed. "She just needs time," she comforted. "I'm sure she'll get over it eventually." At Ryoga's dubious look, she smiled slightly. "You wanted to kill Saotome-san for so long, and now you two are the best of friends, remember?"

"Yeah, but I don't want my daughter to try to kill me," the Lost Boy grumbled, and then he perked up. "Maybe if I remove myself for a while, and you talk to her…"

Akari frowned at him. "Where are you going this time?"

"Well, I could go over to Ranma's, maybe… I haven't seen him in over a year, and a spar could be nice," Ryoga pondered.

Akari continued frowning for a few seconds more, but then relented as she heard Ino stomping around upstairs and the skittering of her guide-pig's attempts to keep up. "You will get her to drive you home, right?"

"Yes, dear." Ryoga said, nodding.

"All right, then enjoy your training trip. I'll try and reason with Ino." Akari said, and kissed Ryoga on the cheek.

"You're the most wonderful woman in the world." Ryoga said, with a big goofy grin. Akari just blushed for a moment before walking off to find her husband's pack and umbrella.

HR

Ranma Kuonji pulled her small sub-compact to a stop in front of the house, climbing out to see that the mail had already been carried in, which was a pretty good indication that Sakaki had gotten home before her. She'd gone out to hit things... very hard... for several hours over at the Tendo place, but now she had to deal with the fact that she would have to tell her daughter a secret that had been kept quite well for years. Now her daughter, the most important thing in her life, was going to find out something that could, no WOULD, completely shatter her world view.

Walking to the door and into the main hall, she flinched at the massive pile of fur covered abominations that now faced her. "Great, she got more," she muttered, irritably. It was the perfect end to a perfect day, really. "Sakaki-chan, I'm home!" She called, her voice echoing through the mostly empty hallway.

"Welcome home." Sakaki returned, from the kitchen where she was watching water boil in a large pot on the stove.

"So, what are we having?" Ranma asked, walking in and peering down into the bubbling, steamy mass.

"Ramen," Sakaki returned. "Elder Cologne's insisting that I have to learn to cook if I want to work at the Cafe on weekends."

Ranma nodded, then stared off into space for several minutes, tapping her foot against the wall. She opened her mouth several times, and then closed it with a click, as if searching for the right words to say. "Um, Sakaki, we, erm, we have to talk about something..." she started reluctantly.

Sakaki, of course, was no help in getting the conversation going, as she alternated looking between her nervously fidgeting mother and the pot full of noodles. Honestly, at times like this Ranma wondered who was raising whom.

"After you're done, come to the living room," she finally decided, sounding more confident. Turning, she headed upstairs to dig out a few very well hidden, and rather old photo albums. These had only been opened a few times since Sakaki was young, when Ranma needed to remember what once she was. It was also one of the few things that had allowed Ranma and her husband to stay together as long as they had.

Sakakki looked after the disappearing form of her mother for a few moments, then blinked a few times and resumed cooking. Once the noodles were ready, she carefully poured out the servings into two bowls, which she carried into the living room. Regardless of what her mother wanted, she would want to eat before the ramen cooled.

By the time she'd entered, her mother was already sitting at the table, several large books or albums stacked beside her. Looking at them curiously, Sakaki set the two bowls down, along with their chopsticks. They would still be there when the food was gone, so there was no use worrying about them until then.

Ranma picked up her own chopsticks and scooped up a large amount of noodles, slurping at them loudly. "Hey, these are pretty good, Sakaki-chan," she complimented.

"Thank you," the girl returned, and the two sat in silence for several minutes, the only sounds being those of the chopsticks clicking against the bowls and the slurping of enjoyment. After they were done, however, Ranma placed her chopsticks down and stared at Sakaki for a moment.

"I... have some homework to do." The girl said, motioning to stand.

"No, Sakaki, stay here," Ranma ordered, and then opened her mouth to talk. "There's something... that your father and I probably should have told you earlier..." she started faltering uncertainly towards the end.

"Um, Mom, we had this talk in class last year..." Sakaki said, her face turning a little red, though this time it was definitely not due to the presence of something cute. 'Oh no, she even had pictures,' she thought, horrified. She had heard about these talks in the locker room at school; rumor was that, after hearing one, the recipient would be scarred for life.

"Huh?" Ranma asked, and then something seemed to dawn upon her. "Ack! That's not what I meant!" she backpedaled hurriedly. "NO, it's nothing like that, it's just... Sakaki, I'm not your mother."

Sakaki jerked back in shock. "I'm adopted?" she exclaimed.

Ranma stopped for a moment, then lowered her head onto the table, making a loud \thud/ before returning to a sitting position. "Not what I meant," she sighed. "Look, this story is really hard to tell, but... you know about the curses some of my friends and family have, right?"

Sakaki just nodded.

"Well, I've got one. Erm, sort of technically I HAD one, since the curse magic was totally destroyed a little while before you were born, but the person who destroyed the curse made sure I was in my alternate form when he did it," the older woman explained.

Sakaki sat and thought about what had just been explained for a few moments, her mouth working up and down as though she were a cow, chewing on its cud. 'I'm not adopted, and Mom's not Mom, and she had a curse that was... stuck? And...' She blinked, once, and Ranma would swear later that it was audible. "You're joking, right? You kidnapped me from that guy who locked you?"

Ranma facefaulted, and then, for the briefest moment, saw an image of Sakaki, kerchief tied under her nose, charging across the rooftops with a bag full of men's undergarments. "Never, EVER suggest that old bastard had children," she snarled, vehemently. "No, Sakaki, I didn't kidnap you, I'm your father."

"What about Dad?" Sakaki asked.

"Ukyo is a woman, she was my fiancee. We got married about a year and a half before I was locked, and she took off on the road about three years after." Ranma looked off into the distance for a moment, her eyes clouded. "Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if it hadn't happened, but..." She shook her head. "Anyways, Ukyo dressed like a guy a lot, in fact she spent ten years doing it before you were born." She shrugged, "Guess she just got too used to it to stop."

Sakaki reached across the table, picking up one of the photo albums that was resting by her mother's elbow, and flipped it open silently. It was clear why the images in the albums weren't in the common family ones downstairs, the ones that showed her first steps and their various trips to the beach, as the first page that she flipped to showed an image of the person she knew as her father, in a quite clearly female wedding Kimono, sitting next to a black haired man with his hair tied back in a pigtail. The rest of the pages were filled with similar images, all containing the man with the black pigtail.

"So, why did you tell me this now?" she finally asked, putting down the album she had been leafing through, and hoping that there would be no more large shocks tonight.

"I got a call from Ryoga this morning, and apparently, his daughter somehow inherited his curse. I was afraid that the same thing could happen to you, and that you wouldn't be prepared for it." Ranma said, somewhat unsettled at how casually her daughter was taking this so far.

"So... I'm going to turn into a girl," Sakaki deadpanned, and Ranma noted a shadow of her own smirk on the girl's lips.

"Not exactly; Ryoga said that it's an exact copy of the person's original cursed form, so..." Ranma trailed off, and then offered a single Polaroid pulled from the family's main albums, this one showing her, as she'd looked in her youth, in her "Boy" swimsuit, mugging for the camera next to Akane.

The look that crossed Sakaki's face when she took the photo was... indescribable, and scary all at once. "I... think I'm going to go and do that homework now," she said, standing and holding the photo close to her chest.

"...All right," Ranma said, deciding that, if her daughter wanted to deal with it this way, rather than tossing things at her own head, it was probably better all around. Several minutes later, however, when she heard a squeal of "How CUUUTE!" From Sakaki's bedroom, she started to wonder if that was such a good idea.

HR.

Sakaki sat listening to the lecture while looking out the window, perfecting her inadvertent Rei Ayanami impression. At the moment, it was almost at the level where GAINAX would start pursuing legal action. That was, of course, except for the water filled bucket that was resting at her side, and in which her arm was sunk up to the elbow. Her hand was already quite pruned, but she refused to miss her first opportunity to have a cuter form by letting the hand dry. She would switch hands, but Sakaki had never gotten the hang of writing with her left hand, even after all of the lessons she had endured.

They were in the middle of an English lesson, that seemed to have something to do with photon torpedoes and linguine, though Sakaki might just have been hearing it wrong. No, that was just Tomo giving an answer. Sakaki had decided, early the first day, that Tomo was, at best, an idiot, and at worst a Kuno. She wasn't really sure what "Kunos" were, but her mother spoke of their stupidity and narrow mindedness with such venom that they had to be pretty bad. "I'm sorry, Sensei, I forgot my homework and was just saying gibberish. I move that my punishment be standing in the halls." Without giving the teacher time to respond, she rushed over to the door and grabbed the water buckets, happily saying to herself, "I've always wanted to do this." That was her intention, at least. It would have helped if there was actually more than one bucket there. "Hey, where's the other bucket," Tomo whined.

All eyes in the class turned to Sakaki for several moments, before she reluctantly took her hand from the water. "Can I have it back when you're done?" she asked, simply.

"Um, Sure thing!" Tomo said brightly, charging across the room, and incidentally almost running down Chiyo in the process, to retrieve the errant vessel. Once the buckets were in hand, she stepped out of the room and slammed the door closed with her foot.

It should be noted that Yukari-sensei had been shouting, "That's not really necessary, you know!"

Within five minutes of Tomo's egress, the monologue began. "Heh, I'm so lucky to have forgotten my homework today. Wh-whoa, these are kind of heavy. Agh! My arms are burning! Oh no! I dropped the buckets! There's water everywhere; help me, Sensei!"

"Oh, shut up!" Yukari shouted. "One more outburst like this and you're going to the principal's office!"

In the classroom, Sakaki looked up at Tomo's exclamation and let out a soft sigh. "My water..."

HR.

"So, what do you think, maybe she slit her wrist or something," Tomo speculated, hanging off of the back of Yomi's chair.

"Hmm?" The taller girl asked, irritably glaring at her friend.

"I mean Sakaki, c'mon, you have to have noticed that she's had her hand stuck in a bucket for over a week!" the darker haired girl exclaimed.

"It's her business, maybe she's trying a new diet or something?" Yomi offered.

"You and your diets! No, that can't be it, or you'd have done it already! It's got to be something else. Maybe... Maybe..." Tomo lapsed into several moments of deep thought, before she burst out, "Maybe she's turned into a plant monster! That's it, she's a plant monster and she's gotta keep her hand in there or she'll die from lack of nutrients, or something."

"No way, Sakaki-san's way too cool for that!" a voice from behind the two yelled, but when Tomo turned to see who it was, everyone was sitting and eating lunch normally.

"Well, that's not important, it's weird, that's all." The hyper girl continued.

"And like I said, none of our business," Yomi returned, and picked up a book she'd been reading before she was interrupted.

"Maybe," Tomo decided, "but I'm going to find out anyway!"

"This is a bad idea!" Yomi warned, but was, as usual, ignored.

Stalking like a large, predatory cat, Tomo made her way over to Sakaki, using anything available for cover. "You do know I can see you, right?" the larger girl asked, as Tomo crouched behind the desk in front of her.

"Gyah!" Tomo shouted as she jumped forward, knocking over a number of desks and sending water flying from the bucket that Sakaki had left sitting by her chair, and soaking everyone nearby.

The room went dead silent for a moment, half of the people, those for whom any view of Sakaki was blocked by Tomo sprawled out on top of her, were silently praying for the smaller girl's life. The other half, however, had their mouths gaping for a far different reason.

Chiyo, being the youngest, was the first to react to the strange situation, walking over and kneeling next to the two. Looking down into Sakaki's blue eyes, she poked her in the forehead. "Hmm..." she muttered, reaching back and picking up some of the red hair that was splayed out across the floor. "Wow, that was neat!" she finally exclaimed, "how did you do it?"

"How did I..." Sakaki said, while Tomo lay, immobile, atop her. Hearing a slightly higher than usual voice coming from her throat, her eyes widened. "It... finally happened?" she asked, and then moved in a blur. Tomo seemed to hang in mid-air for a second before falling to the ground with a thud, as Sakaki started skipping around the room, giggling like an idiot.

"Did I..." Yomi stuttered, unbelieving.

"Wh..." was all Yukari could get out, as one of the students in the back of the class was crying, for some reason. Snapping back to something close to reality, she ordered, "Tomo, principal, now!" Then, stopping to consider, "And whoever you are, skipping around the class, you go too!"

END.


	2. Chapter 2: Tomo Died That Day

Chapter 2: Tomo Died That Day.

"So yeah, she's just been acting... normal, I mean, she's still calling me 'Mother' and everything," Ranma explained, as she nimbly danced around the Tendo Dojo, easily evading Akane's power blows, as per usual. "So, what do you think?"

"I think you should stop jumping around like the drug crazed grasshopper you are and take a punch, but that's not going to happen!" Akane yelled, lunging forward and slamming her hand into the ground, bringing her entire body around for a colossal leg sweep. As she jumped to her feet, cursing Ranma's inevitable leap to avoid the blow, she noticed that the redhead was looking at her with a very serious expression.

"Look, I don't know why you keep coming to me for advice on Sakaki," she started, "but I'd think it's perfectly normal. She's a very quiet girl, I think a bit too quiet, and you're the only parent she's had for most of her life."

"But Ukyo..." Ranma started.

"Is a big jerk!" Akane returned, instantly.

"Um, you do know she's still technically the female part of this relationship, and you're supposed to be calling me that," Ranma said, but couldn't help but smile at the support of her friend. Akane hadn't really changed much from the old days in Nerima, but it wasn't nearly so hard to live with her when you weren't the target of her wrath.

The blue-black haired woman laughed. "Hey, you're my girl friend, so I get to badmouth your spouse," she said, with a crooked grin.

Ranma's eyebrow twitched. "Gee, thanks," She muttered, and then looked around the Dojo. "We really trashed this place," she noted, taking special notice of the small crater that Akane's leg sweep had left in the flooring.

"You will help me though, right Ranma?" Akane asked, turning one of her most winning smiles on the other.

"You know, that is NOT fair." The redhead muttered, sighing. "Yeah, I'll..." As she was about to sign herself up for several hours of work based on the cute smile of a woman she hadn't dated in seventeen years, the cell phone in her pocket rang. Pulling it out, she flipped it open. "Hello?"

"Hello, Mrs. Kuonji? this is the school," the voice on the other end said. "We have your daughter here..." It trailed off at the end, as if uncertain.

"Huh?" Ranma asked, articulately. "Did Sakaki get in trouble?" Nearby, Akane perked up at this, leaning in to try and hear the phone's speaker. It was a futile effort.

"Um, well, she's not exactly in trouble – I think, it's just that the girl we have here doesn't really match the image on Sakaki-san's student ID, and she was skipping around Tanizaki Sensei's classroom," the woman clarified.

"Skipping?" Ranma exclaimed, causing Akane to stagger back from the volume. Then, something clicked. "Wait, this girl doesn't have bright red hair, does she?"

"Oh yes, how did..." The voice said, before Ranma interrupted.

"All right, I'll be right over," the redhead said, sighing, and then hanging up before the other woman could say anything else.

"So?" Akane asked, as the other martial artist slipped her phone back into her pocket.

"Looks like the repair work's all up to you; Sakaki manifested the curse." Ranma grumbled, and started for the door.

"If you want, I'll drive you over, you know, for moral support," Akane offered, smiling brightly.

Ranma abruptly went pale, and any onlooker would swear that the color drain extended to her blue blouse and black slacks. "Um, no, that's... um, that's fine, Akane. I'll go by myself," she stammered, before charging out of the Dojo.

Akane sighed, slumped her shoulders, and then started glaring around at the wreckage scattered around the room. "Ranma, you idiot," she griped, and started cleaning up.

HR.

"Please stop," Sakaki said, more quietly than usual, as Tomo inquisitively jabbed her in the right breast. To tell the truth, she was rather embarrassed about her outburst in the classroom, but with how persistently irritating Tomo was being, she was getting tempted to use one of the techniques her mother had shown her to freeze the other's poking hand.

"Are you really Sakaki? Prove it!" the other burst out, pointing a shaking finger at the short, red haired girl who sat beside her. "I bet you're some sort of super-villain, in a water solu... dissolving rubber suit, who's come to kidnap Chiyo-chan and make her into your head planner, aren't you?"

This actually gained a twitching eye from Sakaki, who disguised it rather well by slumping forward, her hair falling over her eyes, and letting out a long sigh. 'At least she didn't accuse me of trying to marry her,' she thought, recalling the stories her mother had told, which were starting to sound more and more plausible as time went on.

In fact, a lot was starting to sound more plausible, at this point. Originally, her desire to become cuter had overcome some of her more logical thought processes, or she would have questioned the story she'd been told, about her mother actually being her father and vise-versa, but now, well, she could pretty well look in the mirror and realize it was true.

Some of the implications were... distressing, though it would sort of explain why she completely failed in being cute most of the time, if she were actually raised by someone who used to be a guy. "Hmm..." she muttered, getting yet another inquisitive look and poke from Tomo. Yes, those pressure point techniques were looking very tempting. If Tomo decided to switch to groping instead, she'd be sorely tempted to paralyze Tomo's entire body, if only for a bit of peace and quiet.

"The principal will see you now," the secretary said in a bored tone, despite the mild amusement the two girls had been affording her. Both students stood and bowed, Tomo several times, before they moved to the back of the waiting room and the frosted glass door that stood there, emblazoned with "H. Ninomiya, principal."

Tomo shoved the door open, bursting in.. "Hey, we're here for causing a disruption in class! Go ahead, do your worst, we can take it! We can take it!" she yelled, posing dramatically.

Behind her, Sakaki sweat dropped, sidling sideways to distance herself from the clear madwoman. This turned out to be a mistake, as once she came into sight of the person sitting at the desk, a brown haired girl who seemed a little too young to be the leader of anything other than the baseball team, the girl bolted upright, pointing a shaking finger at her. "You! What are YOU doing here?"

"I told you, I'm here for detention... or something!" Tomo said, mistaking the target of the exclamation.

"No, I mean that delinquent boy beside you! Saotome, why are you in my school?" the principal demanded, and reached into one of the pockets of her somewhat oversized suit jacket.

"You're talking... to me?" Sakaki asked, uncertainly.

The woman didn't respond, or at least not in the way Sakaki expected. "Happo-fifty-yen-Satsu!" She bellowed, catching both girls in a colorless energy distortion that seemed to suck streams of light from their bodies. Sakaki's was a light pink color, while Tomo's, a kaleidoscopic mix of colors that hurt the eyes just to look at.

As the energy passed into the teen on the other side of the desk, she seemed to convulse for a moment, and then grow several inches in height. Sakaki would have been amazed by this, but she was too busy slumping to the ground, completely drained of energy, to notice.

The woman stood over the two for a moment, looking down at them disapprovingly. "I hope that teaches you not to be delinque... to..." She trailed off, and then she seemed to stiffen, her eyes shooting wide open. "Wee, sugar!" she screamed, charging through the door, and incidentally over the students, to get out into the main office. "I haven't felt this much of a rush since Saotome fed me 32 pixy sticks! Weeehaw!"

The secretary looked on as her boss danced joyously, unsure what to say. "Um, Ma'am?" She tried, though it was fruitless, as Hinako Ninomiya changed course, opening and dancing through the door to the hallways, and then away.

Several minutes later, an older woman who looked startlingly similar to the red haired girl crumpled on the floor walked in, looking somewhat confused and resigned. "I DID just see Hinako-Sensei running through the halls and scribbling happy faces on the doors, right?" She asked.

"Um, probably," the bored secretary returned, furiously chewing the end of a pencil to keep herself from saying or doing anything else. "Are you here for one of the students?"

The woman nodded. "Sakaki, is she all right?" she asked, worriedly.

Wordlessly, the secretary gestured towards the pile-o-girl sprawled out on the floor, and the woman sighed. "With my luck, she probably mistook her for me," she commented, "It's her first drain, so she's probably useless the rest of today. I'm calling her in sick."

The secretary nodded as if this were a matter of course, pulled the pencil from between her teeth and jotted down a note, as Ranma sighed, slinging the dead weight of her changed daughter over her shoulder. She only shuddered a little bit when Sakaki started petting her plait and calling it a "Nice kitty."

HR.

Back in the classroom, the lesson had ground to a halt as no one, not even Yukari-sensei could maintain focus after the change that had taken place just moments before. While Tomo acting as she had was completely normal, even expected, for her, Sakaki had seemed far too cool to behave in such a manner, especially as she did not seem at all surprised by the occurrence that led to her atypical behavior. Now, the classmates, and Yukari, were discussing what could possibly be the cause of these events. Some of the theories were less realistic than others.

"I bet she's a T-1000, here to assassinate Chiyo-chan before she can stop Skynet and win the war," the class representative speculated, while fiddling with his oversized glasses.

"But why did she choose to change then?" asked another classmate. Surprisingly, said classmate was a perfectly normal looking girl. "It blew her cover, didn't it?"

"I bet Chiyo reprogrammed her with her mind!" the boy exclaimed, pointing accusingly at the ten year old.

"But I didn't..." Chiyo stuttered, suddenly on the spot.

"Yeah, her last name isn't Tam, after all," the girl replied.

"Would you dorks give it a rest?" Yukari demanded, slamming her hands down on her desk. "Let's keep this at least a little realistic; it's obviously a magical curse!"

"I-I'm sorry for causing a disturbance," Chiyo said, before moving towards the back of the room, escaping from the gazes of the majority of the class.

The classroom descended into dead silence for a full minute, before half the class turned to the teacher with incredulous looks and said, "Nah." Yukari glared at them, and took note of who would be failing their next quiz.

Off in a shadowed corner, one of the girls was sitting perfectly still, as though in shock, her tears having dried. "Th-that wasn't cool at all," Kaorin stuttered.

"I don't know," Chiyo contributed, moving a hand up to her chin. "I thought it was pretty cool."

"What? Why?" the despondent girl asked, confused.

"Well, I don't know..." Chiyo started, still thinking. "She did change by magic, remember? I never knew magical girls existed, but Sakaki-san is one. That's kind of cool, isn't it? And how she jumped over Yukari-Sensei, that must have been hard."

"Yeah, I guess it was kinda neat." The other girl said, brightening slightly.

Nearby, Yomi nodded. "Yeah, and she had to have lost, like, sixty pounds in that change. It'd be so convenient to be able to do that, and I'd always look awesome."

By this time, the despondent girl didn't seem upset at all, nodding along with the others.

"Yeah, that would be great!" another voice cut in, and they all looked over to see Yukari standing behind them, tapping her foot. "But I THOUGHT I gave you an English composition assignment to be working on right now!"

"Oh, I'm sorry Yukari-Sensei, I..." Chiyo started.

"Um, Sensei? You.. haven't given us anything." Yomi butted in, sweat dropping.

Yukari blinked. "Oh..." She said, then shook her head. "Well of course I didn't, but I am now, so get studying!" She exclaimed, giggling nervously, as she pulled a pile of papers from apparently nowhere and dumped them on Yomi's desk.

HR.

When Sakaki came back to consciousness, she was sitting in the passenger seat of her mother's car, the older woman scowling ferociously at Tokyo city traffic, chanting "Soul of Ice. Soul of Ice." This was usually the state of events when they drove, as Ranma had to restrain herself through force of will from using a kinetic energy blast to send the cars in front of them off the side of the road, but it would be nice if Sakaki could remember how she'd gotten here, this time.

"Hmm?" She asked, rolling a little to the side, until she could see her own reflection in the side-view mirror. The face that stared back was unfamiliar, which shocked her into a slightly higher state of wakefulness, but then the memories of what had happened over the past half an hour rolled in.

"Hey, glad you're awake," Ranma said, still glaring holes into the back of a mini-van with twenty bumper stickers glued to it. "I guess I didn't check far enough up the chain of command for my former teachers. Sorry about that, Sakaki-chan."

"That was... Hinako-Sensei, right?" the younger girl asked, slowly. At her mother's nod, she continued, "Did I get a mark against me?"

"Hmm, probably not. She was too busy skipping down the halls when I saw her to file any kind of paperwork, and she probably drained you because you looked like me," Ranma returned, then her constant annoyed glare turned speculative. "I wonder if she can still put punitive notes into my school files."

Sakaki sighed, and then looked into the mirror again, reminding herself that she was cute now, at least... even though she would have to be very careful NEVER to approach her principal in this body.

The car fell into an uncomfortable silence for a moment, before Ranma spoke, "So, um, I guess it happened to you, too." She muttered, "I'm really sorry, if I'd have known my curse would affect my kids..." She shook her head. "I'm glad to have you, but I didn't really want to stick you with it."

Sakaki looked at her mother, noticing that the older redhead really did look upset, however, taking a closer look, she noticed something else. "Mom, what happened to your hair?" she burst out, noting that the plate had been messily lopped off by what looked like a sharp knife, what was left of the longer locks falling to frame her face.

Ranma blinked, surprised at such an off-topic question. "Just, kinda felt like a change." She said, laughing nervously. Sakaki was slightly doubtful that the reason was that simple, as the car shook violently for a few seconds as she said it. Then again, she didn't really want to pry, especially with what had just been said.

"I don't mind." She finally said, quietly.

"What?" Ranma asked, surprised.

"I... kind of like looking like this," Sakaki returned, her face, which already looked childishly cute as Ranma's had when she was a teen, suffused with her usual light blush.

"Well," Ranma said, not having expected that response. "I... guess that's good, then, I mean, if you don't mind the curse..." She muttered something about Pandas and cliffs, but Sakaki's ears weren't good enough to catch it. "Hey, I know, let's go out and hit the ice-cream shop!"

"What?" Sakaki asked, confused.

"It really helps to get some energy into you after you get drained by Hinako like that." Ranma explained, 'And I'll teach those bastard counter-boys for muttering about me being too old!' She thought, but didn't speak this part aloud.

HR.

"What do you think, Sakaki-chan? Double fudge ripple?" Ranma asked.

"Chocolate dipped," Sakaki confirmed in a monotone. "With sprinkles."

"That's my girl," Ranma said proudly. "Now get in there and do what I taught you."

With a nod, Sakaki marched into the ice-cream parlor and made her way to the counter. When the counter-boy looked down at her, she started going through the actions her mother had instructed her in. First, she put her hands behind her back and leaned forward, keeping her eyes open and blinking only when she had to. "Excuse me sir, but can I have two Chocolate fudge cones with chocolate dip and sprinkles?" she asked, trying to get her voice to sound as cute as she could.

The boy at the counter looked at the oddly acting girl, and was overcome by twin senses of infatuation and... wrongness, as if there were some universal rule being violated. "Um, yes Ma'am, coming right up!" he said, quickly turning to fill the order, but taking covert glances back at the girl, who was now rocking back and forth on her heels, hands still clasped.

He hurriedly assembled the two cones, stopping only long enough to ensure that one had extra sprinkles. After all, the girl WAS really cute, and then handed them to her. She frowned cutely for a moment, and then tried to hand one cone off to the other hand, but then realized that she couldn't hold two cones that way. "Um, could you hold this for me?" she asked, offering one back to the counter-boy.

He looked at her, and was once more overcome by the twin sensations, especially as she seemed to be quivering her lip a bit. "D... don't worry about it, they're on the house for a girl as cute as you!" he exclaimed.

"Really?" she asked, and suddenly the wrongness dissipated as her smile grew to about twice its previous size. "You're serious?"

"Y...yeah, sure. No problem," the boy stuttered, just a little surprised by the reaction.

"Oh, thank you!" the little redhead exclaimed, before turning and walking happily out of the restaurant. 'I was right, cuteness IS power!' She thought, giddily.

Seeing her daughter come out with the prizes, Ranma bowed low. "You have learned well, my student," she said, in her most pompous Genma impression.

"Thank you, Sensei," Sakaki returned, though she didn't bow, as it would likely spill her ice cream.

HR

Tomo was just coming to, looking around before inching her way out of the now empty office into the reception area, on her stomach as she lacked the energy to stand at the moment. Looking down at the human caterpillar, the secretary drawled, "You might want to return to class."

With a tired groan, Tomo crawled out into the hallway and slowly made her way towards Class 3-1, each foot a new battle against the world. Finally, after what seemed to be hours of excruciating struggle, she made her way to the classroom's door. Just as she reached out to drag it open, a bell rang, signaling the end of the period and the start of lunch.

The door slammed open and a pack of starving students stampeded out, nearly crushing Tomo beneath their slippered feet. Several times, she had to contort her body as an inattentive student almost stepped on her.

As she was skipping out of the classroom, preparatory to going down to the teacher's lounge for a bit of Nyamo's lunch, Yukari looked over at the panting figure on the floor. "Hey, are you all right, Tomo?"

"I'm fine." The girl groaned out, and attempted to give the "V" sign before her hand fell limply to the tile.

"Oh, all right then!" Yukari replied brightly, continuing on her way and salivating at the thought of her impending free lunch.

"Tomo, is that you out there?" Yomi asked, looking out into the hallway. The stricken girl just waved and gave a weak laugh. "What's wrong with you?"

"Maybe she's dead?" one of the girls still in the classroom postulated.

"No! She can't be dead!" Chiyo declared vehemently. Running over to the door, she grabbed the nearest appendage and began pulling. It took all of her not so formidable strength to move Tomo part way into the room. Yomi stopped her after Tomo had been dragged a full foot. Giving all the gawking guys in the room a death glare, she flipped Tomo's skirt back down and dragged her the rest of the way in and over to her desk, dropping her onto the floor next to it.

"So what happened," Yomi asked. "The last time I saw you this out of it was in third grade."

"The principal's a Youma, call the Senshi!" Tomo said, deliriously.

"What happened in third grade?" The class representative asked as he leaned casually on his desk, munching on soda crackers. As he hadn't been gawking at Tomo's panties, he hadn't been glared into the terrified inability to speak.

"She decided she didn't need a coat when she was playing in the snow," Yomi began.

"So she was in bed sick?" Chiyo asked, grimacing in sympathy.

"No, they had to sedate her to keep her from jumping up and down on the hospital beds when she went in with pneumonia." Yomi drawled, looking at her friend sidelong.

"I told you, Youma!" Tomo exclaimed, and this time she managed to drag herself to her knees on the edge of one of the desks, her fist raised into the air.

"She's fine," Yomi sighed, raising one hand to rub at her forehead.

HR.

As Yukari entered the staff room, she noticed that her best friend was slumped over in a chair, sweat dripping down her face as she pressed it into the table. Wait... were those tears?

"Hey, what's up?" Yukari asked, sliding onto the edge of the desk, right next to the other's face. Nyamo abruptly sat up.

"Do you have to do that to a doomed woman?" She muttered, acidly.

"Ooh, this sounds good! What happened?" Yukari asked, leaning forward.

Nyamo sighed. "Someone jumped into the middle of our dodge ball game and stole the ball. I ran after her to chase her down. I caught up to her pretty quickly, but when I tackled her, it turned out to be Ninomiya-san."

Yukari blinked. "You tackled our principal?" she asked, actually a little stunned.

Nyamo nodded sullenly.

"Now you're getting it! Starting to act just like me! I told you I'd rub off on you some day!" Yukari said, cheerfully.

Nyamo groaned again, slamming her head back down into the desk.

"So... that's a no on me getting some of your food, right?" Yukari offered, after several moments of silence. Nyamo just sighed, digging through a desk drawer and offering a sandwich.

END.

Weebee:Hey Chiyo, I'm gunna steal your dog, hope you don't mind. We don't need him for a few chapters, after all.

Chiyo: Wait, no! Mr. Tadakichi!

Weebee runs off, carrying a 110 pound dog above his head with little difficulty.

Weebee: Mine, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


	3. Chapter 3: Chiyo Messing Up

Chapter 3: Chiyo Messing Up.

Sakaki Kuonji held a cup of steaming water over her head, gazing steadily into the mirror over the sink as she slowly tilted it, sending water cascading downward. It was startling, to see red washed away by black as if her hair had been covered in rapidly dissolving paint. That wasn't the only change, however, as the sink shot lower by almost a foot in half a second. She stumbled forward for a moment, her center of gravity rapidly repositioning, and caught herself with her hands on the sink.

"Is too, too confusing, no?" A voice came from behind her, and the teenager noticed the purple framed face in the mirror, watching from just over her shoulder. "Is worse to be cat, trust Shampoo."

"To be a cat," Sakaki thought, and then sighed wistfully. "I wonder if they'd bite me then?"

"Shampoo no bite," the Amazon said firmly, missing what Sakaki had meant.

"Th... that's not what I meant," the younger girl returned, and her face was suffused with a blush as she recalled all the times that she'd played with the lavender cat when she was a child, somehow not connecting it in her mind with her aunt, even though they both technically had the same missing right forearm and hand.

"Sakaki-chan give too too good ear scratchings," the purple haired woman continued, teasingly. Seeing Sakaki fidgeting nervously with one of her uniform sleeves, she finally relented. "Your order is ready outside, sister is waiting."

Sakaki nodded, looking down at the sink and considering splashing herself again, but deciding against it before turning and heading for the door into the rest of the Neko-Hanten.

HR.

"All right Ol' Ghoul, talk," was the first thing Sakaki heard, as she approached the table where her mother sat with several bowls of ramen, as well as what looked like a monkey on a stick. She knew better, of course, but she'd gotten quite a few blows to the head when younger for making said comparison. From what she remembered, both her mother and Uncle Mousse were whacked even harder each of those times.

"Ah, Honored Matriarch, so terse today," Cologne returned, getting a twitching eyebrow from Ranma. "To tell the truth, I have no idea why such a rare event has happened twice in one month, but I would naturally put it down to you being involved."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Ranma griped, recalling Ryoga's comment a week earlier. "Even when you don't hate my guts you're blaming me for things."

Sakaki didn't' say anything, settling in to watch the inevitable verbal boxing match between her mother and her old sensei. It seemed that the red haired woman lost a good thirty years of maturity when confronting Elder Cologne, but both seemed to enjoy it, and it was always entertaining. It was often better than watching television.

Cologne sighed, then shook her head. "Well, you have to admit that even after everything died down in Nerima, your life has not been anything near normal."

"Hey, it wasn't that bad!" Ranma objected.

"The singing?" Cologne started, and when Ranma was about to speak, she continued, "The new-years prayers every year, Ryu Kumen, the Gh..."

"Okay, I get the point!" Ranma proclaimed, cutting off Cologne's last example. There were some things that should never be mentioned, even less so around her daughter.

"Why, but that one was the most fun!" Cologne cackled, deftly deflecting one of Ranma's chopsticks as it was launched at her face. Regaining some composure, she continued, "I am truly sorry, Ranma. We had no way of telling that it would happen, or I would have warned you of this ahead of time. It's only ever happened six times in our tribe's entire history, and some of the records of the events were lost."

The younger martial artist sighed. "And let me guess, there's no cure?" She asked, not noticing Sakaki's nervous look from across the table, where she was now half-way through quietly eating her food at a pace most would consider normal.

Cologne shook her head. "The springs would take it as a drowned girl curse, so bathing in that water again would do nothing," Sakaki sighed in relief, though only Cologne noticed, "and any other curse we could give her would be worse," she explained, and then continued, "Plus, you do remember that at least half the valley is still flooded from your battle with Saffron."

"Oh yeah, have you heard anything from him since the last death threat?" Ranma asked, and ignored the sound of Sakaki choking on a clump of noodles.

"Kiima is still keeping him from leaving until his ascension in five years," Cologne returned, nodding. "She does keep sending us holiday cards, though, so I'm not sure how serious he is about it."

"Damn, that means I have to send them one this year again, right?" Ranma grumbled, and then shook herself. "As for Sakaki, can we get some more waterproof soap, or something?"

Cologne nodded. "I'll put in an order to the village later tonight," she confirmed. "I'm going to need your seal as Matriarch for authorization, though."

"Damn it, I'm ruling over two people." Ranma returned, heatedly.

"No, you leader of village of six, remember?" Shampoo chipped in, grinning evilly.

"Yeah, right." Ranma responded, irritably. "I'll go get the hanko from the car."

After she left, Cologne looked at Sakaki, a speculative expression crossing her weathered face. "I heard that sigh earlier," she said, kindly. "It sounded almost as if you were relieved when I informed your mother that there was no cure to your curse."

Sakaki didn't respond, though she did look away slightly, staring into the kitchen, and incidentally the gleaming white lenses of Mousse's glasses, which were perched atop his head.

"Ah, so that is how it is, hmm?" The Elder cackled. "Unlike your mother, I don't really have the right to poke in to your business, but I suppose I could send the letter by slow post, and maybe indicate that the matter isn't terribly urgent." She knew that, if she did that, the Elders would be pushing the waterproof soap order back for at least half a year, and would send it back in the same fashion.

"Thank you," the tall girl said, looking down at her lap and fidgeting with her hands nervously.

"No problem, child. Spoiling great great grandchildren is the best part of retirement, after all." Cologne proclaimed, grinning widely.

HR.

Tomo was rubbing her arm, which had a nice red mark from where Yomi had gripped it on their mad dash to arrive early. Apparently, she wanted to talk to Sakaki about how she managed her melting trick, to find out how to lose weight that quickly.

Tomo herself didn't really care, as long as she didn't have to go to that demon in the principal's office again, though she'd gone around to a couple of shrines the night before and picked up some insurance, just in case. Peaking into her desk, she noted the stack of wards, all slightly different, put together with a paperclip.

The others around her were discussing what had happened the day before, not all that quietly. Apparently, it was too unusual for them to readily accept, and all of the theories they had come up with yesterday had been shot down. The current leading theory was that Sakaki was really Mystique and was trying to recruit Chiyo-chan into the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. If this were the case, Tomo was sure she'd be getting a visit soon enough.

She had been sitting patiently, with the exception of when she'd gotten up to draw a group of playing squirrels on the blackboard, for the last five minutes, when the door slid open once more, allowing the subject of conversation to enter the room. Instantly the room fell silent as no one wanted to draw attention to the fact that they had all been discussing her. Sakaki quietly made her way across to her seat, where she sat, looking out the window, determining how to best kill the rest of her class."

"Stop doing ridiculous narration like that!" Yomi yelled, hitting her 'friend' over the head with a book. Walking over to the latest arrival, Yomi asked, "Can I talk to you about yesterday?" When Sakaki turned to acknowledge her presence she continued, "I was wondering, how did you lose so much weight so fast?"

Sakaki looked at the other girl incredulously for a moment, though she quickly concealed the expression so as not to offend her. "Actually," She started, deciding not to confront the absurdity head-on, "That form's musculature's a lot more dense than mine, so I only weighed a little less."

"Um..." Yomi said, blinking slowly at such a verbose response from the normally quiet student, before she managed to translate what she'd just been told out of 'biology class' and into clear Japanese. "Oh..."

"Hey, looks like another diet fell through, huh Yomi?" Tomo, who had walked up behind the two in the time since the conversation started, said with a slap to the brown haired girl's back. "But anyways, what did you do? I kept asking you yesterday, but you wouldn't say anything, so spill!"

"Yeah, what happened?" the class president said.

"Did it hurt?" Chiyo asked, concerned, jumping up to get a quick peek over Tomo's shoulder.

Sakaki sighed, as the bombardment continued, and pulled open her school bag, digging around in it for a moment before extracting a small, white pamphlet, the words "A quick guide to Jusenkyo Springs: Supplemental material to the Manga "Ryu One Half" scrawled across the top in neat handwriting. At the bottom, in small black font, was written "Written, edited and published by Nabiki Tendo, Tendo Publishing, a subsidiary of Nyacorp."

Sakaki handed the pamphlet off to Yomi, saying, "Here." Yomi was the obvious choice, as she was right next to her and not likely to do something stupid with it.

"Hey!" the class representative, Masaaki Ooyama, shouted. "Isn't that for the manga that came out a few months ago?"

"You're right. I wonder why they have a supplement already," Midori Tachikawa, one of the member's of the school's Anime club, said. "There's only three people with curses, after all."

"Weird," Ooyama agreed. Turning back to Sakaki, he asked, "So, what does it say? What's in it?"

Yomi opened the pamphlet, which folded out into a large map on one side and a large amount of information on the other. Turning to the text based side, she gave it a quick look over and said, "There's definitely more than three curses here."

"Spoilers?" Midori almost squealed. "Can I see?"

Ooyama, on the other hand, backed off and said, "Don't tell me about them. I don't want to spoil the manga."

The class split between those that didn't like spoilers and those who either did or didn't care. Once those who did not want to hear had distanced themselves, Yomi began to read.

"As you read the plot refresher at the top of the page, you heard the name "Springs of Death" thrown around quite a lot. This location, though fictional, is based off of a real location known as the Springs of Sorrow." This location has been declared, by the United Nations, a Bio-hazard site, and only specific people are allowed in, but it contains all of the properties of the Mongolian Springs of Death, and I personally know several victims. The curse is triggered by cold water, and reversed through hot. Enclosed is a map of the springs, cobbled together from what information I could gather, though due to events beyond my control, I cannot say that it is still accurate today." Yomi lowered the paper, her eyes wide in surprise. "You mean, you somehow got a curse from the Springs of Death?"

"My mother did, actually, and passed it down." Sakaki said, and then turned away, determined to get her normal allotment of window gazing time in before she needed to start reading or working on assignments.

"Well, that's really interesting and hearing it means I really should have had a drink this morning, but we all have to start class now!" Miss Yukari, who had entered during Yomi's reading of the pamphlet, somehow unnoticed in spite of her usual loud entrance, exclaimed, tapping one foot against the floor furiously.

HR.

In the school's principal's office, a form slumped over the desk, head cradled in arms as long, flowing brown hair hid the whole mess from sight. Inches away from the immobile lump, a loud buzzing sound rang from an intercom. "Damn it," it swore, moving to reveal the fifteen-year-old face of Hinako Ninomiya, her cheeks pale and drawn below heavily bloodshot eyes. Reaching out, she punched the button on the intercom by her arm. "Yes?" she growled, sounding a lot like a panda of her acquaintance.

"Someone is here to see you, she claims to be Ranma Kuonji, one of the students' parents." Hinako shot bolt upright at this, but quickly regretted it, as her head spun violently.

"Urp, send him in," she ordered, bracing her hands against the table to steady herself again. She had been planning to have words with the delinquent Saotome for feeding her that... whatever the hell that thing was the day before, but she really didn't feel up to it right now.

Admittedly, her secretary had said the person's last name was Kuonji, but how many Ranmas could there be in the world? As the door opened, and a woman in her mid-30s walked in looking about as annoyed as she felt, Hinako let her head down slowly until it rested against the table. "There's two of you?" she moaned, piteously.

"Nice to see you too, Hinako-sensei." Ranma said, coldly, but as she looked over the other's condition, her face softened a little. "What happened to you?"

"I... ate something that disagreed with me," Hinako said, flatly.

"So that's why I saw you skipping around and drawing on doors yesterday?" Ranma realized, and Hinako shot up to glare at her.

"I... I honestly can't remember most of what happened," she admitted. "But why were you here?"

Ranma's earlier frown returned, and this time in force. "You drained my daughter," she said, dangerously. "I got the details from her, and it was pretty unprovoked given what you used to let slide at Furinkan."

"Your..." Hinako said, then blinked.

"Sakaki Kuonji." Ranma clarified, and the principal considered turning around to rummage through her files, but then thought better of it when her first attempt to stand caused her to wobble dangerously before she sank back into her chair.

"Look," She said, pathetically. "If I say I'm sorry, will you leave me alone?"

Ranma's eyebrow twitched. 'And I thought this school was normal?' She thought, but as she looked at the pathetically sick face of the young girl before her, she sighed. "Remember, I'm not a student anymore, and I don't even look like that. If this happens again, I'm calling in favors."

Hinako straightened, not used to Ranma making threats. Even when he'd been trying to seal off her pressure points, he'd always been more action oriented, but seeing the deadly look in the redhead's eyes, she had to gulp, then nod frantically. On any other day she would have made an issue of it, but she was just too tired.

"Thanks," Ranma said. "Believe it or not, you were one of my more tolerable teachers back in school."

"Really?" Hinako asked, her blood shot eyes suddenly sparkling, which created a rather disconcerting effect. Most of her students had described her as the disciplinarian from hell.

"Yeah, at least you kept me awake." Ranma smirked, before turning and leaving the room. She charitably ignored the sound of a head hitting a desk as she opened the door.

HR.

Lunch had come and a good amount of the class had left to forage for sustenance. Such is the way of the wild student. Some of the students were staying in the classroom, eating from their bento, and generally having a longer time to eat. Finally, there were those who were forgoing lunch in order to fawn over Sakaki's pamphlet. This last group had an appointment with Darwin somewhere down the line.

Chiyo was one of the students in the second group, though she had yet to touch her carefully prepared meal. She was trying to work up the courage to approach Sakaki. Finally, she walked up to the other's desk and asked, "Um, Sakaki-san, can I talk with you for a moment?"

"Hm?" Sakaki murmured, looking over to her. After how many people had bugged her so far today, the dark haired girl considered just ignoring anyone who asked her anything by this point, but being ten years old, and therefore cute, bought Chiyo a little leeway. "I guess."

Settling herself into the next desk over, Chiyo opened her lunch and broke apart her chopsticks before asking, "You know the author of that Manga?"

"No, not really," Sakaki answered softly. "One of my parents gave it to me."

"Oh," Chiyo said, her pigtails drooping slightly, before they sprang back up. "But they know the author, right? I don't think that supplement's been released yet."

Sakaki nodded. "One of aunt Akane's sisters gave it to her, I think." She offered, trying to be helpful.

"A... Akane?" Chiyo asked, her eyes widening. "That's my aunt's name! What's your mother's name?"

"My... mother?" Sakaki asked, kind of confused as to how to answer the question. Then again, the one she called 'Mother' would have to do, she supposed. "Her given name is Ranma."

"Hmm," Chiyo said, and then her arm shot up. "Oh yeah, the one who ran off when Daddy came home!" Unfortunately for Chiyo, the room had gone silent moments before her exclamation, as Yukari had just come in.

"What did she say?" One girl asked, whispering slightly too loudly.

"That sounds a lot like someone's been fooling around," someone else returned.

"But... Mom works very hard!" Chiyo objected, wanting to stick up for her maternal parental unit.

HR.

Ryoga looked around the green field he found himself standing in, wondering precisely where he had ended up this time. He'd taken off so quickly, mostly because Ino had been talking about water and the vet, that he'd forgotten to take Katsunishiki with him, as he normally rode the giant pig everywhere in order to keep his family curse from rearing its ugly head.

Now, he was paying for his rush, as he hadn't even seen this place before. He could see a sign on a nearby building identifying it as a high school of some sort, and fortunately it was in Japanese, but that was about all he could glean from his surroundings.

Sighing and tugging on the straps to his backpack, the lost boy decided to continue using his old method of path finding, and spun in place for a moment before starting out in a random direction.

"Um, excuse me, but do you need help?" a voice came from in front of him, and the large man looked down to notice a teenaged girl. She had long black hair, and brown eyes that seemed to look through him rather than at him.

"I'm just a little lost, don't worry," Ryoga said, feeling a little disconcerted by the girl's vague stare.

"Well where ya tryin to get to?" She asked, in a friendly tone. "I can help."

"I'm looking for Tokyo," he said, deciding that he could get more specific if he was already there.

"Oh really? You wanna go to Tokyo too? I'm gunna be transferring there in a few weeks!" The girl said, happily. "We're in Osaka right now, though, so you're an awful long way off course."

"O... Osaka?" Ryoga stuttered, surprised. He hadn't been this lost in a good long time.

"Yup," the girl said, nodding a couple of times.

"Then which way's Tokyo?" Ryoga asked, sighing in defeat.

"Hmm..." the girl said, raising her hand to her chin for a moment. "The sun rises in the east... I think, and it's..." She looked down at her wrist, where there was no watch. "Past lunch time, so it'd be that way!"

"Thank you," Ryoga said, bowing, before lining himself up with the girl's pointing hand and marching off. As she watched him slowly curve off-course, Ayumu Kasuga blinked, slowly.

"I wonder what his problem is," she muttered, and turned back to the school.

HR.

Later that afternoon, Yukari skipped into the teacher's lounge, a big grin on her face. "Hey, Nyamo, guess what I just found out!" she squealed, sounding much like one of her own students.

"I don't have time for this right now, Yukari." the black haired woman replied, hunching over a set of papers. "I've got to mark these and prepare a lesson plan for the person they replace me with."

"Huh?" Yukari asked, forgetting about what she'd just been about to say. "You're leaving?"

"Mmhmm," Nyamo returned, despondently. "I even saw Ninomiya-san giving me the evil eye at lunch."

"You were probably just imagining it!" Yukari returned. "Relax, all right? No one else would ever take your job, so they have to keep you!"

"Gee, thanks," Nyamo deadpanned, "but I didn't imagine it. Her eyes were red."

"Yeah, she did seem kind of out of it today, didn't she?" Yukari returned. "I wonder what's wrong?"

"She got food poisoning." Both women jumped a full foot into the air at the intruding male voice. This was quite an accomplishment on Nyamo's part, as she brought her desk with her.

"Don't do that!" Yukari yelled, turning on Mr. Kimura, who had been leaning in between them.

"No, wait. What did you say, Kimura?" Nyamo asked, knowing, somehow, that it was important.

"Oh, Ninomiya-san, she told me during lunch. She ate something that she shouldn't have yesterday. Maybe it was a hallucinogenic mushroom or something, with all the jumping around she did." The man grinned, recalling said jumping around and what it had done to certain portions of the very youthful looking woman's anatomy. "Anyways, she says that she can't even remember half of what she did yesterday."

Abruptly, Nyamo was up and on her feet, grinning widely. "Really?" she asked, and the rather creepy looking man nodded rapidly. "Kimura, if you weren't so creepy, I'd kiss you!"

The man stopped dead, his hands convulsing into claws and his mouth dropping wide open, before he turned slightly to the side, and yelled "She would kiss me!" The two female teachers watched him for a moment, before he seemed to recover himself, bow, and leave the room.

"God, he's weird," Yukari mumbled, and got an affirmative nod from Nyamo.

END.


	4. Chapter 4: Who is Ayumu Kasuga anyways?

Jonakhensu here. I'm starting up a mob to get Mr. Tadakichi back for Chiyo-chan. Operators are standing ready at 456-555-9378. Please help reunite a girl and her dog. Don't forget to bring your pitchforks and torches.

So...

Chapter 4: Who is Ayumu Kasuga anyways?

She stared into its eyes, the atmosphere around the two crackling with tension. Today, she would do it. Today, she would pet the cat that she'd seen walking across the walls since start of term, three weeks before. Looking down, she frowned for a moment at the bandages that lined her knuckles from the last attempt. This time, though, it was going to be different.

Reaching out slowly, she lowered her hand, inch by inch, until it was right above the cat's head. A small smile appeared on the tall girl's face for a moment, as she could taste victory in easy reach... and then, the cat's mouth opened far wider than she thought was physically possible, revealing razor-like teeth that sank into her flesh with a painful stinging sensation.

"Ah..." Sakaki exclaimed, as the cat opened its mouth and she brought her fingers back, new gashes open on each second knuckle. Sighing, she cradled the wounded appendage against herself, and turned away. She turned back, however, when she heard a loud, angry yowling from nearby, only to see a pissed off purple blur hobbling down the street in a peculiar, three legged gait, and at a speed that she would have been surprised by if she hadn't known who it was.

Shampoo propelled herself into the air with her hind-legs, unsheathing her claws and descending on the dark grey cat that had bitten Sakaki like a feline avenging angel. "Aunt Shampoo, no!" Sakaki exclaimed, horrified, as the two disappeared into a dust cloud.

When the cloud cleared, the pink and purple furred feline was standing on top of a blood and gash covered mess that had once been her grey enemy, preening and licking her fur in victory. "I wish you hadn't done that." Sakaki muttered, looking down at the Amazon in mild disapproval.

Shampoo didn't even seem to hear the scolding, launching off of the ground and onto Sakaki's uninjured arm, and then using that purchase to walk easily up to her shoulder. "I was bugging it, it wasn't right for you to beat it up."

The purple cat just looked at her, staring into the girl's eyes with a look of smug superiority from her perspective on Sakaki's shoulder. The highschooler sighed in exasperation. "I'm going home," The dark haired girl decided. The cat who was her aunt seemed perfectly content to curl up on her shoulder and ride there as she walked.

HR.

"Sakaki-chan, I'm home!" Ranma called, kicking off her shoes and putting on her house slippers as she walked into the front hall.

"Welcome home!" two voices echoed back, Sakaki's usual subdued greeting followed by something a good deal more bubbly.

"Shamp... urk!" the red haired woman asked, turning away almost instantly as she entered the kitchen.

"Something wrong, sister?" the amazon asked, and Ranma could hear the teasing smirk in her voice. "Shampoo no want take clothes without asking, and only women here."

"Go into my room and grab a change of clothes," Ranma snarled, trying not to think about the fact that the Amazon had been standing, completely naked, in the room.

"Shampoo still have it," the purple haired woman giggled, moving from the other door out of the kitchen and deeper into the house.

"I hear you snickering over there," Ranma said, after Shampoo had left.

Sakaki just looked kind of sheepish.

HR.

"So why did you come over, Shampoo?" Ranma asked, in her typical blunt fashion

"Shampoo just get letter about last movie role, have free tickets," the Amazon said, flourishing four small slips of paper.

"You want us to go?" Ranma asked, confused. "You know how I feel about the movies you're in." She still couldn't believe the jobs Shampoo, and Mousse, had both gotten. She honestly never would have seen it coming when she was younger.

"Sister hurt Shampoo's feelings," the Amazon said, pouting. "If Ranma not want go, Shampoo give to Sakaki, she take friends from school, yes?"

Sakaki perked up at this. "What's the movie called?" She asked, also knowing the types of movies her aunt played in.

"It called 'Tale of an Abandoned Cat,'" Shampoo replied. "Tickets supposed to be for Shampoo 'owners,' but Shampoo see stupid prissy white cat again, Shampoo scratch eyes out!" She bit back her annoyance, and then continued, "Sakaki take, yes?"

"Go out... with my friends?" The black haired girl mumbled to herself, reaching out into the middle of the table and picking up the tickets. "Do I have any friends?"

"Sakaki, are you all right?" Ranma asked, worriedly, as her daughter stared down at the tickets and muttered to herself.

"Yes, I'm fine," the girl replied, quickly. "Thanks Aunt Shampoo, I'd love to see the movie."

Shampoo nodded. "That too too good. You not scared, like sister."

"Hey!" Ranma said, and shampoo just giggled before standing up. "Have to go back to restaurant now, see soon."

HR.

Sakaki looked down at the tickets in her hand despondently. She was given them with the express purpose of taking her friends with her. After four days, however, she had not found anyone she thought she could ask. With a sigh, she made her way to the theatre, as this was the only day the tickets would be usable, and watching the movie alone would be better than not watching it at all. She was just approaching the cinema when she saw her chance.

Walking towards her, as she was currently between them and the ticket booth, were Chiyo and two girls around her age. As they approached, Chiyo noticed her and headed over. "Oh, Sakaki-san, are you here to see a movie, too?" The younger girl asked.

"Yes," Sakaki answered. "One of my aunts is in it."

"That's so cool!" one of the younger girls exclaimed. "What movie is it?"

"Tale of an Abandoned Cat," Sakaki said, quietly.

"Really?" the other little girl asked. "That's what we came to see."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Sakaki-san, let me introduce my friends, Miruchi and Yuka-chan," Chiyo said, gesturing to the girl with short, dark hair and then the one with long, brown hair respectively. "Miruchi, Yuka-chan, this is one of my classmates, Sakaki-san."

"Oh, it's nice to meet you," Miruchi said.

"Yeah," Yuka-chan agreed.

Sakaki sketched a short bow and murmured, "It's nice to meet you, too." After a moment she started slightly as an idea came upon her. "Would you join me?"

"Sure," Chiyo began. "Just let us go get our tickets and we'll be right back."

"No need," Sakaki said, pulling the tickets out of her pocket. "I have four."

"Oh, wow! How did you get those?" Miruchi asked.

"My aunt gave them to me."

"That's so cool!" Yuka enthused.

"Are you sure?" Chiyo asked. "we wouldn't want to be any trouble."

Sakaki smiled softly. "They'll be useless after today anyway."

"Yeah, and it's always better to watch with a group than all alone." Yuka contributed.

Chiyo giggled. "I guess you're right!" she decided. "Thanks so much Sakaki-san!"

"You're welcome," Sakaki said quietly, before looking up to a clock that hung in front of one of the sets of theatre doors. "It's almost time for the movie to start."

"Yeah, let's go!" Miruchi said, and began skipping towards the doors, the others following at a more sedate pace.

HR.

"So, which one of the actresses is your aunt, Sakaki-san?" Chiyo whispered, as the group sat in the darkness of the theatre. The film had gotten to a slow point, where the family was looking for the cat through the streets of the city, so she wasn't really interrupting anything.

When she got no response, she looked to the side where Sakaki was sitting, only to see the larger girl wiping her eyes with her sleeve. Was she... crying? Granted, it was a sad movie, but she'd always thought that highschoolers weren't supposed to cry. "Are you all right?" she asked, a little more loudly, and was immediately shushed by the person behind them.

"Oh, I'm... fine." Sakaki said, hoping that the darkness concealed her red rimmed eyes. "It's just a very good movie."

"Yeah, I guess, if it could make a big tough girl like you cry." Yuka-chan observed, impressed.

"Don't worry, the cat will get home," Miruchi assured, confidently.

"Mmhmm." Chiyo replied, "But which of the actresses is your aunt?"

"I'll point her out when she comes on screen, if you'd like," Sakaki offered, relieved that she hadn't been laughed at by a group of ten-year-olds for her outburst, and feeling a little more relaxed.

A few moments later, as the movie had switched back to a scene of the little lost cat running through a forest, Sakaki lifted her arm and pointed. "There," she said, calmly, as the cat suddenly burst into a roll under a tree branch to escape the jaws of the wild dog that was after it.

"What?" Chiyo asked, and was shushed again.

"There." Sakaki said, unsure what was wrong. As the cat escaped the dog, and began walking again, she frowned. "She's gone."

Chiyo blinked several times. "Um, all right," she said, confused, and decided to let the subject drop for now.

HR.

The girls were making their way out of the theatre well after the majority of the patrons had left, having needed the time for Sakaki to regain her composure, and return to normal after an usher had spilt a glass of pop on her. Walking into the bright light caused all four to shield their eyes from the glare. Once their eyes had adjusted sufficiently, they noticed a tall woman with purple hair standing before them.

"Sakaki like, yes?" she asked, a smile gracing her lips.

"Aunt Shampoo," Sakaki said, walking over to give Shampoo a hug. "You were great." Turning to the younger girls she said, "This is my classmate, Chiyo-chan, and her friends Miruchi and Yuka-chan."

"Aiya! This Sakaki-chan's classmate? Sakaki fail out of high school without telling Shampoo?" the Amazon asked, teasingly.

"Oh, no, Shampoo-san, I just started high school this month," Chiyo said, not wanting to get her new friend in trouble. Then, she seemed to realize something, and looked between the obviously human, though pretty older woman and Sakaki. "I thought you said that your aunt was the cat in the movie." Her two friends would have giggled at this, but they were still locked into a state of shock from when they had seen Sakaki transform in the theater.

"Shh, is trade secret," Shampoo said, trying to convey an air of mysteriousness.

"Oh, I know, are you cursed like Sakaki-san?" Chiyo burst out, the sudden realization overcoming her usual tact.

Shampoo deflated slightly. "Secret no fun if no is secret," she said with a pout.

"The other cat," Sakaki began. "Was not very good," she decided.

"What do you mean?" Chiyo asked.

"She kept looking just to the right of the camera." The tall girl explained

"Had use toy to keep stupid cat working," Shampoo said, sniffing. "It very unprofessional."

"Really? I suppose being a stunt cat would be pretty interesting," Chiyo said, her eyes shining with curiosity, as the three began to slowly walk out of the theatre's front lobby, not noticing that Yuka and Miruchi were still staring vacantly into space.

"Did she just say... that the cat was unprofessional?" One of them asked, turning slowly to the other.

"Mmhmm," the other returned, nodding slowly.

"Chiyo-chan's new friends are weird."

HR.

Life, Ryoga Hibiki decided, truly sucked. He'd realized this several hundred times before, but those realizations had gotten fewer and farther between ever since he'd married Akari and settled down. Granted, he still had his curse, but his wife actually seemed to like it, which was slightly creepy but also a definite plus, and he had a beautiful, if sometimes homicidal, daughter.

Now, though, the head of the Hibiki household was lost, yet again. What made it worse was that it was a place he recognized very well, mainly because he'd been lost here several dozen times in the past month, and the damned sprinklers had just gone off.

Ryoga bweed dispiritedly, lowering his nose to the ground again and sniffing for any familiar scents. Of course, none came to him, but as he was doing so he heard a voice behind him. "Hey, it's a pig!"

Turning around, he saw one of the many people who had given him directions, staring at him in bemusement. "What on earth's a pig doin here?"

Ryoga bweed again, and started to amble off. He knew what his cursed form plus females meant, and still had phantom pains from the blows Akane had landed, while Akari watched passively, for the P-chan thing. "Hey, where are you goin, pig?" The girl demanded, starting to walk alongside him.

Ryoga didn't respond, marching fixedly forward. "Hmm, you're a pretty big pig to be wandering around in the city." The girl observed, reaching an arm down to note that the black animal came well up to her waist. "Have I seen that bandanna before?"

Ryoga still didn't respond, but as the girl took a turn on her way to her home, he automatically turned with her. 'Aw, he's following me home!' She thought, and reached down to pat the pig on the top of it's head. Ryoga didn't realize what was going on until he stopped ignoring the world in his attempt to get lost, and found himself sitting on a tatami mat in a bedroom that was obviously occupied by a female.

"Bwee." He moaned, dispiritedly. "Akari's going to kill me.'

HR.

Yukari-sensei stood at the front of the class with the new student and said, "Alright, this is our new transfer student! Her name is Ayumu Kasuga. Please introduce yourself to the class."

The black haired girl took a step forward, bowing before saying, "Mah name is Ayumu Kasuga. It's a pleasure to meet all of-" She would have continued, but Yukari-sensei interrupted her.

"Don't be uptight on our account," the teacher began, preparing an unintentional lesson on stereotyping. "Feel free to speak how you normally would. Go on, break out the 'How's yew 'uns doin'? Right pleasure to meet yew 'uns.' I'm sure the class would love to hear how a real Osakan talks."

"But we don't go that far, even in Osaka," Ayumu protested, trying to resist the stereotype. The eyes of the class bored into her, urging her to submit and conform to their expectations. Where others may have crumbled under the pressure, she merely bent. "How's yew 'uns doin'? Right pleasure to meet yew 'uns."

Once Ayumu was introduced to the class, they were given time to socialize and get to know there new classmate better. It had absolutely nothing to do with Yukari-sensei having forgotten to write up a lesson plan for that period. It wasn't her fault she had gotten lost in the new Victorious Viscera 7 game. The blood splatters were too realistic to just put down. She was lucky to have even arrived at the school on time this morning.

Walking over to Ayumu, Yomi commented, "You know, you don't seem all that 'Osakan' to me. I guess I was, I don't know, expecting someone nosier, or something."

"Yeah," Tomo agreed, loudly. "You're not Osakan at all. I bet you're an impostor!"

"No Ah'm not," she protested.

"I know, we'll do a test," Tomo decided. "Show me your lunch! If you're a real Osakan, you've gotta have takoyaki in there!"

"Ju-just b'cause Ah'm Osakan?" Ayuma asked. Tomo leaned in eagerly, causing her to grow uncomfortable. Deciding she might as well do what was expected, she swatted Tomo with the back of her hand while saying, "Whut yew mean?"

Instantly, Tomo flashed a thumbs-up and declared, "You passed, Osaka!" Turning to the class she called out, hey, everybody, Ayumu's new name is Osaka, okay?"

Osaka watched in mounting horror as each new person decided to accept the nickname. Ayumu Kasuga was, as far as the class was concerned, no more.

HR.

"I got out of there." Ryoga muttered, his eyes haunted with the thought of being crammed into a bag full of someone's clothes for an entire airplane flight. He had almost died on the trip due to the fact that the baggage section of the plane wasn't pressurized, and once he'd gotten back on the ground, he'd burst out of the suitcase as quickly as he could, incidentally almost giving the baggage handlers at Narita heart attacks.

Now, though, he was free, and he would never complain about his slow traveling pace again, or get on an airplane, for that matter. Grumbling, he reached out and poked at the pot he'd found on the ground nearby, likely the remnants of someone else's camping trip, as it bubbled with a large amount of foraged ingredients that he'd picked up. In the years since Nerima, he'd picked up enough of Mousse's hidden weapons to hide his clothes, but not an entire pack, and he did this on a semi-regular basis.

"Damn it Ranma, why can't I find you?" he raged, jumping to his feet, and incidentally bringing the pot he had been stirring with him, before raising his free hand to shake it at the heavens.

"Stop whining, Pig Boy. You've found me," a familiar, and very irritating, voice said from behind him.

"Huh?" Ryoga asked, stupidly, looking around to see that Ranma was standing next to a tree nearby, wearing a set of old and dirt smudged clothes. "How did you get out here?" he asked.

"Ryoga, we're in my back yard." Ranma returned, evenly.

"Oh..." the lost boy said, and then looked past the redhead to see the back of a small house. "You mean... I made it?"

"Looks that way, P-chan." Ranma said. "Why, you wanted to come see me?"

Ryoga's formerly depressed expression split into a wide, fang baring smirk. "Yeah, sorry I didn't say 'prepare to die!' but I'm a little out of practice."

Ranma chuckled. "I've got some time to spar, if that's what you want," she offered, then noticed the pot he was still clutching in his off-hand. "Um, what's in that thing?"

"Oh, um, lunch." Ryoga returned.

"Great, I don't have to make it," Ranma said, grabbing the pot from his hands and heading for the back door, and into the kitchen. The lost boy followed behind like a lost puppy, making very sure that he wasn't going to wander off again, and watched as she turned one of the burners up to the right level, setting the pot to simmer on it.

"C'mon, I've been dying for a proper spar for months, lunch can wait," Ranma grinned, and the lost boy nodded back.

"So, do you have a Dojo here or something?" he asked, curiously.

"Nah, there's a park down the block." Ranma returned, hanging her apron on a hook as the two exited the house and the door swung shut behind them.

HR.

"I still say that was a cheap trick!" Ryoga exclaimed, as the two re-entered the Kuonji residence an hour and a half later.

"Yeah, moving so that your bandannas shredded the front of my clothes was completely intentional." Ranma returned, sarcastically.

"Aha, I knew it!" the lost boy exclaimed, the sarcasm flying right over his head, as per usual.

Ranma slapped her forehead with one hand, and then shook her head slowly. "Ryoga, I thought you were married? What's with the nosebleed thing, still?" she asked, and then headed for the stairs to get a fresh change of clothes.

Ryoga sighed, slumping down on a kitchen chair, and continued the conversation by yelling, "I don't know, it's just one of those things you never get over, I guess... but you're still cheap for taking advantage of it!"

"Fine, we'll have a rematch later, just stop complaining!" Ranma returned, digging through her dresser to find some new clothes. "Let's just eat lunch and I'll drive you home."

"I dunno," Ryoga said, apprehensively. "Do you... think Ino will have calmed down by now?"

Ranma snickered as she started down the stairs, now wearing one of her old blue Chinese shirts and a set of black slacks. "The mighty Hibiki, brought low by a sixteen-year-old girl, for shame!" she said, effecting an over-dramatic tone.

"Aw, shut up." Ryoga returned, tossing a hardened bandanna at Ranma's head, which she neatly plucked out of the air.

"Hey, not in the house!" she rebuked.

"You know, you sound just like my wife," Ryoga grumbled, sourly.

Ranma just snorted, walking past the lost boy and up to the stove, where the wild stuff soup was still waiting. "You didn't put any poisonous stuff in here this time, right?" she demanded.

"No, I double checked everything before I added it, just some mushrooms, lentils and a rabbit I caught," he returned.

Ranma nodded, and then scooped up a large cooking spoon full of the soup, blowing on it for a moment before putting it in her mouth. She swallowed the broth and chewed thoughtfully for a moment, paying no attention to the fact that it was still hot enough to cause first degree burns in anyone who hadn't eaten the phoenix pill. "Yeah, this is pretty good, P..." she started, before she started to feel a little dizzy.

"Oh crap," Ryoga moaned, as he saw Ranma abruptly beginning to diminish in height. She'd gone from her respectable 5'4", down to her old 4'11" and even a bit beyond. The spoon clattered from the redhead's fingers as it abruptly seemed to get larger in them, and she turned, catching herself on her suddenly too large pants and falling to the floor with an uncoordinated "oof."

Pulling down the crumpled collar of her shirt so that she could see over it, the diminutive red headed form of Ranma Kuonji gave Ryoga a death glare. "Checked all the ingredients, eh?" she said, in a deadpan tone.

END.

Osaka: Wow, this new school sure is strange. Well, ah guess they're all right, most of 'em, but ah don't know about this Osaka thing. Ah mean, Ah'm not really that bad, am I?

Oh no, even the narration's callin me Osaka. Well, ah guess ah gotta live with it.

Tune in next time for some more weird stuff, ah hope it'll be interestin.


	5. Chapter 5: Nyamo is Confused

Weebee here, posting from my secret dognapping bunker somewhere in Notspain. I was kinda hoping all the ganado would keep Jonakhensu's mob away, but then Leon and Ada came and killed 'em all.

Anyhow, here's the next chapter. Kind of annoying that we're posting too quickly to have good author's notes, but I suppose it balances out.

Please enjoy, and don't forget to tell us how the chapter was!

Chapter 5: Nyamo is Confused.

"Come on, it was an accident, I... Ow!" Ryoga yelped, as a twelve year old girl, now clad in one of Sakaki's old uniforms, as it was all that would fit her, somehow managed to hurt him with a frying pan upside the head.

"Yeah, I know. You're too dense to plot something like this, but beating on you is therapeutic," the girl replied, placing the frying pan back onto the counter and sighing. "So, now what do I do?"

Ryoga didn't speak, deciding to keep a low profile to avoid more wrath, as she pondered what to do. Since he'd gathered his ingredients right before throwing them into the cooking pot, he had no more mushrooms to use to reverse the effect, and she knew of no other way to do so. "Ryoga, you think you could find those things again?"

"Um, I might." The lost boy returned, hesitantly, though he hadn't really noticed when he'd found them this time. Seeing Ranma's steady gaze on him, he sighed. "I'm going to be walking for a while, aren't I?"

The girl nodded, tersely, still maintaining her glare. It was very intimidating to Ryoga, who knew what Ranma could do when annoyed, but he wasn't about to tell her that it was also insanely cute, especially when she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Can we at least call Akari? I promised her I'd get a drive back once I got here," the bandanna clad man asked, and Ranma nodded, walking over to the phone on the wall and reaching up to grab it.

Hitting one of the speed dials, she listened to it ring for a moment before a click was heard. "Hello?" Akari's voice came on the other end.

"Hey, Akari?" Ranma asked, just to be sure. "This is Ranma."

"Ranma?" The woman asked, "What happened to your voice? It sounds higher than usual."

The little redhead gave a long, irritated sigh. "Yeah, that's why I called, your husband accidentally cooked up some mushrooms that alter a person's age when they eat them."

Akari gasped. "Is Ryoga-chan all right?" she asked, hurriedly.

"Yeah," Ranma said, wanting to be annoyed that she didn't ask about the red haired girl's own condition, but she understood the pig farmer's concern. "I was the only one exposed. That's why my voice is so odd, I look around eleven or twelve."

"Oh, my!" the pink and brown haired woman exclaimed, and Ranma had to wonder if she'd been around the eldest Tendo sister too much recently. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Yeah, well Ryoga's kindly offered to go get me the antidote to the mushrooms, so he's going to be gone for a while," Ranma returned, and sent a glare at the lost boy, who nodded back rapidly.

"Oh, I see..." Akari said, sounding disappointed. "We were hoping to see him soon, but I understand why he has to do this."

"Um," Ranma said, feeling bad about causing a girl to be depressed, even after technically being one all the time for many years. "I can get him back to say goodbye before he goes off, if you'd like."

"Oh yes, thank you!" Akari said, brightly. "Ino-chan's wanted to talk to him."

"All right, I'll get him there tomorrow," the red haired girl said, smiling. "It's Sakaki's day off, and she's got her learner's permit. I doubt they'd let me drive at the moment."

"Oh, Ino will really like to talk to Sakaki again." Akari said, "We'll see you then. Good bye."

"Good bye," Ranma returned, and hung up.

Behind her, Ryoga tentatively asked, "So, how did she sound?"

Ranma shrugged. "I dunno, but if I were using the Kasumi scale of disapproval, I'd guess you'd be sleeping on the couch even if you were home right now," she said, actually having a little sympathy for her old rival amidst the annoyance.

"Yeah, I thought so," Ryoga returned, sighing softly.

Ranma was about to respond to him, when she heard the front door open and Sakaki's soft call of "I'm home!" Echoed through the hall.

"Welcome home!" She called back, almost automatically, and then gulped as she realized what was going to happen next. Sure enough, as the teenager stepped through the door into the kitchen, her eyes widened, and a small blush came across her face.

"H... Hello little girl, why are you here?" Sakaki asked, looking at Ranma in confusion, and bending down so that the two could be eye to eye. "Are you in one of mom's self-defense classes?"

Ranma's eyebrow twitched, and she could hear Ryoga trying to repress a snicker nearby. "Sakaki, look a little harder," she ordered, irritably.

"You know my..." the black haired girl asked, but as she did so she followed the girl's request. She was about 4'6", wearing one of Sakaki's own old school uniforms. She had bright red hair, which was rather uncommon in Japan, cut loosely to frame her face. As Sakaki got to the blue eyes, her mouth fell open. "...Mom?" She asked, slowly.

The girl nodded.

"How?" Was Sakaki's only question, as she stood and walked around the girl, trying to see if someone was trying to play a trick on her. Sure enough, both her sight and the small amount of aura sensitivity she'd gained through meditation with her mother told her that there was a little girl in front of her, though she glowed with a lot more power than she should.

"The idiot over there got a hold of some magic mushrooms," Ranma explained, gesturing to Ryoga.

Turning to follow the younger girl's pointing finger, Sakaki blinked again. "Oh, Hello uncle Ryoga, I didn't see you there."

"Just ignore me," Ryoga returned, laughing nervously. Much to his annoyance, Sakaki nodded, turning back to her youthened mother.

"This happened through mushrooms?" she asked, curiously.

"Yeah, Ryoga's going to get more to turn me back, So I should be normal again... eventually," Ranma muttered, irritably.

"Turn you... back," Sakaki murmured, a fantasy of her playing and doing other cute things with the little redhead in front of her dissolving. Then again, she could see why Ranma would want to get back to normal, as even she wouldn't give up her age for cuteness... probably.

Noticing the way Sakaki was looking at her, Ranma cleared her throat nervously. "Well, um, we aren't eating that for lunch," she muttered, walking over and picking up the soup pot off of the burner before casually dumping its contents into the garbage. "I'm going to head over to the Neko-Hanten for some fast food, and to talk to Cologne. Are you two coming?"

Sakaki shook her head. "Literature homework," she said simply, pointing to her backpack.

"I think I'll stay here, too," Ryoga said, rubbing at his head where he knew Cologne's staff would impact. Ranma nodded, and headed for the door.

HR.

Hinako skipped into the Neko-Hanten, having decided on ramen for the night's meal. As usual, she had the appearance of a fourteen-year-old girl, which drew a fair amount of attention from some of the customers. Though she was unaware of it, these men were noted by the staff and would be taken care of as needed. After finding a table, she looked over the menu, having never eaten here before. Of course, there had been another restaurant in Nerima with the same name, but what were the chances of them actually being the same?

"Shampoo take order, yes?" a purple haired woman asked, having come up next to Hinako at some point without her noticing.

"The pork ramen sounds good," Hinako stated. "I think I'll take that."

"Pork ramen is too too good choice," the purple haired Amazon agreed. "Be right out." Once the order was made, she disappeared back into the chaos of the restaurant.

"She looked familiar," Hinako mused, looking around more intently. When she saw the long haired man with excessively large glasses who brought out one of the meals, she realized that this must be the same restaurant as the one that had been in Nerima, which begged the question, why had they moved? Hinako doubted she could just asked, and instead shelved the thought for later consideration. Or she could just blame Saotome. That always worked.

"Here is food," Shampoo chirped as she lowered a steaming bowl of noodles onto the table and handed Hinako a set of chopsticks.

She was about half way through what was definitely some of the best ramen she had ever eaten when the door burst open and a diminutive redhead skidded in, barging into the kitchen. Even with the girl wearing a school uniform, Hinako was used enough to both age changes and the disguises one of her old students used with some frequency. "Saotome," she growled out. "You may have gotten the better of me in our last meeting, but now the tables have turned. Oh how they have turned. Ohohohoho!"

"Please note the signs," the bored looking man in white robes and glasses stated, pointing off to the side. On the wall were hung three signs. 'No Fighting,' 'No cursing, This means you, Herb' and "No evil and/or maniacal laughter."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Hinako replied, somewhat sheepishly, before waiting patiently for Ranma to return to the main restaurant. Then, she would pounce. "Ohoh...urk." She stopped herself just in time, as she noticed the white robed man turning to her again, several knives popping out of the sleeve of his robe.

"Mousse, no threaten customers!" Shampoo's voice came from the counter, and the man slumped forward slightly, reluctantly putting the knives away.

HR.

Cologne was disturbed from her rather peaceful night of cooking and humming to herself as a red and blue blur burst through the doors to the kitchen of the Neko-Hanten. Turning, she was about to rebuke Shampoo for opening the door so violently, when she noticed who it actually was. "Hmm, Honored Matriarch, that's a new look for you, isn't it?" she asked, grinning evilly.

Ranma's eyebrow twitched violently. "Thanks a lot, Ol' Ghoul," she grumbled. "Ryoga showed up with his damned mushrooms again. Had a whole soup pot full of 'em, and I was dumb enough to eat it without checking."

"Ah, I see," Cologne returned. "As I said then, there is very little I can do to help with such a situation. I trust that is why you are here?"

Ranma nodded.

"Again, I am afraid I have no advice for you," Cologne continued, then lashed out with her staff, catching herself for a brief moment on the stove top, and hitting Ranma over the head, hard.

"Hey, what'd ya do that for?" Ranma complained, rubbing at the bump. The worst part was that it really HURT a lot more than it ever had, as she'd gotten a lot tougher as she'd gotten older.

"You didn't save me any," Cologne accused, almost seeming to pout.

"That's really disturbing," Ranma opined, getting another whack to the head for her troubles. "I guess now isn't the best time to say I came to order some food, too?" She asked.

"Help me make the order and you get a discount," Cologne said, returning to her less irritated, more amused state.

"I guess I've got to get used to cooking like this at some point." Ranma agreed, nodding and leaping up to the counter to pull down a bag of noodles.

HR.

Hinako had been waiting a good twenty minutes for her favorite delinquent to make her way out of the kitchen. She had finished her noodles some time ago and was beginning to get bored. Such was the fate of the vindictive teenaged principal. Finally, she saw movement from the kitchen. There was her quarry, carrying a number of carry out bowls. The redhead brushed past her and quickly exited the restaurant. Not having a moment to waste, Hinako slammed money onto the table, glad that she had already gotten the bill, and rushed out of the building, breaking into a sprint as soon as she was outside.

"Saotome! Get back here!" she screamed. Ranma kept jogging, not really pulling ahead, but not allowing Hinako to gain any ground, either. She also appeared to have not noticed at all. Hinako growled, and considered pulling out a coin, but decided it would take too long. There was only one thing left to do. Pouring on the steam, she managed to gain on the redhead, even if it was causing her muscles to burn. Taking as deep of a breath as she could while running full out, she screamed, "Saotome, stop!"

Ranma must have heard her because she slowed down and came to a stop under a street light. "Hinako-sensei? What are you doing out here?" Ranma asked. "And why are you so out of breath?"

"I'm here, huff, to talk to you, huff, about your schooling," Hinako declared, through her labored breathing.

"Schooling?" Ranma asked. "But I graduated years ago."

"Yes, but young girls like you and... what was her name..." Hinako stopped, running out of steam for a moment.

""Sakaki," Ranma returned, suddenly realizing where this was going and not liking it.

"Yes, Sakaki. Two girls like you can't live alone, and unless I were able to keep tabs on both of you, why, I couldn't live with myself. What if something happened?" Hinako said, in a falsely innocent voice.

Ranma's eyes widened. "You aren't saying..." she asked, knowing that it would likely take Ryoga a long time to find the mushrooms, and Hinako could make things difficult in the meantime.

"I'm not saying anything, student!" Hinako replied, brightly.

"I hate you," Ranma grumbled quietly. "Fine, I'll play your little game, but we'll see who has the last laugh."

"Oh, I'm sure this'll be a lovely year," Hinako said, smiling slightly too widely. "Now, remember to come to my office early on Monday to pick up your uniform."

"Uniform?" Ranma protested immediately. "Why do I need a uniform? I didn't wear one last time."

"You were also usually male then," Hinako added. "Besides, what are you wearing now?"

"Oh, this? It's just one of Sakaki's old uni-forms..." Ranma trailed off, knowing that she was beat.

"Exactly," Hinako said with complete finality. "Be in my office Monday morning."

"Fine," Ranma spat out. "Is there anything else, or can I get the food back to my house before it gets any colder?"

"Nope, I'm good," Hinako chirped before she turned and skipped away.

Muttering angrily to herself, Ranma turned and continued on her way.

HR.

Sakaki looked to the side for a moment, only mildly concerned about the surreal scene that was sitting in her passenger seat. Well, it wasn't really all that bad, a young girl sitting on a pig, but when one took into consideration that the girl was her mother and the pig her uncle it got a little more concern worthy.

"Turn left here, right?" She asked, quietly, and got a short nod from her mother. She wasn't sure why, but the other had seemed a lot more irritated with her situation after she'd returned from the Neko-Hanten than she had when she'd left.

The black haired girl supposed that it may have had something to do with what Cologne had told her, but hadn't really wanted to ask, especially since Ranma had dragged Ryoga out to the park afterward, and from how they'd looked when they'd come home, the much larger man had gotten off worse in the spar they'd had.

As she returned her focus to the road, she really appreciated the view of the open fields that stretched before her. She really loved nature, and in the middle of Tokyo it was kind of hard to find views that looked like this. "Akari's place is about eight kilometers ahead." Ranma proclaimed, and got an irritated snort from the pig she was sitting on. "Damn it Ryoga, if we'd gone the way you wanted, we'd be in Nerima by now."

The ride passed for the next several minutes in silence, neither of the two who were capable of talking having much to say, as was usual in their household. Actually, Ranma did have something she probably should tell Sakaki, but she was a little too embarrassed to admit that she'd been pressured into agreeing to re-enroll in high school.

Several minutes later, the small car pulled up in front of a farm house, where Akari was waiting with her arms held in front of her chest. As they got out, the woman's eyes widened at seeing Ranma, who had to jump down off of the pig to get to the ground. "Oh, that is serious," she finally said, after taking a few seconds to regain her composure. "You are a rather cute little girl, though."

Ranma's eyebrow twitched again. It had been doing that a lot over the past few days. "Gee, thanks," she muttered, and pulled Ryoga out of the car by his bandanna. "Got pig boy here for you."

Akari nodded, grabbing the pig's bandanna and starting to lead it towards the house. "Come on, Ryoga-chan, we've got to get you some hot water. I've been lonely for the past month."

"I'm never going to understand those two." Ranma muttered, looking after them with a confused and somewhat disturbed expression. "I guess we can go home now." She finally decided, as it appeared that the Hibikis weren't coming back.

Sakaki nodded and the two turned, about to return to the car, when a voice called out from nearby, "Sakaki Kuonji, prepare to die!"

They both turned, noting a girl with dirty looking pink hair, a scuffed school uniform and a moderately sized pack standing with her finger dramatically pointed at the older of the two.

"Ino, why do you keep doing that?" Sakaki groaned, reaching up to rub at her forehead. The one time she'd taken the threat seriously and thrown the other girl into a wall, Uncle Ryoga hadn't stopped glaring at her for a week.

"I told you, dad said that's how you're supposed to challenge your rivals!" Ino said, running up to the taller girl.

"We're rivals?" Sakaki deadpanned, before sighing. "Never mind, I'm leaving now anyways."

"Not before we compare school scores, you're not!" Ino said. "I got a really high one last year, AND I grew a full inch!"

Ranma casually leaned against the car's door, for once perfectly willing to let a confrontation go by without her being a part of it.

"I got an eighty nine." Sakaki said, not really wanting to brag about the mark, but her mother had always insisted that you never turn down a challenge if there was nothing more important to do, even one as stupid as this.

"Eigh... eighty nine?" Ino stammered. "And you grew, too, didn't you?"

"A couple of inches." Sakaki confirmed, looking down in shame.

"Argh! I've been defeated again, but I'll be back!" Ino proclaimed, posing dramatically as a setting sun seemed to appear behind her, in spite of the fact that it was early afternoon.

"Um, all right." Sakaki returned, uncertainly, a drop of sweat rolling down the back of her head as the other girl ran off towards the house. When several more minutes passed without anything happening, she spoke again. "Can we go now?"

Ranma nodded.

HR.

"Hmm," Nyamo observed, reading over a set of papers that had been placed on her desk. "This has to be the weirdest... Hey Yukari, take a look at this."

"Aw, come on Nyamo, it's too early for me to think!" Yukari-Sensei complained, taking a long sip of her coffee.

"No, seriously, look at this." Nyamo ordered, pushing a paper under the other woman's nose.

"It looks like a student transcript." Yukari observed, "Why do I care?"

"Her middle school graduation date is in 1980, Yukari," Nyamo said, frustrated. "You're really out of it today, aren't you?"

"Damned Hellsing marathon," Yukari-Sensei groaned.

Nyamo sighed. "It was probably a clerical error," she reassured herself, before picking up her papers and putting them in her bag. "Class is starting in five minutes, by the way."

"Mmhmm." Yukari said, from where she was laying on her Teacher's English textbook.

HR.

"Hey, she looks kind of young, doesn't she?" One student asked another, as Kurosawa-Sensei stood at the front of the class with a short, red haired girl.

"Looks kinda mean, too," another student observed, as the new girl's irritated scowl seemed to sweep the room.

"Hey, she's got your haircut, Kagura, a complete mess," one of the girls continued, causing another who was sitting at the back of the room to finally look up from her resolute gaze out the window.

"Hmm?" Kagura asked, looking forward to see what everyone was talking about. Her eyebrow rose a little as she saw the much younger girl. "Hey!" she called, causing everyone to look at her. "Are you another prodigy like Chiyo from class 3-1?"

The girl looked over at her, and was about to respond, when Kurosawa-Sensei cleared her throat. "I was about to introduce our new student," She rebuked gently. "This is Ranma Kuonji, and she will be joining us for the rest of the year. She apparently came to us from Furinkan high school." The notice attached to the girl's file claimed that she'd been transferred due to delinquency, but she didn't want to announce that to the class. "How would you like to tell the class something about yourself, Kuonji-san?"

The girl stepped forward, and nodded to the class. "I'm older than I look," she started, deciding that it would be stupid to try and get them to believe that she was over thirty, but still wanting to make it somewhat clear. "I really don't like cats, and I'm a martial artist."

Kagura's head rose a little more at this, her interest obvious, but the girl didn't seem to want to say anything else. "That's very good, Kuonji-san, could you please take a seat?" The teacher said, gesturing to several empty desks that were scattered around the room.

Ranma nodded, selecting the one closest to the back of the room, and slumping down at her desk to plot revenge on a certain principal. This, she decided, was going to be a fantastically boring time.

END.

Tomo: Hey! You two! Why wasn't I in this chapter?

Yomi: Yeah, none of us were in it. It was all Sakaki and this Ranma person.

Kaorin: I don't mind!

Others: Shut up!

Tomo: Next chapter had better have more of us, or I'll... I'll...

Osaka: Be annoyed?

Tomo: Yeah, I'll be annoyed! So tune in next time, when there had better be a whole lot more of me!

Yomi: You mean us, don't you?

Tomo: Yeah! of course!


	6. Chapter 6: Kagura Fights Back

As ordered by the Great and All Powerful Lady Tomo...

Tomo! Give me the microphone back! As I was saying, there are more Azumanga Daioh characters in this chapter. We hope you enjoy and not go insane.

Chapter 6: Kagura Fights Back.

As the students were filing out of the classroom for lunch, Nyamo called, "Kuonji-san, please stay for a moment. There were some irregularities in your transcript that I would like to discuss."

Ranma stopped right in the doorway and sighed. "Sure thing, Sensei." She stepped aside and allowed the remainder of the students to pass before turning to her new teacher. "What's up?"

"Disregarding the clerical error regarding your graduation from junior high school," The teacher began, "it says that you were transferred due to delinquency. That should be impossible, as this school screens all perspective students to provide the best learning environment possible."

"Huh, I guess Hinako-sensei removed a few papers," Ranma replied, scratching the back of her neck. "She doesn't really like me, so she's making me come here."

"Uh-huh, and why does our principal dislike you so much?" Nyamo asked, beginning to have a sinking feeling in her gut.

Ranma laughed nervously and said, "I didn't follow some of the school rules. But I had good reasons!"

"And what reason could possibly be good enough to justify breaking the rules?" Nyamo demanded.

Ranma once again rubbed the back of her neck. "Well, the principal was insane and liked to make up stupid rules. Hinako-sensei was hired to keep us martial artists 'in line.' She's been calling me a delinquent since. Hell, if it weren't for her, I wouldn't even be here."

"If you don't mind me asking," Nyamo began, "if you dislike school so much, why don't you just leave?"

"Hinako," Ranma growled. "Look, I'm going to miss lunch. Can I get going now?"

"Um, sure," the older woman said, still working through everything the redhead had explained. If what she said was true, then something was very wrong. Hinako had been the principal here for five years, so, for what Ranma had said to be true, she would have had to graduate from Jr. High at six. The teacher groaned, resting her head against her desk. She knew, with full certainty that this was her punishment for tackling the principal four weeks before.

HR.

As Ranma stepped out of the classroom to head for the cafeteria, making lunch when almost a foot shorter than one is used to is surprisingly difficult, and Sakaki had overslept again, so both would need to buy their lunches, she was stopped by a girl slightly shorter than her proper form. The girl smiled and held out a hand. "Hey, I'm Kagura, so, how do you like this place so far? I'm not so sure about the other teachers, but Kurosawa-sensei is great. She's the coach for the swim team. So, anyway, how did you get so strong at your age?"

"I'm not really sure what you're talking about," Ranma replied, latching on to the one question out of those asked that actually interested her as she started towards where she could smell the cafeteria food cooking, Kagura following. "I mean, it's not like you've seen me fight before, right?"

"Well, yeah, but you look really strong," Kagura persisted.

The little redhead looked down at herself, and then back up at Kagura incredulously. "Riiight." She said, slowly.

"Okay," Kagura relented, slightly, "maybe not physically, but I can still see how strong you really are."

Ranma quirked an eyebrow. "And how do you manage that?"

"Well, please don't laugh," Kagura said, "but I've been able to see how strong someone is from how brightly they glow and how little the light swirls."

"You can see auras?" Ranma asked.

"Is that what those are?" the brown haired teen asked. "I've been seeing them for as long as I can remember, but no one ever believed me."

Ranma winced. Being able to see auras and unable to turn off the ability? It would probably give her a huge migraine within the first week, especially with all of the stupidly powerful people she hung around with.

"Oh man," Kagura groaned as they arrived in the cafeteria. "I hate trying to get food from here. It takes forever to get past the crowds."

Ranma smirked cockily and asked, "What were you going to have?"

"Oh, I was planning on some curry bread today," Kagura replied. "Why?"

"I'll get it!"

HR.

Chiyo walked tentatively up to the desk near the window where Sakaki sat, sketching in her assignment notebook during the lunch break. "Excuse me, Sakaki-san?" she asked.

"Yes?" Sakaki asked, looking up from her sketching.

"I was just wondering," the younger girl started. "You looked so lonely over here, and it's half way through lunch. Would you like to eat lunch with us?" She gestured behind her, where Tomo, Yomi and Osaka were eating and chatting.

"Hmm?" the taller girl asked, looking up to the clock at the front of the room. Truthfully, she'd zoned out some time after Yukari-sensei had handed out the assignments, and hadn't realized how late it was. "Oh, that's fine, Chiyo-chan. I have to go buy my lunch today." She couldn't really blame her mother for being a little lax in preparing the food this morning, but she had seen the school's cafeteria, and didn't look forward to venturing inside.

"Oh," Chiyo said, downcast. "I would offer you some of mine, but Tomo-san ate it all."

The younger girl looked almost ready to cry, as she wasn't able to help out her new friend, but Sakaki was quick to reassure her. "Don't worry about it, I'll be fine." She said, before getting up and starting for the door. "I'll see you after lunch, all right?"

Chiyo nodded happily as the dark haired girl exited the room, heading down the almost empty halls towards the lion's den. She'd always had a deep mistrust of cafeterias, ever since Uncle Ryoga had told her horror stories about the one he'd gone to when he was a child, but she supposed there was no help for it.

As she entered the large room full of swarming students from all years, Sakaki caught a glimpse of a blur of red and blue out of the corner of her eye. Moving to track it, she blinked rapidly several times, and moved one hand over to the other arm to pinch it, hard.

Still, the image of her mother bouncing over people's heads with a tray full of curry bread persisted.

HR.

Ranma returned to a very surprised Kagura at the door, landing easily from yet another leap with the tray balanced in one hand. "Got it," she said, cheerfully.

The taller girl gaped for a moment, and then reached out to take a piece of bread off of the tray, nibbling at it. It was definitely real. "How did you do that?" she demanded, excitedly.

Ranma shrugged. "I've been able to do it for a long time, actually," she explained, as if there was nothing unusual about being able to jump off of people's heads without hurting them, and even without them noticing.

"That was pretty cool," Kagura admitted, impressed. As she was about to ask something else, a second voice cut in on their conversation.

"Mother?" It was Sakaki, and her facial expression was locked somewhere between embarrassment and surprise, as if she couldn't decide which she was feeling more of at the moment. "Why are you here?"

"Mother?" Kagura muttered, but was ignored by the other two. She recognized the girl who had just walked up as a member of Yukari-sensei's class, one of their better athletes from what she'd heard and seen, and now that she thought about it her last name had been Kuonji. Maybe they were sisters, and the older one had a really strange nickname for the younger?

"Um, hey, Sakaki-chan." Ranma said, scratching the back of her neck nervously. "As for why I'm here, it's kinda a long story."

"I don't want to interrupt you two or anything," Kagura said, doing just that, "but shouldn't we get out of the way of the door and find a seat?"

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea," Ranma agreed, and the three started off, though Sakaki was giving her mother very odd looks as they went.

As they found a seat near the corner of the room, Sakaki returned her impassive gaze to Ranma. "Well?" she asked, calmly.

"I really wish you weren't better at that look than I am," Ranma grumbled, and then her shoulders slumped. "Hinako-sensei found out about the whole mushroom thing and basically blackmailed me into putting myself back under her thumb."

"Wait, mushroom thing?" Kagura asked, now completely confused. "What's going on here?"

Sakaki weighed the consequences of telling Kagura all about what had happened to Ranma, or making up a cover story. She knew that this would normally be the redhead's decision, but she'd seen her mother try to lie once. It hadn't been pretty, or convincing, though it had been a boon that the officer had thought her amusing, and let them off with a warning.

Shrugging, she decided to tell the truth. After all, the other girl seemed nice enough, especially since she had managed to hang around her mother without a death threat being issued.

"So yeah, I'm stuck as a kid until Ryoga finds more mushrooms," Ranma finished off her explanation, which she'd been giving while Sakaki deliberated.

"That's... the weirdest thing I've ever heard," Kagura decided. "I'm not sure if I believe it, but it would explain your glow."

"Glow?" Sakaki asked, one eyebrow raised.

"I'll explain later." Ranma returned. "For now, I'm hungry." Her stomach growled right after that, causing her to smile sheepishly.

Kagura nodded. "Yeah, we've only got ten minutes left," she agreed, picking up a piece of bread and taking a big, satisfied bite.

Sakaki just sighed resignedly, swiping a piece of her own.

HR

On the sports field, the girls of class 3-1 were playing volleyball while the boys ran track. At least, there was a ball and net involved. The playing part was rather debatable. While they had broken up into teams, the actual game was stalling with each serve.

"All right!" Tomo yelled as she set up. "Here it comes!" The serve was very low and beaned Chiyo-chan in the back of the head, knocking her over. "Sorry about that, Chiyo-chan," she called out happily. "Right! This time for sure!"

"You don't get to say that!" Yomi shouted. "And you don't get to serve again."

A while later, another serve, from the other side of the net, came flying directly at Chiyo-chan and bounced off her head. This set the ball up perfectly for Yomi to pass it back over the net.

"Hey Chiyo-chan, great work!" Tomo yelled, as the younger girl lay twitching on the ground.

"Idiot!" Yomi yelled as she dropped next to Chiyo-chan to check on her. "She could have been hurt!"

Struggling to her feet and swaying dangerously, the younger girl declared, "I can keep playing!" She then fell over backwards.

"Okay..." Nyamo said from the sidelines, "Let's... practice our passing drills or something." After saying that, she muttered, "Something that won't get someone killed." At a normal volume, she concluded, "All right, girls, break into pairs while I get more balls for you."

As the teacher went to the supply hut, the girls split into their groups. Tomo refused to let Yomi partner with anyone other than her, Osaka grabbed Chiyo-chan, and the other girls paired up. Once the dust had settled, only Sakaki was left without a partner.

"Here you go, girls," Nyamo called as she passed out the balls. Once they received one, each group began to practice.

"Hey, not so hard this time, all right?" Yomi asked nervously, as Tomo squared off across from her.

"Wimp," the other girl replied, loudly.

"No, if I break my glasses again my parents will kill me," the brown haired girl explained, only to get a long, incredulous look from her best friend. "Just throw the ball," she sighed.

"Okay, here it comes!" Tomo said, spiking the ball as hard as she could at her friend. Yomi, of course, had seen this coming and dove to the side, slapping at the projectile with her left hand. The appendage stung as though someone had whipped her, but she did manage to send the ball spiraling off on a random trajectory... which landed it smack into Chiyo-chan's back, just as a serve from her own partner, Osaka, hit her in the face.

"Oh, I'm really sorry about that, Chiyo-chan!" the brown haired girl exclaimed, running over and scooping up the ball.

"It's fine," Chiyo said, laying on the grass and staring up at the clouds. "I think I'll stay here for a while, though, if that's okay."

"Hey, that's a good idea, Ah think I'll join ya!" Osaka decided, flopping down next to her former passing partner.

"Okay, here we go..." Yomi said, with trepidation, as she returned to her place in front of Tomo. The other girl was rocking back and forth, waiting for the serve impatiently. "Um, yeah... Here we go," Yomi said again, slightly intimidated by her friend's wide grin.

She took a moment to look around, to put off the inevitable throw and face shattering return from the black haired girl, and blinked as she saw something completely random out of the corner of her eye. "Hey Tomo, do you see that?" she asked, slowly.

"Hmm? What?" The overly excited girl replied, following Yomi's gaze across the field, where Sakaki was standing, by herself, with a ball in her hands. As she was about to ask what was so special about the sight, the taller girl tossed the ball into the air, and when it descended she proceeded to use an underhand smash to send it back up, running several feet to the left and repeating the process. "Wow, that's kind of neat!" Tomo observed. "Let me try it!"

"Um, I don't know if that's such a good idea," Yomi opined, "Kurosawa-sensei is going over to her. She might be getting in trouble."

"Who cares? Gimme the ball!" Tomo said, rushing forward and grabbing said sports equipment. Tossing it up just the way Sakaki had, she prepared for the first serve, but misjudged it, the ball smacking unimpeded into her face. "Ouch," she groaned.

HR.

Nyamo couldn't help but be impressed with what the student in front of her was doing. Still, it was technically against the instructions she'd given, so she had to at least try to get her back on track. "Excuse me," she started, then looked down at the clipboard she was carrying in her off-hand, "Ku... Kuonji-san?" she stuttered, recognizing the student's last name.

"Hmm?" Sakaki asked, turning towards the teacher and reaching up to catch the ball she'd been practicing with.

"Why aren't you practicing with a partner?" the older woman asked, sternly.

"The class has an odd number of students," Sakaki returned. "One girl was off sick after lunch."

"Hmm." The teacher returned, looking around to note that, though some of the groups were laying around or taking breaks, the girls had, indeed, been divided into groups with no other stragglers. She looked over to where the boys were now practicing the long jump, considering assigning Sakaki to join them, but shook her head. She was getting a little jumpy herself from not really doing anything, so, "How would you like to practice passing with me?" she offered, smiling.

"That will be fine," Sakaki replied, nodding and handing the teacher the ball.

"Are you ready?" Nyamo asked, preparing to serve.

Sakaki nodded, and as the older woman threw the ball, she moved.

HR.

Yukari walked into the teacher's lounge at the end of the day, preparatory to going home and maybe bar hopping a bit later, to see a sight that she never thought she'd see. Nyamo was there, passed out in her chair and snoring loudly. The brown haired woman stopped for a moment, and as she stood there, an evil smile spread over her face. Creeping forward slowly, she got to the edge of her best friend's chair. "Hey, caught ya sleeping!" she yelled, loudly.

"Gyaa!" Nyamo exclaimed, jumping in startlement before turning a glare on Yukari.

"Hey, so first you tackle the principal and now you're sleeping at your desk?" the English teacher asked. "Tsk, Tsk, don't you remember all of those speeches you made about responsibility?"

Nyamo glared. "That student of yours, she's not human," she complained.

"Yeah, Tomo-chan's a little weird, isn't she?" Yukari agreed.

"Not her, the other one," Nyamo groaned. "Sakaki Kuonji, I think her name is. Same family name as that strange girl with the screwed up transcript."

"Sakaki gave you trouble?" Yukari asked, actually confused. "She's always one of the best students in my class."

"Oh, she's a good student, all right," Nyamo returned. "Good enough to completely exhaust me in an impromptu game of volleyball."

"Ohohohoho! The mighty Nyamo, felled by a fifteen year old!" Yukari cackled, evilly.

"Shut up, you," Nyamo returned, letting her head fall forward onto her desk. "Let me get some sleep."

"Yes, Ma'am!" Yukari returned, and turned to pick up her things before leaving, snickering.

HR.

"Are you sure you have everything, Ryoga-kun?" Akari asked, as she and her husband stood in front of the door, the latter decked out in his full hiking outfit. Granted, the huge pack seemed to be bulging more than usual with supplies, but that only made sense when you were planning on several months of hiking.

"Hmm, I'm pretty sure I've got it all," Ryoga returned. "I tossed out all those maps, they're really inaccurate. To think, Canada next to the United States." He grumbled, irritably.

"Yes... of course," Akari said, sweat dropping and making a mental note to buy some more maps later. "How long do you think you'll be gone?"

Ryoga shrugged helplessly.

"Oh, right, stupid question," Akari sighed, and then stepped up to kiss him on the cheek. "Just try to call occasionally, all right?"

The lost boy nodded, and then looked around once again. "Um, where's Ino? I thought she'd be home from school by now."

"Oh, she said something about training to defeat Sakaki, and she's in the barn right now if you want to say goodbye to her." Akari said, looking somewhat disturbed.

Ryoga nodded, turning and exiting the front door, then tracing the guide ropes that had been tied about six feet in the air to help guide him and his daughter around the farm. As he peeked into the barn door, he saw a sight that was only marginally less absurd than the setup that had been built to help him learn the breaking point.

His daughter was hanging from the hay loft by her fingertips, and her guide pig, Porcine, whose name Ryoga had taken many hours to pick, now shut up Ranma, was tied to her feet.

"Um..." The confused father said, blinking a few times. "Hello, Ino-chan, what are you up to?"

The girl took a moment to look down at her father, then groaned as the attention she'd taken away from her task caused her to slip slightly. "I'm training," she grunted out. "Next time Sakaki shows up, I WILL be taller than her!"

"O...kay. I'm leaving for my trip now," Ryoga said, uncertainly.

"Bye, Dad!" Ino said, taking one hand from where it was holding her up to wave. This turned out to be a mistake, as the weight of the pig finally succeeded in pulling her to the ground. "Owie," she groaned, piteously.

Ryoga looked her over for a moment, noting that she looked as though she hadn't even gotten a bruise, before turning. "Well, at least she's training for something," he muttered, before deliberately letting go of the guide rope and starting to walk.

The next time he turned around, he found himself in another green field. stepping forward, he hit something soft, and stumbled over it. When he caught himself, he was looking into disconcertingly empty brown eyes. "Oh, Hi there again, mister," Osaka said, calmly. "Could ya move? Yer blockin ma view of the clouds."

"...Sure." Ryoga said, slowly picking himself up and walking off, leaving Osaka and Chiyo to continue staring up at the sky, identifying animals in cloud banks, well after Gym class had ended.

HR.

"And she pretty well threatened to call in children's aid if I didn't start attending school," Ranma grumbled, as she and Sakaki sat around one of the tables in the middle of the Neko-Hanten, Shampoo staying nearby whenever she could to hear the conversation.

"That too, too underhanded," the Amazon woman grumbled. "Shampoo never see need for dumb schools, anyway."

"They... could improve your grammar a little..." Sakaki offered, tentatively.

Shampoo sniffed. "I can speak Japanese perfectly well, Sakaki-chan," she started, and at the girl's shocked expression, continued, "Is just fun pretend to be stupid foreigner. Gets good tips, and funny conversation."

"Wait, you mean you didn't realize that?" Ranma asked, looking at Sakaki oddly. "I thought you were supposed to be the smart one," she teased, elbowing her daughter in the ribs playfully. Or, well, she tried for that, but ended up burying her elbow in the older girl's gut, due to the change in their height difference. "Whoops, sorry Sakaki-chan," she apologized, sheepishly.

Sakaki just grunted, and then started to eat her meal, ignoring her mother.

"Don't worry about sister, she too, too annoying sometimes," Shampoo said, conspiratorially.

"Hey!" Ranma objected.

"As for Principal, Shampoo fix real good!" the purple haired woman continued, and then seemed to reach behind her back, pulling a bottle out that was labeled 411 in big, black letters."

"Hmm, erase her memory?" Ranma thought aloud, actually considering it for a moment.

Next to her, Sakaki looked horrified. "No!" she exclaimed, loudly.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Ranma conceded. "It wouldn't be right."

"Fine," Shampoo huffed, turning around and marching for the kitchen. "Stupid Matriarch's morals. No kill stick boy for glomping, no use spiked ramen on health inspector, Ranma never let Shampoo have any fun."

"Uh..." Sakaki said, uncertainly.

"I think she was joking... maybe," Ranma offered, slowly. "I hope."

"If it helps, she hasn't gone to get her sword," Mousse offered, as he walked up with another bowl of ramen and set it down at their table, taking a seat himself. "It's too bad about you having to go back to school." He said.

Ranma nodded sullenly. "And what's worse, I can't exactly go teaching at the Dojo, and if anyone other than Hinako finds out that Sakaki and I are living alone, we've still got the problem of them calling in the government."

"We could get someone to come live at the house," Sakaki suggested. "We have a guest room still."

"Hmm, that could work," Ranma said, and then started thinking. "Who could we ask, though?"

"Aunt Kasumi?" Sakaki offered.

"Nah, she's off at that medical conference in America." Ranma returned.

"Aunt Akane?" Sakaki tried.

Ranma's face turned pale. "And let her into my kitchen?"

"Hmm, good point," the girl returned. "What about Grandpa or Grandma?"

"No!" Ranma yelped, sharply. "If Mom sees me like this, I'm doomed."

"You know, I'm sitting right here," Mousse observed, not really caring either way if he moved into Ranma's home rather than staying at the Neko-Hanten, but rather miffed that he hadn't been considered.

"Hmm? You volunteering, Mousse?" Ranma asked, looking at him sharply.

"Well, uh, I guess," the long haired man replied, suddenly on the spot.

"Fine, then you're recruited!" the little redhead said, smirking at him.

"Yay," Mousse deadpanned. "At least I'm out of the storage room."

The girl's face abruptly twisted into an irritated scowl. "I thought I told Shampoo and the Ol' Ghoul to give you a proper room in this place?"

"Oh, they did," Mousse clarified, "It just sprang a leak in the roof last week, and I'm getting tired of sleeping as a duck."

"Huh," Ranma considered, "I suppose that makes sense." Looking around the room, the small redhead noticed that Cologne was still sequestered in the kitchen, so she shouted,"I need to borrow your duck!"

"Just bring him back when you're done with him," Cologne called back, ignoring the fact that at least a quarter of the restaurant's patrons were looking confusedly from one to the other. Another quarter were trying to not choke on their ramen.

"So, how long do you need to get ready?" Ranma asked.

"Actually, I've had all of my personal effects in my robe since my room sprung that leak. I'm ready to go whenever you want."

"Well, since I apparently have homework," Ranma began, quite annoyed, "we should probably get going soon."

The three were making their way out of the restaurant when Shampoo grabbed Ranma and held her back. "Try get Mousse to finally defeat Shampoo, yes?" she whispered.

"You know I could just waive that, right?" Ranma asked.

"Mousse must defeat Shampoo," Shampoo insisted.

"Fine, fine. I'll see what I can do," Ranma promised before leaving for home with Sakaki and Mousse.

END.

Tomo: This was not what I meant when I said more of us!

Yomi: You're just mad because you bruised your nose.

Tomo: Be quiet! Anyways, I didn't mean for you to add Kagura dozens of chapters early! Now I'll have to try and compete with her!

Kagura: But we're still in different classes.

Tomo: Right, but still...

Yomi: I'd be more worried about what they did to Chiyo-chan.

Chiyo: I'm all right, really. It's okay.

Sakaki: Shouldn't we rap this up? It's getting a little long.

Osaka: Yeah, but I sure did have fun today, what about all of you guys?

Yomi/Tomo: *Sigh*

Osaka: I guess we're done for now, so see y'all next time!

Tomo: You did it! Ha! I knew it!

Yomi: Tomo...


	7. Chapter 7: Yomi's True Love CAKE!

Chapter 7: Yomi's True Love... CAKE!

Yukari stood before class 3-1, having just finished explaining some of the more unusual rules of English 'if we feel like it' grammar to the class, whose eyes were mostly glazed. "We've got mid-terms in two weeks!" she yelled, noticing the glaze disappear from most of their eyes almost instantly, save Osaka, who was still sitting, muttering 'get it together' under her breath repeatedly.

"What?" Yomi asked, shocked, though as she thought about it, it was the middle of May, and therefore almost half way through first term.

"Yup, that's right," Yukari said. "And, well, I'm using the test from last year, and I think I forgot to teach you some of its contents, so the exam should be very challenging."

Several of the students groaned, and Osaka's chanting seemed to get a little louder, as the lunch bell rang. "Well, I guess this gives you some time to contemplate your doom, enjoy lunch!" the teacher said, waving to the group and turning to walk out of the classroom. As she did so, most of the students burst into a barrage of chatter, everyone talking about the exam.

"I'm doomed!" Tomo yelled, and Yomi was a little disconcerted that she couldn't tell if the other girl was disappointed or excited. Still, she knew how to respond.

"Well, you should have studied more," the brown haired girl said, straightening her glasses. "I'm sure Yukari-Sensei was only joking about the answers not being in our previous assignments."

"I don't know," Tomo returned. "Did you see the evil look in her eye when she said it? Yukari's a monster, sometimes."

Yomi just snorted. "Well, I'm going to study my notes, then even if I fail, at least I tried right?"

"Hmm, I guess," Tomo returned, then shook her head. "No, that's not good enough! I need an edge, I need an angle, I need something to make up for the fact that I haven't studied in the past month and a half. I need Chiyo!"

"Yes, Tomo-san?" aforementioned prodigy asked, from where she was sitting with Kaorin and a girl with pigtails, their books already open.

Tomo didn't answer for a moment, taking the time to leap over her desk and another separating them, incidentally cracking her shin against the corner of one and not stopping. "I need your help with studying," she said. "I'm going to fail this test without it."

"All right, I guess." Chiyo returned, confused.

"Please, I'll do anything!" Tomo exclaimed, not seeming to have heard the younger girl, "anything you want!"

For a moment, Chiyo seemed to freeze in place. "Maybe I should try," she muttered, too quietly for Tomo to hear. "800." She said, hesitantly.

"Hmm?" Tomo asked, curiously.

"800 yen," Chiyo returned, as hesitant as before.

"You're charging me?" Tomo asked, incredulously. "And I thought we were friends?" She took a dramatic pose, clutching at her chest as though she'd been shot through the heart. "To be denied help by one of my best friends, it's... it's just horrible."

"Oh, Tomo-san, I'm sorry!" Chiyo said, her eyes starting to water. "I was just doing what Mom said I should." She looked down. "I'm no good at that, though, am I? Of course I'll help you out."

"Yeah, you really aren't that good." The girl with twin pigtails sighed. "Even I can see that Tomo's acting... Ow!"

"Oh, thank you Chiyo!" Tomo said, not even breaking her stride as she smacked the black haired pigtailed girl in the back of the head to shut her up. "You're awesome!"

Chiyo only blushed as Tomo settled down to join the group, and the next bit of lunch passed relatively peacefully, as they went over the placement of verbs in the English sentence structure, those who had thought to bring them occasionally nibbling on their lunches.

"Oh, this is giving me a headache," Tomo groaned, twenty minutes later, as she slumped her head down on her English book. "This language is over rated."

"Oh no, it's very important!" Chiyo objected. "It's one of the main business and technology languages, you know." She said, seriously.

"Then I won't go into business or technology, if I have to speak it all the time," the black haired girl resolved. "Maybe I'll become a cop," she decided. "Yeah, bang bang!" she laughed, jumping up and running across the room to Yomi. "You're under arrest!"

"Yeah, yeah," the brown haired girl mumbled, looking up from her book. "That's nice."

"Um," Chiyo said, sweat dropping as one of her study partners ran off. "I guess we continue by ourselves," She decided, right before Sakaki slowly walked up to the desk, wordlessly dropping a small pink envelope, a sticker of a white cat with a kitten playing on its back holding it closed. Bowing, she stepped back and waited.

All three girls stared at the thing that had been dropped onto Chiyo's desk, though Kaorin's face seemed to be turning pink. "Is this... it can't be, is it," she stammered, her blush growing with every word.

"Is this for me, Sakaki-san?" Chiyo asked, picking it up, and getting a sharp look from the stammering and blushing girl. When Sakaki nodded, Kaorin's face went pale, and tears seemed to gather in the corners of her eyes.

Chiyo didn't seem to notice, smiling and carefully removing the sticker that sealed the note, which provoked a relieved smile from Sakaki, before opening it and withdrawing the paper inside. Unfolding it, she began to read.

"Oh wow, Sakaki-san, you want me to come to your birthday?" Chiyo squealed, her voice carrying half-way across the room, and causing several people's eyes to turn towards them.

Sakaki nodded. "I normally don't have a party, but my mother insisted this year," she explained, not mentioning that she was pretty sure that it'd been aunt Akane that had originally sold Ranma on the issue.

"Then I would love to go," Chiyo said, and next to her, Kaorin finally started to break out of a shocked state.

"You didn't invite me?" She yelled, and then, realizing what she had said, clamped a hand over her mouth as she turned red.

Sakaki looked at the girl who had made the outburst, surprised. "You... want to come?" she asked.

"Of course she does! It's a party!" Tomo yelled, springing up behind the group from out of nowhere. "I'll bet there'll be free food, and Karaoke, and everything!"

"There should be okonomiyaki, and Mom's making a cake," Sakaki confirmed.

"Then I'm there too!" Tomo said, raising her right hand in a victory sign before Yomi walked up behind her and grabbed her arm, pulling her back.

"I'll come to keep her under control," she offered. "What about you, Osaka?" She asked, turning to the rather spaced out girl, who was still muttering "Get it together" at her seat.

"Huh?" Osaka asked, blinking slowly at them.

"Sakaki-san's birthday party," Chiyo clarified.

"Oh, yeah, that'd be nice," Osaka murmured, before turning back to the first page of her book, which she'd read at least five times by now.

Sakaki couldn't help but smile at this. She now had five people who wanted to go to her birthday party, even if at least one had kind of suspect motives. For just a moment, she let herself break out into a smile that almost hurt before returning to her normal state of composure.

HR.

Ranma and Mousse were working overtime to transform the household of three into a prime party location without opening any of the bedrooms. Luckily, there was not a lot that needed to be done, at least not for the basic preparation. All it took was a bit of heavy lifting and everything was placed where it needed to be. Here the fun part began.

"Hey, Mousse, can you get the crepe paper for me?" Ranma asked from where she was standing on a chair at the counter, mixing the batter for the cake.

"Why are we doing this again?" Mousse asked as he threw out his arm, unleashing a wave of throwing spikes and colored paper. "Sakaki is turning sixteen, after all."

"Well," Ranma began, "she's never really had a nice birthday party with friends, and this is my first chance. Besides, embarrassing one's daughter is a mother's prerogative." Pulling a cake pan out from under the oven, she poured the contents of the mixing bowl in before leaving the kitchen. "Mousse! What's wrong with you! I said to use the nail gun!"

"I used nails," Mousse insisted. "But using the gun would have taken too long."

"Nails, as in under six inches long! Look at what you did to my walls! It'll take a full day to fix this mess." She turned a full forced glare onto the male Amazon and shook her head sadly. "I don't see what Shampoo sees in you."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Mousse grumbled as he pulled a number of serving dishes out of his robe and placed them on a table. "She's never seen anything in me, Not more than a friend in any case."

Ranma smirked and commented, "I think she started warming up to you when you stopped glomping onto random things and people yelling, 'Shampoo, my love!'"

Mousse winced, both at Ranma's high pitched attempt to get his previous proclamations right, and his own stupidity at the time. "Do you have to remind me of that?" He grumbled, darkly. "I was practically a stalker."

"Yeah," Ranma agreed, causing the man to wince again, as she frowned at the spikes, decided there was nothing she could do about them for now, and returned to the kitchen to put the pan into the oven. "The fact that you realized that and stopped chasing her down really helped your case, and I guess with all the other guys who could beat her either married or sleaze balls," she shrugged.

"Gee, thanks Ranma," Mousse griped. "It makes it so much more understandable now that you've made it clear that I'm her last choice."

Ranma laughed from the other room as the master of hidden weapons pulled a small stereo and set of sheet music out of nowhere, setting them up on a table. "Idiot, all I'm saying is that she likes you, even if she doesn't love you, but she's too proud to make a move."

"So you want me to beat the hell out of her," the blind man grumbled back, plugging in the stereo.

"Not my idea, hers," Ranma returned, as she walked back into the living room, brushing off her hands. Mousse snorted as he looked at her.

"Maybe you're right," he conceded, "but I don't know about beating her."

Ranma shrugged. "Just think about it, all right?" she asked, before turning to arranging decorations.

"You know, that's creepy." Mousse observed, causing Ranma to turn her head back to him and raise an eyebrow. "I never really noticed it when I was at the Neko-Hanten, since you always acted normal around Cologne, but... you really do act a lot like a wife and mother, a traditional Japanese one, I mean." He shrugged. "Well, other than the whole twelve-year-old thing."

Ranma snorted, and looked out the window for a moment, a pained expression flitting across her face. "Anything goes, adapt or die," she muttered, softly.

"I'm sorry," Mousse said, suddenly realizing the implications of what he'd said.

Ranma smirked at him. "It's fine," she said, quietly. "I got used to it a long time ago, mostly."

Mousse nodded. "You know," he commented, causing Ranma to look back to him again. "Akane's right, Ukyo's a damned fool."

Ranma laughed. "Don't say that too loudly, she's probably going to show up today, always does on Sakaki-chan's birthday, I'll give her that."

Mousse nodded, and then looked around the room. "So what now, Honored Matriarch," he said, bowing towards the redhead.

"Damn it, I thought you at least would still call me by my name," Ranma said, pouting and crossing her arms over her chest. "Anyhow, all we have to do now is get the presents."

"You still buy her presents?" Mousse asked, surprised.

"Hey, spoiling my kid is my right, all right?" Ranma snapped back, as the two started up the stairs.

HR.

Sakaki looked at the large wall in front of her, a wrought iron gate set into it, in something of a state of shock. Chiyo had never mentioned that her family was rich, but in order to own a place like the one she was seeing in a place as over-crowded as Tokyo, they must have been very successful, or a very old clan. Reaching out tentatively, the black haired girl tapped a button on an intercom that sat next to the gate, provoking a soft buzzing.

"Hello?" a groggy, older voice came over the speaker.

"H... hello, I'm here to get Chiyo-chan, for my birthday party." Sakaki said, tentatively.

"Oh, Sakaki, right?" the voice returned. "Come in.." With that, the buzzing came again, and the gate before the tall girl slid aside. She made her way slowly up the path, moving around a fountain, and was almost at the door to the house when a white blur burst through it, charging for her. If Sakaki had been thinking more clearly, she would have recognized the blur as a big dog, but she was a cat person by nature, and had been told rambling, paranoid stories by her mother about being attacked by massive tigers before. Given this, it was perfectly understandable that she stumbled back, catching her legs against the back of the fountain and falling into it with a loud splash.

Scraping several locks of her now red hair away from her face, Sakaki sighed. At least, she thought, her curse didn't trigger nearly as often as her mother's had once done, or as the others she saw in action all the time. The elder had said that it had something to do with diminished magical ability, but she thought it may have also been because she really didn't mind the change.

Pulling herself to her feet, she once more gave thanks to the modifications that her mother had made in her clothing to make it so that she suddenly didn't find her skirt falling down every time she changed, ringing out the base of her shirt and marching resolutely up the stairs.

Near their top, Mr. Tadakichi, the loyal Mihama family dog, looked about as confused as a white dog could possibly look, as the human in front of him had just changed rapidly, and now smelled kind of familiar. Joyfully, he ran up to the new person, wagging his tail and looking up to her with big, friendly eyes.

"Oh, hello." Sakaki said, very slowly reaching her hand out to pat the animal on the top of the head. Normally, she wasn't very worried about getting bitten, but this dog was large enough that he could likely take her entire hand and arm off if he wanted to, and while he looked far too friendly to do so, so did the cat who always bit her.

"Wow, Ranma, Akane wasn't kidding when she said you looked younger," a snide sounding voice came from the entrance to the house, and as Sakaki looked up, she saw a woman standing there in a business suit, her brown hair styled into a bowl cut. "Though it does kind of worry me that little sis insists you're so cute, now."

"Huh?" Sakaki said, articulately.

"Stop fussing over the dog and encouraging him to kill cats and come in, Chiyo's waiting for you." The woman said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Erm," Sakaki said, but did manage to straighten up and walk into the house, the white dog padding at her heals.

"So, I thought I heard your daughter at the intercom," the brown haired woman said, walking across a large main hall to the base of a set of stairs. "Chiyo-chan, your ride's here!" she called up them.

"Mihama-san, I..." Sakaki started, before getting a glare from the woman.

"Ranma, call me Nabiki, all right?" The other demanded, and then leaned forward. "Oh, and I know you put your daughter in the same school with Chiyo by accident, but if you get her caught up in any of your weirdness, I'll..."

"Sakaki-san!" Chiyo's voice cut in as Nabiki was about to continue, stopping the older woman in her tracks. "You came!"

"Of course," Sakaki said, nodding to the other girl.

Nabiki looked between the two, and sighed. "All right, what's going on here?" She quearied levelly.

"This is my friend Sakaki," Chiyo said, pointing at the redhead.

"No, I've seen Sakaki, tall kid, black hair," Nabiki outlined, gesturing with her hands to indicate how tall she was talking about.

Chiyo nodded cheerfully. "Yes, but she has a curse, she apparently got it from her mother," the young girl returned. "Didn't I tell you about it?"

"No, you didn't." Nabiki said, her eye twitching, before she sighed. "That's what I get, I suppose, for thinking anything around Ranma would be simple."

"You know my mother?" Sakaki asked, having been curious about that ever since Chiyo had asked her about the comic supplement several weeks earlier.

Nabiki nodded. "We're... old friends," she said, after groping for another word to use for a few moments. "Oh, and Sakaki-chan, don't worry about what I said to you just now, but if you could pass it on to your mother, that would be good." She smirked dangerously.

"Um, yes, Ma'am." Sakaki said, quickly, feeling unaccountably nervous.

"Do we get to go now?" Chiyo asked, excitedly, as she shifted her weight from foot to foot.

"You might want to bring your present," Nabiki observed, pointing to a table near the door, where a pretty decent sized box was sitting. Chiyo nodded, and quickly ran over to get the box before coming back to Sakaki's side.

"Do you want hot water?" Nabiki offered, looking over the two for a moment.

"It's fine, Miha..." Sakaki started, before receiving a glare. "Nabiki-san."

Turning around, the two walked out of the house, the large form of Mr. Tadakichi trailing them to the gate. "Your mother is a little intimidating," Sakaki mumbled, as they turned onto the street.

Chiyo nodded briefly. "Daddy's not as bad, but he's off on a business trip to America right now." She explained, looking a little sad. Perking up, she continued, "But that's not important right now, right? It's time for your party!"

Sakaki smiled as Chiyo began to skip along next to her. "Yeah," she agreed.

HR.

"I really don't think this is a good idea," Nyamo said as she walked a foot or so behind Yukari. Both teachers were following a number of their students towards the Kuonji residence.

"Oh, come on, it'll be fine," Yukari reassured her friend. "Besides, there'll be real okonomiyaki there!"

"And how do you know this?" Nyamo wearily asked. There were times when being Yukari's friend made her feel more like a baby sitter, and this was one of them.

"You know how loud Tomo is, right?" Yukari asked. "Well, she was bragging about it the other day."

"Fine, so why are we following a bunch of kids?" Nyamo asked, trying to bring reason to bear. It was about as effective as hunting bear with bird-shot.

"Okonomiyaki!" Yukari explained, as though Nyamo was having a hard time comprehending the obvious. "Besides, you said Sakaki was weird, so now you can investigate her or whatever." After a minute of silence, Yukari asked, "Do you think they'll have sake?"

"At a sixteen-year-old's birthday party?" the gym teacher asked rhetorically.

The two teachers continued to tail their students in a decidedly suspicious fashion. Each time it seemed as though one of the girls was going to turn around, Yukari would grab Nyamo and bodily hurl both of them behind the nearest cover. Considering the girls were traveling in a group, and would look back to talk to each other every few minutes, Nyamo was getting rather annoyed. Luckily for the English teacher's continued health, the girls arrived at the house shortly there after.

"Now's our chance!" Yukari declared in a harsh whisper. Before Nyamo could protest, the brown haired woman had her arm and was dragging her, in a crouched run, towards the assembled students.

HR.

"Tomo, I think you rang the doorbell enough," Yomi said, grabbing her friend's arm before she could push the button for the fifth time in the last four seconds.

"I'm coming!" a voice yelled from the other side, one that none of the girls recognized. As the entrance started swinging open, they felt a gust of wind behind them, but ignored it.

"Hello?" a young girl in a pair of slacks and a red T-shirt greeted them, as she surveyed the group.

"We're here for Sakaki's party," Yomi said, bowing politely.

"Where's the cake!" Tomo yelled, as a voice behind her yelled, "Where's the Sake!"

"Kurosawa-Sensei?" the girl asked, blinking, and the students turned to see two adults standing behind them, Yukari grinning widely while Nyamo looked as though she wanted to crawl under a rock.

"Hi Yukari-Sensei, decided to join us, huh?" Osaka said, waving at her instructor.

"Well, this won't be awkward at all," Ranma grumbled to herself. "You might as well come in."

"Don't mind if I do," the English teacher said as she danced through the crowd and into the house. "Oh, sake, here I co-ome," she sang, if it could be called such.

Nyamo sighed, rubbing at the bridge of her nose. "This is going to be a long afternoon," she decided, following the girls as they walked in, the redhead stepping aside for them to do so.

"So, where's Sakaki?" Kaorin asked, as the others proceeded to make themselves comfortable at various places around the living room.

"Um, she went to get her friend Chiyo," Ranma returned, looking at the girl who'd asked the question oddly, as she seemed to have an odd, expectant look on her face.

"Hey, I know!" Tomo said, excitedly. "We can hide and jump out when she comes in."

"I don't know," Yomi said. "That almost gave me a heart attack when my family did it when I was a kid."

"Yeah, but that was because I jumped on your back, it won't happen like that this time," Tomo assured.

"Well, I guess..." Yomi said, slowly.

"Yeah, let's go find us some hidin spots," Osaka said, smiling.

As all of the girls moved around the room looking for prime hiding locations, and Yukari was already rummaging through the cabinets in the kitchen for alcohol, Nyamo noticed that Ranma was casually leaning against a wall, just waiting.

"Aren't you going to join the others?" she asked, walking up to the young girl.

Ranma shrugged. "Nah, it's not like Sakaki doesn't know I'm here," she responded.

Nyamo nodded. "Are you her younger sister?" she asked, deciding that even if Yukari's logic was a little off, she could get a bit of information.

"No, not exactly," Ranma muttered, not really wanting to elaborate further.

"Hmm?" Nyamo asked, curiously. "Then you're adopted?"

"Well, um, it's..." Ranma started, before someone interrupted.

"Someone's comin, and they've got long dark hair," Osaka reported, from her position at the window.

"How far up the street is she?" Tomo asked, quickly.

"She's about ta knock on the door," Osaka continued, just as the knock came.

"Damn it," the hyper black haired girl cursed. "Hide!"

Everyone got into position, and Ranma sighed, looking around to ensure that they were in place before opening the door. The person on the other side stood for a few moments, stunned, before managing to say, "You look... different."

"Yeah, just a little bit," the redhead returned sarcastically before stepping back to let a tall dark haired person in a blue uniform enter the house. It really did look a lot like Sakaki, especially from behind, which was why Tomo was so surprised when she lept out of hiding, preparing to jump onto her classmate, only to run face first into the steel haft of a giant spatula that was strapped across the newcomer's back.

"Owie," she moaned, falling to the ground with the imprint of the metal across her face.

"This yours, Ran-chan?" Ukyo Kuonji asked, gesturing down to the girl who was laying on the ground.

"Sakaki's, actually," Ranma returned, deadpan.

"Starting already, huh?" Ukyo asked, with a crooked grin.

"Jackass," Ranma returned, swatting her in the arm, which was about as far up the older woman as she could reach.

Ukyo abruptly bent, catching the redhead in a large hug, but as she lifted her so that they were face to face, she whispered, "We're going to need to talk later."

Ranma nodded back. "Yeah, I sort of figured," she returned, before being put back down.

"Wow, sugar, Akane was right, you are really cute." Ukyo said, reaching down and tousling the redhead's loose hair.

Ranma crossed her arms over her chest. "I really wish she hadn't told everyone," she grumbled. "Seeing the look on your face would have been funny." While the two were talking, Sakaki's friends were looking between them, very confused. This was, of course, all except for Tomo, who was still laying on the ground with a dazed expression.

"Aiya, no touch vinegar!" A panicked voice came from the kitchen, and both Ranma and Nyamo gave out long suffering sighs. "I'd better go take care of that," the redhead said, turning and heading for the disturbance.

HR.

Sakaki opened the door to the house, noting that there was no light coming from the living room. "Hello?" she called. No one answered.

"That's odd, did they all go somewhere else?" Chiyo asked.

Sakaki smiled. "I don't think so," she said, recognizing the setup of what was about to happen from a myriad of manga and TV shows she'd seen as a child, but walking into the trap anyways. As she entered the living room, a massive weight impacted with her back, driving her forward into the carpet. As she looked up from the floor, the lump on top of her, along with a number of other voices, yelled "Suplize!" as loudly as they could.

Sakaki winced a little at the bad English, especially since she'd heard Yukari's voice in the chorus, but still looked around to see that a bunch of people had sprung out from behind the doors to other portions of the house, and her mother had used her small size to her advantage, hiding behind the television. Rolling over, she sent the weight on her back falling to the floor, surprised as whoever it was flipped up to their feet with little effort.

"Uncle 'Natsu?" She asked, looking at the Kimono clad form who was standing next to her.

"I am sorry, Sakaki-chan, but a girl named Tomo insisted when she found out that I was a Kunoichi," Konatsu explained, bowing.

"If you're here, is Dad here too?" The girl asked, looking around.

"Right over here, Sakaki-chan." Ukyo said, waving from the kitchen entrance. Immediately, the girl ran over and gave her a big hug, oddly causing a pained look to come across Ukyo's face. Still, she wrapped her arms around Sakaki, patting her on the back. "Wow, your cursed form does look a lot like Ran-chan as a teenager."

"Oh, I forgot to change." The redhead said, blushing and fiddling nervously with some of the hair that fell over her shoulders. Within a couple of seconds, Shampoo was next to her, holding a steaming cup of water which she gratefully took. "Thank you," Sakaki said, dumping the contents over her head and reverting to normal, then looking around to see everyone smiling at her. A moment later, her eyes started to water.

"Hey, can we get to the food now? I was promised Okonomiyaki!" Yukari exclaimed, breaking the atmosphere completely and getting a hard nudge from her friend.

"We weren't even invited," Nyamo hissed.

"Well, I can provide Okonomiyaki," Ukyo returned, unsheathing her giant spatula. "'Natsu-chan hid the cart out back."

"But we've got a solid wall around the back yard, how did..." Sakaki started, before Ranma raised a hand. "Right, don't ask," she muttered, shaking her head.

"Sakaki-chan, would you come out back with me?" Ukyo asked, gesturing with the huge cooking implement in her hand. As the girl followed the chef out, several of the party guests tagged along behind her, and Ranma walked next to her, though the redhead was looking a little green for some reason.

As Ukyo approached the cart, she turned back to Sakaki. "Ranma's been teaching you polearm kata, right?" she demanded.

The girl nodded slowly, wondering where this was going, and was surprised as her 'father' reached up into a compartment atop the massive vehicle, withdrawing a gleaming silver spatula, about three quarters the size of her own and offering it to her daughter. "Most of the time, Kuonji are supposed to get one of these on our sixteenth birthday. I got mine a little early for... other reasons, but this is when you get yours."

The younger black haired girl gaped at her second parent, slowly walking forward and grasping the haft of the weapon. Stepping off to the side and taking a few practice swings, it felt as though it had been weighted for her. Ukyo nodded in approval. "Good form," she observed.

"I wouldn't let her have anything else," Ranma bragged, as Ukyo passed Sakaki a harness and some supplies for maintaining her new weapon.

By this point, the girls who had followed the group out were completely, one hundred percent confused. "Did he just give her a giant spatula?" Osaka asked.

"Um, Osaka, I'm pretty sure that's not a guy," Yomi returned, "and yes, Sakaki's got a giant spatula."

"That's kind of cool, actually," Tomo said. "Can I see?" She ran forward, reaching for Sakaki's first gift of the day, but the black haired girl hoisted it out of the significantly shorter one's reach, then gently bopped her on the head with it.

"Jackass," she said, in a perfectly level tone.

"Sakaki-san, that wasn't very nice," Chiyo said, frowning up at the larger girl in disapproval.

"But, it's what dad always does," Sakaki objected, softly, but eventually turned away. "Sorry."

"Told you that you were being a bad influence," Ranma quipped, grinning at Ukyo evilly.

The older woman scowled. "Just shut up and help me cook, all right?" she ordered, though she finished off the statement with a crooked grin.

As the Kuonjis had a little family bonding session over a hot griddle, Nyamo and Yukari stood back, the former concentrating deeply to try and piece together what was going on. "So that's her father, and it's obviously a woman," she started, slowly.

"Mmhmm," Yukari returned, nodding.

"And Ranma's not her little sister, but her father hugged her as though they were close," she continued.

"Mmhmm," Yukari said again.

"So that means," she finished, "I... don't know what that means."

"Mmhmm," Yukari said, for the third time.

"You aren't even listening!" Nyamo realized, suddenly.

"Mmhmm," Yukari repeated. "When do you think the food'll be ready?"

Nyamo just sighed.

HR.

Once everyone had had their fill of okonomiyaki, with Ranma eating less food in one sitting than Sakaki had ever seen her do, the group trooped back into the house, where Sakaki's presents had been arranged.

"Hey, did we bring anything?" Yukari asked, able to think much better now that she'd eaten. Nyamo just gave her an incredulous look. "Oh, then what do we do? I'll look like an idiot if I don't have anything to give her."

"Yeah, that's all we have to worry about," Nyamo griped back, before digging through the pockets of her jacket, only finding her wallet. "So long gym membership," she griped, pulling the wallet out and withdrawing four thousand yen. "Do you have anything?"

Yukari dug around in her pocket for a moment, and then came up with a small pile of coins. Nyamo was about to look at her in disgust when she plucked one ten yen coin from the top of the pile and dropped it on top of her own bills.

"Hey, I'll pay for drinks next time, I promise!" Yukari said, as she received a death glare from the other. Nyamo just sighed, walking over to Sakaki and offering the handful of bills.

"Sorry, but Tanizaki-Sensei and I just sort of decided to come on the spur of the moment," she laughed nervously.

"Thank you, Sensei." Sakaki said, bowing slightly.

"Oh, it wasn't any trouble!" Yukari said, loudly, as she seemed to appear next to her fellow teacher. Nyamo just sighed a long suffering sigh.

"Come here, you," The gym teacher muttered as she dragged the English teacher away. "Let the others give Sakaki their presents."

As the teachers moved off, Ranma walked up with a gift bag, its handles tied to a rope so that she could carry it away from her body. "Here you go, Sakaki-chan," She said, handing the girl the rope. Sakaki looked at it in bemusement for a moment, before lifting the bag up and opening it. "Oh..." She said, and her cheeks were suffused with her usual light blush as she withdrew a large fluffy cat plushy.

"You bought her a cat?" Ukyo asked, as Ranma ran back from her daughter as quickly as she could, reaching the wall and turning away from the room in general.

"Getting it wasn't fun," The redhead griped, "but I really suck at buying gifts, so..."

"She's hugging it," Ukyo said, a grin on her face, especially as she saw Ranma's lips turn up in her own smile as she heard that. "Um, while Sakaki-chan is distracted, maybe we should talk now?"

"Yeah, I guess so," Ranma agreed, uncertainly, and she started to feel a little nervous when Ukyo gave a signal to Konatsu, who fell in next to her as the three made their way upstairs.

"That's it," Nyamo resolved, where she was sitting next to Yukari at the table in the center of the room. "I'm going to find out what's going on here."

"What?" Yukari asked, confused.

"They're going up to talk about something, and I have a feeling it has to do with why Sakaki considers that woman her father," Nyamo explained.

"So... you're going to spy on them?" Yukari asked, her mouth growing into an evil grin.

"Well, not exactly..." Nyamo tried, but Yukari shook her head.

"Yes, you are!" She crowed, and was quickly shushed by the other as the students turned to look at them. "Well, I won't stop you, but I think I'll stay down here, all that food's made me kind of sleepy."

"Right," Nyamo drawled, getting up and starting for the steps. As she crept slowly up them, she heard footsteps shuffling around in the bedroom next to the staircase. Carefully, she made it to the top, and peered through a small gap that had been left in the door, able to see the forms of her twelve-year-old student and Ukyo, sitting across from each other in chairs next to a large bed. She had been sure that there was a third person up here, but she couldn't see her at all.

"Well," Ukyo said, looking distinctly uncomfortable as Ranma looked up at her, the redhead's blue eyes seeming somehow more innocent when framed by the face of a twelve year old. She sighed. "You did the whole turning into a kid thing deliberately to make this hard, didn't you?" she asked, then chuckled to herself.

"Ukyo, I don't want to make anything harder than it is," Ranma replied, evenly.

"Yeah, I know Sugar," Ukyo returned. "Look, both of us never were any good at dancing around things, so I'll just say it. I..." She stopped, as if the words were catching in her throat, opening and closing her mouth several times.

"You're with Konatsu," Ranma completed for her.

Ukyo flinched as if she'd just been smacked in the face. "You knew?" she asked, surprised, and wondering when the explosion was coming.

Ranma snorted somewhat bitterly. "It was kind of obvious when you started acting all normal again three years ago. Up until then it was like someone had destroyed your dreams; you were pretty much a mess." She shook her head. "Kind of obvious when you're back calling me 'Sugar' again, and your Okonomiyaki stops tasting like burnt rubber half the time."

Ukyo looked at her technically illegal, in several ways, spouse for a moment before smacking her on the back of the head. "They didn't taste like rubber! ...did they?" she asked, swiftly.

Ranma nodded.

"Look, Ranma, I'm sorry." Ukyo said, looking down at her lap. "All that time in Nerima, everyone thought you were cheating on us with someone else, and then..."

"We both knew it might not work out 'till Jusenkyo came back," Ranma said, her voice getting rougher with emotion. "Just kind of wish you'd managed to tell me before three years had gone by."

"Ran-chan," Ukyo said, her eyes filling with tears, as she hugged the little redhead tightly. "I'm so, so sorry." Ranma sighed, hugging her back for a few moments as Ukyo cried, and feeling like things should probably be the other way around here. When the okonomiyaki cheff finally recovered, the redhead reached for her neck, unclasping a silver chain that rested there and handing it to the black haired woman.

"What's this?" Ukyo asked, and looked down to see a wedding ring looped into the chain on one end. "You... always wore this?"

Ranma nodded.

"Damn it..." Ukyo said, and stood. "I'm such a jackass."

"A little bit of an understatement, Uk-chan," came a voice from just above Nyamo's head, and she looked up in surprise to see the ninja girl standing at the door, "but I still love you."

"'Natsu..." Ukyo said, and walked a little bit towards the ninja, then looked back to the little redhead guiltily.

"Go on," Ranma said, then looked at Konatsu. "Just... take care of her, all right?"

Konatsu nodded. "Of course, Ranma-sama. For what it is worth, I am deeply sorry as well."

Ranma shook her head. "Yeah, everybody's sorry," she said, bitterly, and then tried to return to a more normal expression. Though it was barely noticeable, Ukyo could feel the temperature dropping a little in the room. "We should probably go down and join the rest of the party."

"Agreed," Konatsu said, and gave a significant glance towards the door. Nyamo got the hint, moving away as quickly as she could, and still attempting to process what had just been said. That, she was sure, had been the strangest breakup she'd ever witnessed.

END.

Chiyo: That was horrible! Here I thought Kuonji-san was so nice, and... *Sniff*

Sakaki:...

Yomi: Chiyo, don't cry, it's all right.

Chiyo: No it's not, that was so sad! Poor Ranma-san! The next chapter isn't going to be this sad, is it?

Sakaki: ...

Tomo: I'm sure it'll be a lot better!

Chiyo: But...

Yomi: Yeah, don't worry, things are always darkest before the dawn, right?

Sakaki: ...


	8. Chapter 8: Yukari is Sleepy

Opening Note: There is no opening note., Neo. Break free of your preconseptions and escape from the matrix...

Or keep reading, it's all the same to us.

Enjoy!

Chapter 8: Yukari is Sleepy.

As Ranma, Ukyo and Konatsu returned to the party, they were all surprised by a blur which raced at the older woman, bouncing up and down rapidly. "Hey, can we get some cake now? Huh?" Tomo asked and then pumped her arm.

Ukyo looked over at Ranma, as if to ask what was wrong with this girl, but got only a shrug in response. "Well, I could go get it out of the fridge, if Sakaki's done with her gifts," the redhead offered, looking over to where her daughter was sitting, and only flinching a little as she saw that she was clutching her big stuffed cat, along with a similar dog that she'd gotten from somewhere, and was talking animatedly, for her, with Chiyo and Yomi.

Tomo nodded rapidly, not really caring why the twelve year old was serving the food, just so long as she got some, and Ranma couldn't help but smirk at her energy as she entered the kitchen.

At the table, she saw Shampoo sitting with Yukari, both of them drinking small amounts of the house's ceremonial sake. "Shampoo, what are you doing with that out at Sakaki's birthday party?" the little redhead asked, glaring.

"Stupid teacher woman not leave Shampoo alone, and not allowed to kill." The Amazon pouted.

Ranma just shook her head, walking over to the refrigerator and pulling a large cake out from the bottom shelf, before turning to leave the kitchen. "Have fun, just don't come out there while drunk," she declared.

"Hey, there's the cake!" Tomo said, as Ranma exited the kitchen holding it.

"Mmmh, that looks good," Osaka observed, grinning widely, as Mousse, who had just been showing off his hidden weapons in the disguise of a magic show for Chiyo, pulled a set of paper plates from nowhere.

Ranma merely smirked, and set the cake down on the table in the middle of the room. "So, are we going to sing that old American song?" she asked, and saw Sakaki starting to blush.

"Ah don't think my English is that good," Osaka said, unsure, but Ranma shook her head.

"Come on, we've got to embarrass her," she chirped, grinning evilly at her daughter.

At the side of the room, Ukyo and Konatsu watched on, a look of concern over the okonomiyaki chef's face. "Why is she acting so... happy?" she asked.

Konatsu shook his head. "It's Sakaki's birthday, she doesn't want to ruin it," he said, simply.

"Yeah, but... I don't know if I could do that," Ukyo said, looking at her former spouse steadily.

"According to what Ranma-sama said, she has had three years to come to terms with this," Konatsu reminded, gently.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Ukyo agreed, "but why is that other woman with dark hair giving me the evil eye?"

Konatsu shrugged. "I can't imagine," he returned, levelly, as the rest of the room burst into a rousing and badly sung chorus of "Happy birthday," Sakaki turning redder and redder as it went.

HR.

"Wake up!" Ranma snapped, shaking the lump that was sprawled over the table.

"Don' wanna," it groaned back, swatting the young girl's hand away.

"I'm really sorry about this," Nyamo said, blushing in embarrassment at what her fellow teacher was causing, as Yukari resolutely continued to sleep.

"I carry teacher for you," Shampoo offered, trying to stand from her chair and falling back into it with a muffled hiccup.

"Yeah, right," Ranma returned. "How much of that sake did you have?"

"Shampoo have only quarter of bottle," the Amazon objected, hotly.

"It was a four liter bottle!" Ranma yelled back, shocked. "Mousse, can you get her home?"

"Yes, Matriarch," the blind man said, not really being able to help grinning at the situation, as he slung one of Shampoo's arms over his shoulder and started for the back door.

"Stupid Mousse, Shampoo walk fine by self," the purple haired woman said, though she could actually be seen snuggling in closer to the taller man's chest.

"Wow, she must be drunk," Ranma quipped, and then turned back to Yukari. "You aren't going to move, are you?"

"Nope," Yukari answered, that having been her only coherent utterance in the past four hours, before slumping to the table again.

Ranma sighed. "Fine, then sleep on the table, but if you even think of throwing up all over my kitchen, I'll be forced to do something you'll regret," she threatened.

As she turned to re-enter the living room, now devoid of all of the guests, and Sakaki who was walking Chiyo home, Ranma felt a hand land on her shoulder. Looking up, she saw Nyamo looking down at her.

"Again, I'm sorry about Yukari, I'll help clean up here while I wait for her to wake up, if you'll let me," the gym teacher said, politely.

Ranma looked around the mess of a living room, knowing that it would have to be cleaned eventually, and that it would take a long time for her to do it. "Thank you," she said, and then began to get to work, her teacher working next to her.

The room was silent for several minutes, before the redhead spoke. "So, how did you suddenly find out?" she asked, casually, as she studied several large spikes that were holding up a line of decorations.

Nyamo twitched, almost dropping a stereo she'd picked up and was moving to the center table. "Find out what?" she asked, nervously.

Ranma shook her head. "The last few times I talked to you, you haven't been treating me like a cute little kid, which means that you found out something."

"I..." Nyamo said, uncertainly. "I was confused," She looked apologetic, "with how Ukyo-san was acting towards you, I was worried that she was... doing... things," she didn't clarify any further, "to one of my students."

Ranma choked, dropping a spike to the floor and starting to chuckle. "Yeah, I guess I never thought of how that looked," she admitted.

"I know now that it was a private discussion, and I'm sorry for intruding.," Nyamo said, and bowed.

"Not really your fault, I guess," Ranma replied. "Konatsu knew you were there, now that I think about it, and he didn't say anything."

"He?" Nyamo asked, blinking.

"Konatsu, the guy in the kunoichi outfit," Ranma responded.

"Oh, that was a..." the teacher said, before shaking her head. "I think I'm going to get back to work."

Ranma nodded, but then said, "I've still got to go to your classes, you know. Hinako-Sensei's got me pretty stuck."

Nyamo nodded. "I will try to keep your... special situation in mind," she offered.

"Thanks." Ranma said, smiling gratefully.

HR.

Mousse finally arrived on the street in front of the Neko-Hanten, the lights gleaming off of his glasses as he moved awkwardly towards the door, Shampoo slung over his left shoulder, and snoring happily. "Shampoo, you're beautiful, but a lot heavier than you look," the master of hidden weapons grunted, kicking at the front door to the restaurant until it finally opened from the other side, revealing Cologne, who was staring at the two of them in a state of annoyance.

"I was having a good dream, you know," the old woman said.

"Sorry, Elder," Mousse said, before stepping into the empty main room of the place.

Cologne looked over her great granddaughter. "That must have been some party," she quipped, smelling the alcohol on the younger woman's breath. "I wish I had been able to go, rather than minding the store."

"Shampoo spent most of it getting drunk with one of Sakaki-san's teachers," Mousse said, starting for the Amazon's bedroom to put her to bed. "I think she got into a drinking contest and refused to admit she'd won even after the other contestant had passed out."

Cologne chuckled. "That sounds like Shampoo, all right," she agreed.

A few minutes later, after Mousse had deposited Shampoo on her bed, he turned to start out of the restaurant. As he was about to leave, something struck him. When he'd seen Ukyo, Ranma and Sakaki interacting as a family, he'd realized that both he and Shampoo didn't really have much time left to start one themselves, if they could. "Cologne?" he asked, surprising the old woman due to the fact that he hadn't given her a title or insulted her.

"Yes, Mousse?" Cologne asked, from where she was sitting on the counter.

"Tell Shampoo that I officially challenge for the right to marry her, I will be back in two weeks," Mousse returned, steadily, though his eyes were nervous behind his glasses.

Much to his surprise, Cologne didn't seem angry, or even really surprised when she responded. "I'll do that, Mousse."

The duck cursed man nodded, before turning and walking out of the restaurant, letting the door swing closed behind him.

HR.

Ranma stood next to the table in the kitchen of the Kuonji household, a pot in one hand and a spoon in the other. "All right, wake up!" she called, reaching out with one foot while balancing on the other in order to poke the sleeping, likely hangover ridden, form of Yukari.

"Ngh," Yukari groaned, rolling slightly in her chair to get away from the foot, but somehow not falling off.

"All right, you asked for it," Ranma declared, moving the pot next to the woman's head and starting to smack it with the spoon.

"Gya!" Yukari screamed, as the sound seemed to explode into her head, bouncing around her brain several times, and ringing in her ears.

"Glad you're awake," Ranma said, smiling innocently at the older woman, as she rubbed her head.

"You..." Yukari snarled, turning to the twelve year old, who was standing there and looking as cute as she possibly could, the pot and spoon having disappeared somewhere. "Why did you do that!" she screamed, reaching out and grabbing Ranma before shaking her by the shoulders. She quickly began to regret this, however, as the world started to spin around her with the hangover. "Ngh, I don't feel so well." She moaned, softly, letting go of Ranma and putting her head back down on the table.

"You and Shampoo had a little drinking contest last night," Ranma explained.

"Did I win?" Yukari asked, hopefully.

"You lost three saucers to seven, and I think Shampoo may have re-used some of hers," the younger girl said, shaking her head.

"Oh, then I guess there's no real point getting up," Yukari decided, and closed her eyes.

"You do realize it's a school day, right?" Ranma returned, crossing her arms over her chest.

"What?" Yukari yelled. "I'm late! I've got to go!" As she shot out of her seat, stumbling towards the kitchen door and incidentally smacking against the edge of the counter, Ranma wondered if she should tell her that it was about 6:45. 'Nah,' she thought, watching the older woman rapidly try and get her shoes on, before scooping her purse up from beside the door and running out into the early morning light.

"Did you have to make so much noise?" Sakaki asked, standing at the base of the stairs.

"Yes, yes I did." Ranma said, deadpan, as her daughter walked into the kitchen. Ranma moved out of the doorway, heading for the fridge to get some supplies for breakfast, as the taller girl started pulling out plates.

"So," she said, "did you have fun yesterday?"

Sakaki nodded, a small smile flitting across her face as she recalled everything that they'd done, though Yomi's singing could have been missed. "It was good to see Dad again, too."

"Yeah," Ranma said, though Sakaki noticed that her voice had gotten a little fainter when she'd said it.

"Mom, is there something wrong?" She asked, turning to the redhead and looking her over. That was when she noticed that there was no silver band at the smaller girl's neck, where she knew her wedding ring had always hung. She'd never asked why Ranma kept it on a chain there rather than on her finger, though now that she thought about it, it had probably not fit either form's finger by some point. "...Where's your necklace?" She asked, her stomach beginning to sink.

The little redhead sighed. "Damn, I was hoping I would be able to put this off until this afternoon," she griped. "Sakaki, yesterday Ukyo told me that she..." She trailed off, not really wanting to tell her daughter what had really happened, but not able to think up a lie. "Ever since I was locked in this form, Ukyo's been a lot more... distant," she finally started. "Yesterday she finally asked for a divorce."

"Dad..." Sakaki said, raising a hand to her mouth. She really didn't know what to think. She'd never seen her other parent all that often, as Ukyo was always traveling around, serving okonomiyaki all over the country, but she'd always known that he, now known as she, would be back to see the family. Now, though, "She told you yesterday?" she asked, to clarify.

Ranma nodded. "I didn't want to have to tell you something like that on your birthday, so I wanted to wait until after classes today," she explained. "We'll be filing the papers to make it official whenever I get back to normal, but I've already told Ukyo that I'm keeping you, unless..." She looked down. "Would you like to go with her?"

Sakaki's eyes widened. "Mom, of course I want to stay with you!" she said, loudly, genuinely shocking Ranma with the vehemence of the outburst, before bending down and hugging the short redhead tightly.

"Come on, we've got to get breakfast cooked," Ranma said, reluctantly pulling away from the hug.

"Right," Sakaki agreed, though thoughts kept running through her mind as she worked, mostly wondering what she was going to do now.

HR.

When Sakaki entered class 3-1, she saw that the only other person there was Yukari, passed out at her desk. She briefly wondered about that, but shrugged it off as she walked to her seat, setting her newly obtained giant spatula against the back of her chair.

Taking a book out of her backpack, she started reading, preparing for the mid-term and trying her best to ignore the world around her. About thirty minutes later, she heard the sounds of the majority of the students entering the room, and put her book away, staring towards the front of the board.

When Yukari remained face-down on her desk, leaving them all staring at the blackboard in silence, Tomo finally snapped, "Hey! What's going on! Wake up!" She yelled.

"Hmm, 45 seconds," Yomi observed, pushing a button on her watch as Yukari-sensei's head rose from the table, looking around the classroom with a bloodshot glare of death.

"She's scary," Chiyo whispered, though as everyone had gone dead silent, she was heard quite well.

"So, you want something to do, huh?" the teacher asked, the words croaking out as though she hadn't talked in years. "Pop Quiz, to help you out with the mid-terms!" Reaching into her desk, she removed her emergency stash of other teachers' tests, and slammed it on the table.

"What?" Tomo exclaimed, shocked.

"That's right, and I think this quiz will be on your final mark, too," Yukari said, vindictively. As she heard the groans of the crowd, she continued, "Don't blame me, it was Sakaki's party."

"But that..." Sakaki started, but trailed off, as she realized that there was no real point in protesting. Sighing, she stood, walking to the front of the room to grab one of the test papers and noticing with irritation that Yukari had passed out again.

A few minutes later, Tomo sat in her desk, her eyes shooting around the room for anything that would give her the answer to the question she was on. "Urg, I really should have studied more," she groaned, dropping her head onto her paper for a moment.

Looking up again, she saw what looked like a gleam of metal from nearby. It was on Sakaki's chair, the giant spatula she'd gotten the day before. "Oh, that's neat," she said, apparently letting her attention wander from the quiz that she really didn't want to think about. Looking up to ensure that Yukari was still asleep, she crept over to Sakaki's seat, where the older girl was engrossed in answering an essay question, and poked at the spatula's blade. It made a soft chiming sound as her fingernail banged against it.

"Neat," she muttered, and reached out again, just as Sakaki was turning to see who was behind her. The larger girl shot a hand out to stop Tomo, but it was too late as she ran her finger down the length of the razor sharp edge of the blade.

"Ack!" Tomo yelped, a bright line of red running across her index finger, and starting to bleed. "That's sharp!"

Apparently, this was yelled far too loudly, as Yukari's head rose from her desk again, and she glared around the room. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, it's nothing, Ma'am, I just cut myself on this!" Tomo said, grabbing the spatula by the handle and lifting it to show the teacher, paying no mind to the fact that some of her blood was dripping down the haft.

Yukari's eyes widened. "Sakaki, you brought that to class?" she asked, suddenly much more awake.

"Um," The black haired girl said, starting to dig through her bag.

"Don't explain, just go to the principal's office," the older woman snapped, pointing at Sakaki.

Sakaki ignored the teacher for a moment, causing Yukari's eyebrow to twitch, before withdrawing her hand from her bag with a piece of paper, which she walked up to the front of the class and handed to Yukari.

The teacher took a moment to read the note, and then her eye started to twitch. "This doesn't even make sense! How in the world... She has to be..." She gave up in disgust, and then said, "Take Tomo down to the nurse's office, and then come back here, I really don't care."

Sakaki nodded, and walked over to Tomo. "I'm sorry, but you really shouldn't have touched that," she said, quietly.

"Yeah, probably," Tomo returned, grinning, and then wincing as a pulse of pain came from her finger, "but at least I got out of that quiz!"

Sakaki just sweat dropped and started for the door.

HR.

"Hey, Ranma," Kagura said from across the threshold, "thanks for letting me come over to study with you."

"No problem," the small redhead replied, ushering the chronologically younger girl inside. "I probably need to brush up on some of this anyways, since I haven't done some of it in years." Plus, it was a good way for her to take her mind off of other things, though she didn't say that aloud. "So, where would you like to start?"

"How are you doing in English? Half of what Yukari-sensei says doesn't make very much sense," Kagura admitted sheepishly.

"Well, I'm pretty good speaking it, but my handwriting kind of sucks," Ranma replied, wincing as she recalled all of the tests she'd failed due to that fact. "So I guess we can work on that easily enough while we take breaks from the harder stuff. How are you doing in math?"

"Heh heh, I'm pretty much failing," the tanned girl laughed weakly.

"All right, we'll start with that, then," Ranma decided. "Come on, I've got drinks in the living room."

The two girls went to the living room, Kagura noticing that there were a few holes in the walls. When she saw her looking at them, Ranma scratched the back of her head. "Sakaki's birthday party was yesterday," She explained.

Kagura wanted to ask how that caused holes in the walls, but decided against it and poured herself a glass of juice from the pitcher on the coffee table, Ranma doing the same a moment later. "All right, let's get to work," Ranma declared, pulling several books out from under the table.

As time went on, Kagura continually flipped back and forth in her textbook, her frustration growing with each turn of the page. Finally, her patience snapped. "Grah! Why can't I get this?" she despaired. "I've read this chapter ten times already, but it still doesn't make any sense!"

"Wait," Ranma said, holding up a hand. "You mean you've only been studying the book, without doing any of the problems?"

"Well, yeah," Kagura replied. "You mean we're supposed to do those?"

"We have homework for a reason, Kagura," the redhead sighed. "Try to do some problems and I'll see where you're making any mistakes, okay?"

"Hey, thanks, Ranma," Kagura said cheerfully before settling down to work out one of the problems. Ten minutes later, she slid the paper back to Ranma.

Looking over the page, the redhead said, "Ah, I see what you did. You need to solve for a single variable before you can work on finding the answer."

"Oh, that makes sense," Kagura agreed. "Let me try again."

"No problem," Ranma said. "I would have really liked to have had help like this when I was in college," She laughed, recalling hours upon hours of working on problems that refused to make any sense, and that she couldn't punch into submission.

"Oh yeah, you went to college, I keep forgetting." Kagura said, looking up from her paper for a moment. "Here, did I do this right?"

Ranma nodded. "Looks like it," She answered. "Let's try another one."

Kagura gave a long, melodramatic sigh, but flipped to the next page and picked a problem at randdom, starting to work on it. As the two continued, they heard footsteps behind them, and Ranma looked back to see Mousse standing at the door. "Are you going somewhere, Mousse?" She asked, but he didn't respond, opening the door and walking out.

HR.

Mousse was on a mission. He had only two weeks in which to prepare, and he could not waste a second. There were certain places in Tokyo where, if one had the coin, almost anything could be acquired. Most of these places were noted, so that they could be reported and shut down later. They would never trace it to him, as no one ever noticed the random duck flying over head. There were some, however that held what the bespectacled martial artist sought, and one of these was before him now.

"Where on earth am I now!" a voice thundered from nearby. "Ranma Kuonji, this is all your fault!"

"Hibiki?" Mousse asked, looking to his left, where the fanged martial artist now stood.

"So, how was my delivery?" Ryoga questioned. "Did it sound right?"

"You're starting that again?" the duck boy groaned.

"Well, it is his fault," Ryoga claimed. "Sort of."

"Elder Cologne is still upset that you didn't save any of that stew for her, you know," Mousse commented.

Ryoga gulped. "Um, no, I didn't know that," he said. "So, what are you doing here? Wherever here is."

"Oh, this is a black market. I'm just doing a little shopping. I'm winning myself a bride in two weeks, so I need to prepare," the long haired man explained. "Would you like to come with me?"

"I guess," Ryoga said. "This is Japan, right?"

"Yes, we're currently in Tokyo," Mousse calmly answered. After enough time, Ryoga asking similar questions was just routine. "So, where have you been recently?"

"Well, I just got back from Brussels. I bought Ino some brownies," Ryoga declared happily. "I just hope they're still fresh when I get home."

"Right," Mousse agreed. "So, I was thinking that I'd try for subduing, rather than actually harming her." Walking up to the dealer, he surveyed the wares and decided, "I'll take ten flash bangs and two concussion grenades." After receiving his purchases, he turned to Ryoga and said, "Well, I'm done here. Time to hit the sporting goods store."

END.

Osaka: Hmm, guess we don't get ta see the results of the test yet.

Yomi: Don't worry about it, we'll be fine.

Tomo: I'm going to fail, I'm going to fail, I'm going to fail…

Chiyo: Hey, why is that guy standing out in the schoolyard in those white robes?

Sakaki: …


	9. Chapter 9: Uncle Kimura is Watching You

Chapter 9: Uncle Kimura is Watching You

Nyamo watched as the second to last of her students emerged from the changing rooms and sighed. "She's still in there again, Kagura?" she asked. This had been going on since the not-so-young girl's first gym class. She would refuse to change with the other girls and was always the last one out, slowing down the class significantly. "I think she and I need to have a little talk," Nyamo growled. "Girls, start with some stretches, I'll be right back." As the class began doing stretches as per instructions, Kagura crept after Nyamo, wanting to give her friend what support she could.

Inside one of the bathroom stalls, Ranma stood, listening. Yes, it sounded as though everyone had left, but, after Kagura had stood still out side the stall that one time, she made damned sure no one was out there before leaving. If this meant counting footsteps and then waiting, then so be it.

"Ranma Kuonji," Nyamo yelled angrily, "Get out here right now!"

"Hang on," Ranma called back. "I'm just getting changed now." Several moments later, she emerged, dressed in her gym shirt and bloomers. "So, what did you need me for?"

"I know I said that I'd be lenient, but you've been doing this every class since the beginning of the year," Nyamo said. "It has to stop."

"Well, I couldn't exactly change while everyone else was in here, could I?" Ranma asked, incredulously.

Nyamo frowned down at the little redhead, confused. "And why not?" she asked. "I know you're a older than you look, but that is no reason to hide like this."

"Me being older has nothing to do with it," Ranma declared. "I thought you knew everything!" As she said this, Kagura crept slowly closer

"Well, I know you broke up with Ukyo, but I don't see why being a lesbian would be a problem," Nyamo replied. Really, there were worse things. Outside, someone sneezed.

"Wait, you think... I thought you said you knew," Ranma trailed off. Looking back on the conversation she had had with Nyamo the night of the party, she realized that the curse had never come up. "Aw crap, this is awkward," she muttered, sheepishly, and began to explain.

"You're a guy!" Kagura exclaimed.

"Why aren't you doing stretches like I told you to?" Nyamo snapped, glaring back at the insubordinate girl.

"Sorry, Sensei!" Kagura yelped before skittering back outside.

"Now, as for you, how dare you try to pass yourself off as," Nyamo started, cutting herself off as she realized that she'd been perfectly fine with the redhead being here when she'd thought she was a lesbian. "...Damn, you're confusing," she opined, before shaking her head. "Come on, it's time for us to join the rest of the class. We'll discuss your... arrangements later."

As student and teacher made their way out of the locker rooms, Ranma was thinking on the oddity of the situation. She was sure that, whatever Kagura's reaction had been, she would be hearing more of it soon enough. Nyamo's reaction was a bit odd, though. At first it seemed as though she was about to call her a pervert, as many had done before, but then she had stopped. It was a singular experience, if nothing else.

The pair walked out into the sunlight and beheld a horrifying sight. While the class did their utmost best to continue their stretches, they were finding it rather difficult, as on the other side of the fence stood Kimura-sensei, mouth agape, staring blankly at the class with sweat beading at his brow. As they approached, he turned to Nyamo and said, "Pleasant day, isn't it, Kurosawa-sensei? The girls are lovely."

"Don't you have a class now?" Nyamo groaned.

"I made it a study hall," Kimura replied. "I was hoping your class was going to be swimming."

"Does it look like we're wearing swimsuits?" Nyamo asked, glaring at the literature teacher.

"...no..." Kimura said, obviously disappointed. "Maybe they could go in those?"

Ranma twitched. This was one teacher she would never get used to. In fact, the man almost reminded her of Happosai, something that never ended well. Without any conscious thought, Ranma's aura blasted into the visible spectrum, causing those nearby to flinch and turn away. Granted, Kagura just whistled appreciatively, but that was mostly due to the pretty swirls. With her hand clenching spasmodically, a large spark of light growing and fading near her palm, the redhead calmly said, "Kimura-sensei, it would be best for you to leave."

Kimura looked at the ground as it began to scorch under the girl. "Woe is me, I have failed utterly," he cried, his neck bending to the side by nearly ninety degrees. He then turned and left, without another sound or even a leer.

HR.

"Oh, man," Tomo groaned, as she looked down at the mass of curves and lines that was written English. "Um, the rain in..." she muttered, and shook her head. "That's not right, the Sain in pain fall mainly on the... brain?"

Clutching at her head, she shook it from side to side, and yelled "Argh!" Getting a sharp and disapproving look from Yomi, who was already on the essay question. Getting up from her desk, the hyper-active black haired girl stomped down the rows of seats to the front of the room, pointing at Yukari, who was sitting at her desk and drinking some coffee, dramatically.

"None of what I predicted is on the test!" she yelled.

The teacher looked up at her, irritated. "Tomo, go sit down and continue with the test," she ordered.

"But I," Tomo started.

"Now, or I fail you right here," Yukari said, pointing to the girl's desk. "It's not my fault you chose such a strange way of studying."

"Well, I'll pass anyways!" the younger girl declared, going back to her desk and settling in. When she looked down at the page, however, it was just as incomprehensible as ever. "Argh!" she yelled once more, and this time was glared at sharply by Yukari as well as Yomi, and the teacher made a note in a notebook that was sitting at the edge of her desk.

HR.

As Sakaki worked peacefully on her literature exam, doing her best to ignore the outbursts of various students around her, she couldn't help but feel a little bit uneasy. Every time she looked up, she would see that the teacher was staring fixedly at someone, his mouth opening and closing frantically. This wasn't really that uncommon an occurrence in Mr. Kimura's class, but it certainly didn't help her peace of mind.

Nearby, she heard the sound of a pencil clattering to the floor, and when she looked to see who had dropped it, she saw Osaka bending down under her desk. Apparently her pencil had rolled somewhere hard to find, as she was crawling around in circles, sweeping her hand back and forth. Looking up, the taller girl noticed that Kimura was staring fixedly at the smaller girl's posterior as she searched.

Sighing, Sakaki reached behind her chair, withdrawing her spatula. Kimura's eyes widened for a moment, as if he were afraid that she was going to hit him with it, but she merely tilted the very shiny metal, reflecting one of the sun's rays so that it was physically painful to look in their direction.

This seemed to hurt him more than a physical blow would, as the look of sheer disappointment on his face almost made her feel sorry for him... almost. Ensuring that the spatula would stay in place, she went back to her exam.

HR.

Kagura groaned and clutched her head, as dozens of swirling flickers of light seemed to reflect off of her math exam paper, making the process of solving for Y in a problem with two divisible variables even more annoying than it already was. This had always happened during large tests, the incredible amount of nervousness and anticipation causing the auras of the people around her to burn in varying shades of yellow, green and blue.

Straining her eyes, she tried to focus past the light, writing entries into the answer lines. She looked up periodically, as other students stood and handed in their exams, but immediately looked down, as the relief that had been added to the kaleidoscope of lights was making the view even more nauseating. As her eyes moved back, however, she saw a calm island of glowing blue amidst the insanity, seeming to blot out the others.

Without a word, she stood up, walking over to the seat in front of the blue glow, and sitting down there, letting out a satisfied sigh as she saw that her test was now just tinted a solid blue. "Genrei-san," the teacher snapped, glaring at Kagura.

"Yes, sensei?" the girl asked, somewhat nervously.

"Why did you change seats in the middle of the exam?" the man asked, sternly.

"It's, um, more comfortable here," Kagura said, not wanting to explain that she couldn't see her paper anywhere else because of light source issues.

"Kuonji-san's finished her exam already, so I suppose she can't cheat off of you," he said. "Continue, but please choose your seat more carefully next time."

"Yes sensei," Kagura said, bowing slightly before turning to Ranma, who smirked at her and gave her a thumbs up gesture. She returned it before getting back to work.

HR.

"Hmm, Nobunaga Oda, he was beaten by the Sailor Senshi, wasn't he? Or... was it Samaunosuke Akeki? Or... that Inuyasha guy?" Osaka mumbled, as she nibbled on the end of her pencil, not caring that the eraser had been chewed off long ago and she was chewing on the raw wood.

This history exam had been pretty normal so far, though she had seen a man in a set of hiking gear and a pack pass in front of her desk five minutes ago. She sighed, imagining a long, relaxing hike in the forest, where she wouldn't have to worry about tests or anything of the like. Sometimes she really hated being in school, when she got the sudden impulse to go wandering, or stare out the window, but knew that she would probably get yelled at for it.

Unthinking, her pencil was removed from her mouth and began a slow, steady crawl across the paper, Osaka not even really paying attention as her hand wrote in the answers, glancing down at the paper only long enough to read the next question rapidly as she looked out the window.

She didn't even notice when most of the class stood up to leave, until the teacher walked up to her, looking down and tapping one foot against the floor. When this gained no response, the man reached down and tapped Osaka on the shoulder.

"Hmm?" she asked, looking up slowly.

"The exam period is over, you have to go now," the teacher said, sympathetically, as it was obvious that this girl had burnt out from the stress.

"Oh, Ah'm sorry, here's ma exam," Osaka replied, holding the paper up for the teacher to take. When he'd done so, she slowly stood, wandering out of the room casually.

"Hmm, poor girl," the teacher mumbled, putting the exam in the folder with all of the others.

HR.

"Hey, Yomi," Tomo excitedly asked, "what did you get? Come on, tell me." She crowded the bespectacled girl in an attempt to grab her grade sheet. "I want to see!"

"Will you get off me?" Yomi demanded. "You don't need to get grabby. Here, look for yourself."

Tomo gleefully grabbed the offered report and looked it over. "Aw, man," she groaned. "You did a lot better than I did."

"So, how did you do," Yomi asked, already fairly sure of the answer. Tomo simply slid her paper over while continuing to examine Yomi's, as though looking for some indication that the grades had been faked. "How did you get a negative fifteen in English?" Yomi exclaimed, incredulous that such a thing was even possible.

"I know, isn't it cool?" Tomo asked. "I got the same grade as my age!"

"So you're negative fifteen?" Yomi asked, deadpan.

Midori Tachikawa, anime connoisseur, pointed an accusing finger at Tomo and shouted, "Epic Fail!" Everyone else looked at her oddly for a moment, before she shrugged and walked off.

Chiyo walked up to Sakaki and asked, "So, how did you do, Sakaki-san?"

"Hm?" the short redhead asked, from where she was gazing out the window, having not bothered to close it when it had rained for a brief period earlier. "I did alright," she said noncommittally.

"So did I," Chiyo agreed cheerfully. After a few minutes, during which Sakaki had returned to staring out the window, the small girl asked, "What are you looking for?"

"My Uncle and Aunt are coming," Sakaki replied, turning to Chiyo to answer. "I'm not sure when, though."

"Hey, who's that?" one of the boys cried, having looked out the window at just the right moment.

"Uncle Mousse," Sakaki replied succinctly. The rest of the class rushed to the windows to see.

HR.

"Hey, I did it!" A voice yelled, causing Ranma to look up. Suddenly, she got glomped, starting to struggle instinctively.

"Hey, what're ya doing?" she demanded, shrilly.

"Oh, um, woops," Kagura said, letting the little redhead go to slump back into her chair. "But, I did it! I passed all of my exams!"

"That's great," Ranma said, uncertain about why the girl was so happy, until Kagura shoved a piece of paper in front of her face, showing her marks. Taking it, the younger girl read it over and smiled. "These are pretty good," she complimented.

"Yup," Kagura smiled, "And it's all thanks to your helping me study."

Ranma shrugged. "Nah, probably not. You're smart enough," she returned.

Kagura shook her head, but decided to make no more of an issue of it. "So, how did you do?" she asked, leaning over to look at the piece of paper on Ranma's desk, which actually turned out to be a scroll in a script she'd never seen before. "This isn't your mark sheet, is it?" she asked, confused.

"Nah, it's an ancient Chinese martial arts scroll I've been trying to figure out," Ranma responded. "As for my marks," She pulled her school bag out from under her desk, rummaging through it for her own slip. As she did so, however, a sticky note slipped out of the front of her binder.

Picking it up and reading it, her face went pale. "Aw, crap, I completely forgot!" she yelped, slamming the binder shut and standing up. "Tell Kurosawa-Sensei I've got to go," she yelled, before running out of the room.

"Go... where?" Kagura asked, but all that answered her was a shutting door. Sighing, she picked up the note that Ranma had dropped in her haste to leave. "Mousse's fight, don't forget!" was written on it in bright red Kanji.

"Mousse's fight?" She thought, before she heard the sound of a commotion at the window. Heading over, she saw several students looking out into the school yard.

"What's going on here?" she was about to ask, but was beaten to it by another voice as Nyamo had entered the room in the meantime.

"I don't know, but Ranma-san just showed up down there," one of the students said.

HR.

"Sorry I'm late," Ranma said, as she walked into the middle of the school's main yard, where Mousse was standing with his robes flapping dramatically in the wind. "Do you need to have those fans there?" she asked, pointing off to the side.

Mousse shrugged. "Spend three years plotting to destroy someone with Tatewaki Kuno and see if you don't pick up a few quirks," he defended, causing Ranma to sigh in exasperation.

"Look, can we just get this over with?" the redhead asked, raising one hand to rub at the bridge of her nose.

"Shampoo agree," a new voice came from nearby, as the purple haired girl jumped down from the school's wall. "Mousse ready for challenge?"

The near blind man nodded, and retrieved his fan before taking position five feet to Ranma's left. Shampoo mirrored him on the other side. "The two of you are aware of the conditions of this challenge?" Ranma asked, looking from one side to the other. "The battle will continue until one combatant or the other can no longer fight, and the prize is Shampoo's hand in marriage, by the laws of the Joketsuzoku. If Shampoo wins, Mousse is no longer allowed to challenge her for this right, and is required to pay reperations for her effort." Her face crinkled in disgust as she prepared to say the next part, but did it anyways. "I, as Matriarch of the tribe, will officiate and interfere if I feel that dishonorable tactics are being used."

At the windows to class 3-1, Tomo nudged Yomi in the ribs. "Hey, what are they saying?" she asked.

"Do I look like I can read lips?" Yomi returned, annoyed. "Now be quiet, and let's see what's going on."

Sakaki, who knew what was happening as she'd heard her mother grumbling about it for over two weeks, stood silently, not ready to explain unless someone actually asked her.

When Ranma saw Mousse and Shampoo both nod, she stepped back slightly, raised one hand into the air and lowered it in a sharp slashing motion. "Begin!" she called, and this time, it was loud enough for the students in the building to hear.

The redhead was smart enough to take a massive leap back as soon as she'd declared the fight begun, landing just short of the classroom windows. "Kuonji, what are you doing?" came Nyamo's irritated voice, as she glared at the redhead from class 4-1.

"Sorry, but Mousse wanted lots of witnesses," Ranma explained, scratching the back of her head nervously.

"Wh..." Nyamo started, but was interrupted by a tremendous bang from the battlefield. Up until this point, the two Amazons had been dancing around each-other, testing each other's defenses, but Mousse had just made the opening move by tossing a small object at Shampoo, which exploded when she tried to bat it away with her single battle mace.

The ground was covered with clouds of dust for a moment, but when it cleared, no one except for the great majority of the students in the classrooms were surprised at Shampoo, still standing, though with the head of her mace shattered. "Forgot Mousse stupid tricks!" she yelled, obviously having trouble hearing through the ringing in her ears. "Not make same mistake twice!"

Mousse only nodded, tossing his arms out to reveal dozens upon dozens of projectiles flying through the air. Ranma had to stop herself from laughing when she realized that, unlike in his fights with her so long ago, he was tossing beanbags, rather than razor sharp daggers.

Shampoo snorted, both arms blurring as she knocked the projectiles out of the air with the Amaguriken, before she started closing with the master of hidden weapons. Mousse danced back rapidly, but not quickly enough to stop himself from getting hit upside the head by a swing of Shampoo's handless arm, which acted quite well as a club.

His glasses went spiraling off into the dirt, and Shampoo pounced on the opportunity, jumping forward and bringing her foot down on the spectacles with a loud crunch. "Shampoo have glasses now, Mousse give up, it over." She said, though she sounded a little disappointed, along with her triumph.

"Have I ever given up because those were destroyed?" Mousse returned.

"But, are in school, Mousse no throw weapons without see here?" the purple haired Amazon asked, her hand coming up to her mouth, actually shocked at the idea.

"You're right," Mousse responded, before spreading his sleeves, and launching several large nets at his beloved. "I can see fine."

Shampoo stared open mouthed for a moment, which was what cost her as the netting wrapped around her. Realizing that she was still in a fight, she just barely managed to concentrate her aura in time to summon the only weapon she carried in hidden weapons space, a vicious, two handed scimitar. Bringing it up in her good hand, she slashed the netting and let it fall to her sides. "Mousse clever, but Shampoo can take contacts, too," she gloated, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Laser surgery, actually," the not-so-blind man returned, "And I'm not out of tricks yet." Saying this, he actually closed into range with her, two wickedly curved blades sliding into place on his wrists.

"Holy..." Yomi said, her mouth gaping, from where the group was watching all of this.

"I want one..." Tomo drooled, looking at the sharp pointy objects.

"Is this... legal?" Chiyo continued, "Maybe we should stop it?" The young girl's comment was stopped as Sakaki placed one hand on her shoulder. Looking up, Chiyo saw the slightly taller redhead shake her head silently. "But why?" she asked, confused.

"This is what they have to do," Sakaki said, "in order to get married."

"WHAT?" Yomi asked, managing to tear her eyes away from the sight outside at these words.

"According to her people's custom, Aunt Shampoo can't marry anyone who can't beat her in combat," Sakaki explained. "He's fighting her so that they can finally be together."

"Wow, that's actually... really romantic," Midori said, sighing and clasping her hands next to her face.

"It's dangerous!" Chiyo objected, loudly.

"If you interfere, I'll stop you," another voice joined in, and the group looked to see that Ranma was crouching on the window sill. "Don't make me do that, because then Nabiki will kill me."

"But I..." Chiyo said, before Osaka grabbed her, turning her head towards the fight.

"Just watch, all right? It's like one of those old martial arts movies," the somewhat spaced-out girl said, smiling as Shampoo flipped over Mousse's two swords, kicking him forward and off balance. Mousse tried to rebalance, but Shampoo followed up her advantage by bringing her sword around, hitting him with the flat of the blade as hard as she could.

He was never given a chance to regain his equilibrium, steadily battered until he stumbled one last time, landing against the fence that separated the main yard from the school's pool.

"Yield," Shampoo ordered, pointing her blade at the male Amazon.

"Never, my love," Mousse returned, and brought out his twin scythes again, though when Shampoo prepared to block, he brought them down on the chain of the fence, slashing it like a hot knife through butter and sending him falling through.

"You know, I'm pretty sure that that isn't possible," Nyamo observed, as she stood with her entire class, watching the fight before them.

"It is," Kagura said, idly. "The blades were glowing."

"Wh..." Nyamo started, but her breath was taken away by what happened next, as Mousse's robes seemed to fall into themselves.

Shampoo didn't let Mousse's disappearance startle her, however, having already leapt away from the fountain of water he'd created upon falling into the pool, and taking a defensive stance, eyes flicking around the yard quickly. She really couldn't be blamed for missing the duck, as it streaked down, straight out of the sun, dropping six cylindrical devices in a ring around her. The purple haired woman tried to jump away, but was unsuccessful as the flashbangs all went off at once. If she'd have been a normal person, they would have caused her eardrums to implode from the sheer intensity of the sounds, but even with her hardened constitution, she was both deaf and blind, and her head felt as if it was going to explode.

"I..." She started, trying to motivate herself to get back up again, managing to lever herself up onto an elbow, but when she felt the impacts of the lengths of chain snaking their way around her body, she growled in frustration. By the time she at least had her sight back, she had been wrapped up almost completely, her head the only thing still exposed to air.

The duck took that moment to land on her head, quacking in a smugly satisfied way. "You not win yet, Mousse, Shampoo still move," the Amazon shouted, just barely loud enough for her own ringing ears to hear it. Convulsing her legs beneath her, she launched into the air. Mousse flew off of her head, swooping around her several times as she hopped in place.

"There's a... duck?" Osaka asked, uncertainly, as the scene before the group seemed to have gone completely insane.

"Where did all those chains come from?" Tomo asked.

"That's just Uncle Mousse's hidden weapons," Sakaki said, and then continued, "Oh yeah, and his curse."

"Does everyone have one of these curses and I just don't know about it?" Yukari asked, from where she'd just joined the group. As she looked back at her, Yomi caught a face full of water, it beading over her glasses. "Well, you're clean," the teacher said, going back to get more water.

Meanwhile, Mousse had been swooping through the air, dropping random things out of his feathers. He was apparently looking for something he'd put there a long time ago, and what was falling from the sky now was... odd... to say the least. "Hey, is that my best dust mop?" Ranma yelled, from the place she'd taken up on one of class 3-1's window ledges. When he dropped a duck shaped training potty, she slapped her forehead. "Why do you still have that?" the twelve year old shrieked, incredulous.

The duck just quacked at her, before he seemed to get what he wanted, falling out of the air as one wing was curled around something. He unfurled it, catching himself merely feet in the air, as the thing he'd been holding dropped right onto Shampoo's head. It was a heavy towel, and there was some sort of liquid dripping off of it.

"What you..." Shampoo yelled, before swaying dangerously, finding it harder and harder to keep her balance in her chain cocoon. "Sleeping... potion?" she asked, and then yawned. "Stupid Mousse. Shampoo immune to..." That was about as far as the woman got, as whatever it had been that Mousse had dipped the towel in finally took effect, dropping her to the ground with a solid crash of tinkling chain.

As she walked into the middle of the yard again, Ranma was grinning from ear to ear. "Winner by knock-out, Mousse!" she yelled as loudly as she could manage.

The duck quacked victoriously, swooping around in the sky a few times and even managing an Immelmann turn.

"Okay, now I KNOW that's impossi..." Nyamo started, before Kagura shook her head. "That's it, I think I'm going to be the one who asks Yukari if we should go drinking tonight," the teacher muttered, softly.

END.

Osaka: Wow, that coriography was amazin!

Yomi: Um, I don't think that fight was planned.

Chiyo: I hope Shampoo-san is all right.

Sakaki: She is.

Tomo: Wow, Sakaki's finally recovered from a couple of chapters back!

Yomi: Yeah, and we DID get our marks. Any of you readers want to see them?

Tomo: Don't even think about...

Student English Literature Math History

Tomo -15 55 40 50

Yomi 92 70 84 85

Chiyo 95 90 98 96

Sakaki 94 80 89 95

Kagura 70 65 62 75

Ranma 75 85 90 98

Osaka 40 50 42 68

Tomo: Argh!

Yomi: Don't feel too bad, you did... okay.

Tomo: I failed! I failed! I failed!

Chiyo(Sighs): While Tomo-san recovers, I'll say goodbye. So, Goodbye for now everyone!


	10. Chapter 10: Kaorin Thinks Bad Thoughts

Chapter 10: Kaorin Thinks Bad Thoughts.

The wall, Shampoo decided, wasn't very interesting. She'd been staring at it for the better part of eight hours, resisting the urge to poke it into submission with the mantra that both her great grandmother and Ranma would yell at her for days if she did. "Stupid Mousse, fly off as duck and not take Shampoo," she grumbled, standing and starting to stalk around the cell like a caged wildcat.

"Now now, Shampoo, is that any way to talk about your new husband?" a crackly voice came from the front of the cell, and the purple haired Amazon turned rapidly, her hair swirling around her, to see Cologne sitting on top of her staff at the bars.

"Great grandmother!" the younger woman exclaimed, happily running up to the bars. "You finally here get Shampoo out, yes?"

"Yes, child." Cologne said, and then chuckled. "You know that between you and Mousse, the school required ninety thousand yen in damages to let you go?" she continued, her hand now raised to scold the other.

"Really?" Shampoo asked, blinking. "Furinkan never mind about fights."

Cologne sighed, as a guard walked forward and unlocked the cell door next to her. "Never mind, child, let's just go," she said, gesturing for Shampoo to follow her. As she did so, the purple haired woman couldn't help but feel like she was five years old again, having been caught in the supply hut by her father and awaiting her scolding.

She was surprised, however, when she exited into the public portion of the station and saw that Mousse was sprawled out on a couch there, fast asleep. "What Mousse do here?" she asked, confused.

"The fool's been here since you were first brought in," Cologne explained. "He refused to move."

Shampoo couldn't help but smile at this revelation, walking slowly over to the bench where the master of hidden weapons lay, once again wearing his glasses. Out of curiosity, Shampoo snatched them off of his face and peered through, noting that on the inside, the glass of the thick lenses was hollowed out, and almost completely clear. "Should not have fallen for trick," she grumbled, setting the glasses down on the bench next to Mousse's head.

As she did so, his eyes flickered open, catching hers as she stood back up. "Shampoo, my love!" he yelled, in almost funny imitation of how he'd acted in Nerima, and somehow managed to go from fully horizontal into a diving glomp. The Amazon woman was about to hit him on instinct, when she caught herself. Mousse was her husband now, and she had WANTED this for years.

Leaning forward, she kissed him, looking steadily into his eyes as she did so. "Beloved one," She said, in their native Chinese, when she pulled back. He returned it, and his face was dominated with a big, stupid grin.

Nearby, Cologne smiled. There was still a lot of paperwork to fill out, and some monetary issues to consider, but for now she would leave the two to embrace.

HR.

Several days after the end of midterms and Mousse and Shampoo's giant battle, Ranma sat in the gym's supply room, looking around and tapping her fingers together nervously. It was currently lunch hour, and the first gym class since the midterms was next period. Now, Nyamo had asked to talk with her about what was going on.

This sort of thing always made the redhead uneasy, as she didn't exactly like talking about Jusenkyo at all, or the concessions she'd had to make to live with it, ironically, after it had been totally ripped away from her.

She looked up, taking her eyes from a collection of football nets in the room's corner, as the door opened and Nyamo entered, a serious look on her face. The older woman pulled two chairs from a stack, setting them down across from each other, and gestured for Ranma to take one. "Sorry about the office space," she explained, "but the only other places I had were the teacher's lounge and our classroom."

"It's fine," Ranma replied, sitting in one of the chairs and looking into the older woman's eyes. "I'm guessing you want to know everything?" she asked, slowly.

Nyamo nodded. "It's important," she explained. "I didn't think through all of the implications of what you'd told me originally, and allowed you to keep changing with the other girls for classes." She frowned. "Ranma-san, I don't mean to accuse you of anything, I simply have to look out for my other students. You understand, right?" she asked concerned.

Ranma nodded. "Yeah, I understand," she said, knowing that she would have similar concerns if someone she didn't know, who admitted that she was actually over thirty and sexually interested in the same gender, was allowed to change with Sakaki. Then again, with some of the people she knew, she may not have been inclined to trust them either.

"If it isn't too personal to talk about, I need to know all you can tell me," Nyamo said, simply.

Ranma nodded. "I already told you about Jusenkyo, and the whole training trip thing with my father," she started. "Well, a lot of stuff happened over the next two years that made a few people... unhappy." She snickered at the understatement. "The most important thing to know is that I was engaged to a girl, to join our two schools of the martial arts. We got off on the wrong foot," she winced and rubbed the top of her head, "to say the least, and eventually we both decided to break off the engagement."

Nyamo reminded herself once again that she'd seen at least some evidence of the story that the twelve year old in front of her was telling, still finding it hard to believe, but listening anyways. "Well," Ranma continued, "I was actually promised to marry more than one girl at the time." Nyamo gave her a sharp, incredulous look. "Blame my father," Ranma shot back, "anyhow, Ukyo was the only other one that really had a legitimate case, since I'd struck a sort of deal with Shampoo..." She shook her head. "Ukyo and I LIKED each other, and she thought she loved me, so I figured I'd just swallow my reservations and go through with it, now that I didn't have anything tying me down."

Ranma stopped talking for a moment, recalling precisely how THAT decision had eventually turned out, but then regained her composure and went on. "Anyways, that's kinda off topic. The point of it was that Ukyo and I moved away from Nerima, to this neighborhood, mostly to get away from these crazy guys called the Kunos." Nyamo gave Ranma an inquisitive glance, but the redhead shook her head. "They're really hard to explain. Anyhow, things went fine for the first year and a half, we were hitched after a couple of weeks, and Ukyo got pregnant... maybe a year later."

Nyamo wanted to ask why it had taken such a long time, but that part truly wasn't any of her business. The redhead shuddered before opening her mouth to tell the next part, and Nyamo was half tempted to tell her that it was all right, that she didn't have to hear anymore, but as much as she hated herself for it, her curiosity drove her to keep quiet. "About six months into Ukyo's pregnancy," Ranma started haltingly, "the master of my school of martial arts showed up. Apparently, we hadn't hidden where we were going quite well enough, and he'd tracked us. Later, I found out that it was one of Kasumi's, that's my ex-fiancee's sister, letters that he'd gotten the postage data off of. Anyways, he came, and he was angry that I had left. Apparently, groping my cursed form, and having me chase him across the city was some form of sick entertainment for the old bastard."

As Nyamo watched, she saw the little redhead's fists clench, knuckles turning white as she relived the memory. "First he attacked the house with some bombs, Ukyo was... almost hit by some of the debris, and I snapped. I went after him with vacuum blades, almost decapitated him in one attack," she said, her words now coming out in a dull monotone. "I did manage to cut him pretty bad across the chest, but apparently that pissed him off. He... used something, some sort of... splitting incense, I didn't know where he'd gotten them, but he threw a cloud of it in my face, and the next thing I knew, I was seeing out of two sets of eyes." The redhead shuddered again.

"You can stop, if you want," Nyamo finally said, not wanting to see the girl in such distress, as her common decency finally won out over her curiosity.

Ranma shook her head. "This is kinda important, I'm trying to prove a point," she said, and then continued. "The old man cackled about how I was separated from my girl side, and now he'd take it back with him, and we'd be all even, as if I owed him something. Apparently, he thought the stuff worked differently than it did, and he jumped on one of my selves and started... groping, and squeezing..." She turned slightly green. "That was about when I completely snapped, and started attacking him with the full intent to kill. He'd almost killed Ukyo and Sakaki, and then he'd done THIS to me, and acted like he was doing me a big favor. My attacks pissed him off even more, and because I wasn't used to moving this way, I didn't really stand a chance. He... killed one of me in the fighting."

Nyamo gasped, her hand going to her cheak as she heard that. "It's all right," Ranma reassured, "I'm still alive, as you can see, but because one of my bodies was destroyed the curse pretty much was destroyed along with it."

"So, what happened after that?" the woman asked, in a small voice.

Ranma snorted. "He ran off, so I got all of my old friends together," the little girl said, looking deadly serious. "We hunted the bastard down and killed him."

Nyamo flinched slightly at that proclamation, her chair actually rattling across the floor as her eyes widened. "I..." She started. "Why did you tell me this?"

"To make something clear," Ranma returned. "Someone whose only goals were lust and perversion successfully destroyed my life over fifteen years ago. I'd sooner die than do anything of the kind myself, though," She smirked, "I really wouldn't complain if you got me out of that locker room somehow. I just wanted to make sure you understood that I wasn't a danger to the students."

"Not a danger," Nyamo muttered, before shaking her head. She really wasn't sure how to take what she'd just been told. She had asked to be told everything. She had been. It was really her own fault, for talking to someone who so desperately wanted, or maybe needed, to explain this to someone, but now she was afraid that she'd wake up from nightmares of being split in half the next time she went to bed.

"Curiosity killed the cat," she muttered, and saw Ranma flinch from out of the corner of her eye. "Thank you, Kuonji-san, You can use the teacher's facilities," She finally said, handing the younger girl a key. "And I believe you, that you never did anything inappropriate."

"Thank you," Ranma said, standing and bowing before leaving the room.

HR.

"Hey, it's kinda cute," Tomo said, as she moved her hand around in a box at the front of class 3-1, on Yukari's desk.

"Hey, don't do that, you're hurting the poor thing," Yomi exclaimed, grabbing her friend's wrist.

From where she was standing at the door, having just gone to get her books, Sakaki looked on as the entire population of the class, small as it was during lunch, poked at the contents of the box, Yukari standing at the side and waiting patiently, for once. She didn't ask what was going on, merely walking over to the group, for once thankful of her increased height as she peered right over Tomo's head. What she saw made her gasp, her small blush returning, as she saw a small brown and white kitten rolling around and batting at the straw inside of the box.

"Hey, I think he likes me," Chiyo said, sticking a finger in to be batted at.

"Hey, someone else showed up! what do you think of the kitten?" Yukari asked, standing and walking over to Sakaki.

"He's very cute," Sakaki said, in a low voice.

"Great, then maybe you could take him. None of these other jerks seem to want him," Yukari said, running an eye across the other girls and causing Chiyo to look down in shame.

"I can't," Sakaki said, reluctantly.

"Why not?" Yukari demanded, putting her hands on her hips. "You said you liked him, right?"

"It's my mother, she... really doesn't like cats," Sakaki returned, her head falling as she thought of the real main reason why she'd never gotten one as a pet, even more so than their normal dislike of her.

Yukari just huffed, moving back to the wall, and Sakaki walked back up to the box, reaching out to the kitten inside. "I'm sorry, little guy," She murmured, bringing her hand down to pet it. To the surprise of everyone in the room other than Sakaki herself, who was beginning to face these events with resigned acceptance, the small animal leapt away from her hand, somehow managing to clear the edge of the box and hit the top of the desk running.

"Hey kitty, where're ya goin?" Osaka asked, as the fur ball skittered past her, dropped to the floor, and made a B-line for the door.

"Hey, catch it!" Tomo yelled, charging after the animal, Yomi following closely behind. Sakaki followed the two out, afraid that Tomo could hurt the kitten in her enthusiasm, and was just in time to see the brown and white blur skitter away from several older students who were coming down the hall the other way, and into a room two doors down.

For a moment, she wondered what room that was, until her question was answered by a loud shriek of "CAAAAAT!"

Striding forward purposefully, Sakaki ignored Tomo's shocked expression as she pushed her out of the way of room 4-1's door, entering to see her mother clinging to the ceiling panel above one of the desks. "Could someone grab the kitten and get it out of here?" she asked, looking around the room.

Kagura, the girl she'd met at lunch break two weeks earlier, scooped something up from the floor near her feet and started for the entrance, where Tomo accepted it.

"Wow, what's the matter with her?" The shorter black haired girl asked, pointing at the hanging twelve year old.

"A traumatizing experience with cats when she was younger," Sakaki said, walking over to the desk, and climbing onto its chair. The teacher, Kurosawa-Sensei, was just standing at the front looking unsure at the moment, so Sakaki ignored her as she systematically pried her parent's fingers from the indentations they had made in the drop ceiling. The teacher stepped forward as the smaller girl started to drop, but stopped as she twisted in the air, landing on the desk in a rather feline looking three-legged stance.

"Huh?" Ranma asked, looking around. "The cat's gone?"

"Yes, it's gone," Sakaki returned, in a steady tone.

"Hey, thanks Sakaki-chan, sorry but it really startled me." Ranma said, laughing and scratching the back of her head. "Dunno why the damned things seem to like running at me out of nowhere," she grumbled, and then shook her head.

"Well, that was interesting, but we are supposed to be having a class in five minutes," Nyamo said, unsure of how to react, and really unsure that she should ask for an explanation after the last one she'd gotten.

"Aw, c'mon!" Yukari objected, from where she'd appeared in the door, holding the kitten. Ranma didn't notice, as Sakaki had shoved her way in between the redhead and her teacher as soon as she'd seen this. "It's a free period, after all."

Nyamo's eyebrow twitched. "For your class, maybe. Now would you mind getting out of here?" She asked, with clenched teeth.

"Sure, but I wanted to ask you if you wanted this..." Yukari started, but was struck speechless as Sakaki moved from where she'd been blocking Ranma's view, grabbing her teacher by the arm and bodily steering her away. "Hey, I wanted to ask her..." The older woman started, before the door slammed behind her.

HR.

As Sakaki was making her way back to the school after gym, she noticed that one of the girls from another class was holding out a sweet bun towards a nearby cat. Surprisingly, the cat pounced, grabbing the roll. As it was contentedly eating its new found food, the girl easily pet the cat.

Taken aback, Sakaki thought to herself, "She used bait to catch it." The revelation was readily visible on her face.

"Huh?" the girl asked, looking over to the tall girl. "Is something wrong, Sakaki? You look kind of mad."

Sakaki declined answering, instead making her way to the changing rooms. "I will catch one," she said quietly, earning a few odd looks from her classmates. Changing out of her gym outfit as quickly as she could, she rushed to the cafeteria to get her bait. It was a close call, but she was lucky enough to snag the last sweet bun of the day. Somewhere, a black pig sneezed.

Bun in hand, she made her way outside, intent on finding a cat to lure in, and completely ignoring the fact that her next class was about to begin. It took some doing, but she eventually found a suitable target near the school gates. Bending low, she held out the bun, extending it towards the cat. "I need to be careful so he won't bite me," Sakaki muttered to herself, leaning over a little more.

The cat looked at the tall girl before it, primarily focusing on the food in her hand. Slowly it edged forward, moving ever closer to the sweet bun at a nearly imperceptible rate. Once it was close enough, it sniffed the bun, trying to determine if this was a trick of some sort.

Sakaki watched in anticipation as the cat almost came within her reach. It was just a matter of time before she would feel its silky fur beneath her fingers. It would be exquisite.

The cat leaned forward, about to snatch the yummy morsel the girl was offering. As it opened its mouth to chomp into the delectable pastry, a purple blur passed it, leaving it to sink its teeth into the empty air. Both confused and annoyed, the cat turned and ran off, never looking back.

Turning towards where the blur had been heading, Sakaki saw a purple haired Amazon munching on her roll. "Roll too, too good," Shampoo commented, eating the treat with obvious relish.

"That was supposed to catch a cat," the black haired girl said flatly.

Curling her hand next to her face, Shampoo quipped, "Meow."

HR

"KYAAAAH!" the scream tore through the walls of the classroom as though they were mere rice paper. Such a surprise was it that Nyamo stopped her lesson and everyone stared at the wall behind in shock. Murmurs began, as the students discussed what could have provoked such a high pitched shriek.

"Sakaki!" Ranma exclaimed. Jumping to her feet, she said, in something of a tired tone, "Sorry, Sensei, I'll be right back."

"Wait, what..." Nyamo trailed off as the redhead jumped at the space between two of the windows, bouncing off of that to hit the middle of the ceiling, and finally landing by the door. The whole stunt took only seconds to complete. It was a good thing that Ranma was only twelve, as she had forgotten that she had a skirt on.

"Damn it," Ranma grumbled. "I told her to stop getting kidnapped after the last time." Sliding the door open with a loud thud, she quickly made her way to class 3-1's room.

"Did she say kidnapped?" one of the nearby students asked, sparking a new wave of rumor mongering.

Ranma slammed open the door to Sakaki's class and beheld pandemonium. People were jumping on to the desks to escape whatever was on the floor while Tomo barged around like Taro in a lingerie store, knocking people aside with sweeps of what appeared to be her workbook. Taking a step into the room, the redhead felt something crunch under her foot.

"Aw," Tomo whined, "I wanted to kill it."

"Kill what?" Ranma asked, before looking at the bottom of her shoe. "Oh. It's a cockroach. Joy." Looking at her daughter, she asked, "Is this what made you scream so loudly?"

Sakaki nodded sheepishly, sort of hoping that no one would have noticed that she was the first in the room to scream.

"I knew I should have taken you on more camping trips when you were younger," Ranma muttered, and then looked back down at her still raised foot. "Hey, can I borrow your spatula for a moment?" At the girl's questioning look, she explained, "Unlike my slippers, it'll survive."

"Sure, I guess," Sakaki replied, unslinging the large weapon.

"Thanks, I'll bring it right back." Ranma took the spatula and scraped the insect off her slipper. A brief flash of blue light and a sizzling sound were the only indications of what had happened and the bug was no more. "Thanks, Sakaki-chan," the redhead said, passing the spatula back. Her mission, such as it was, accomplished, she left the room and returned to her own class. As she entered, she said, "Sorry about that, Sensei, false alarm."

HR.

"So, um, who was that, Sakaki-san?" Yomi asked, as the redhead casually left the room.

"Um, it's..." Sakaki said, uncertain of how to respond.

"Yeah, we saw her at your party, and at that fight between the duck guy and the purple haired girl, is she one of your relatives?" Tomo asked, quizzically.

"That's Kuonji-san, Sakaki's mother," Chiyo exclaimed, helpfully, as she saw her friend floundering on what to say.

Tomo burst out laughing. "Yeah, very funny Chiyo-chan," she giggled, but Chiyo looked at her, confused.

"But I'm serious, the ten year old prodigy said.

"Well, Ah believe you," Osaka chipped in.

"Really?" Chiyo asked.

"Yeah, why not? What with all Sakaki did before, 'n that thing with her father actually bein a girl, and that guy with all them ropes and chains and things, seems like it only makes sense, right?"

"Um, now that she mentions it, it sort of does," Yomi said, seeming amazed that she'd admitted that something so stupid could possibly be true.

"Yeah, your life is kind of strange, isn't it Sakaki-san?" Tomo observed, and laughed.

Sakaki only sighed, slumping down in her seat with her face lit red by a blush, though for a much different reason than usual this time. 'Well, at least they don't seem scared,' she thought, trying to look on the bright side.

In the back of the room, one girl blinked. "Wow, even her mother's kind of pretty... but, she's twelve, and... she's not Sakaki."

"Hey, are you all right?" A girl with twin black pigtails asked, as she looked over at Kaorin, who was busily banging her head into the desk, chanting "Bad thoughts be gone" under her breath.

HR.

Nodoka Saotome frowned down at the piece of neatly folded white paper she was holding. She had, in fact, never gotten one of these before, but it was obvious what it was. It was a set of marks from a high school, detailing the academic performance of Ranma Saotome, high school first year.

She hadn't heard from her child in several months, but then, that wasn't particularly unusual over the past decade, ever since Ranma had truly begun living out on her own and raising her own family. Ah, Sakaki-chan, her beautiful grandbaby... Blushing slightly, the auburn haired woman put away her victory fans, and went back to studying the letter in her hands.

This, she decided, required investigation, and when she called the Kuonji house only to get a message that Ranma and Sakaki were at school and Mousse, who she'd never even known lived there, was on honeymoon, she frowned. "Husband?" she asked, sticking her head through the back door of the Saotome family home, where Genma was laying on the ground, having just recently been punched in the face.

"Yes, No-chan?" The bald man asked, flipping casually to his feet.

"I will be going to visit our child tomorrow," The woman announced, and reached down to touch the katana that lay at her waist, before encountering empty fabric there, as she had lost possession of that item years ago.

Genma just grunted, and started walking over to the side of the house. "That's fine," he said, looking away from her. "I've got things to do."

Nodoka frowned darkly for a moment, but then let off a resigned sigh and walked back into the house to prepare for a trip into the city the next day.

END.

Tomo: Yeah, we get to go swimming!

Yomi: But we're competing with class 4-1 for Yukari-Sensei's beer money...

Tomo: And Juice!

Osaka: We ain't gunna get it...

Chiyo: Oh wow, look at Kuonji-san go!

Tomo: Wha... that...

Yomi: Let's give up.

Sakaki: ...

Tomo: No, We shall win for the juice!

Osaka: I don't think so...

Tomo: Shut up!


	11. Chapter 11: Yukari Wins For Once

Chapter 11: Yukari Wins (For Once).

"I'm home," Ranma called, not expecting any response. Sakaki was still at school, studying with her friend Chiyo, and Mousse hadn't been seen very often since he'd finally married Shampoo, the purple haired Amazon herself only showing up once to tell Sakaki where they were both running off to.

Therefore, it was quite a surprise when the little redhead heard someone respond, "Welcome home!" Her face went pale as she recognized the voice, and she gulped. Even Akane had promised that she wouldn't tell Ranma's mother about what had happened, but sure enough, it was her voice that she heard. Reluctantly, the twelve year old slipped off her shoes, putting on her house slippers and walking into the kitchen, where an older auburn haired woman in a kimono was standing expectantly.

The two stood, locking eyes in a stand-off for several moments before Nodoka finally moved. Ranma would have turned to run, but her mother was faster, scooping her up in a crush that she was sure would have broken any normal child's ribs, and squealing "You're so cuuuute!" in a voice that reminded the younger girl of a certain kleptomaniac ice skater.

"Ack, mom, can I get some air?" Ranma wheezed, pushing gently at her mother's encircling arms. Even with Nodoka's current bone crushing glomp, the younger redhead remembered that her mother was pushing sixty, and though healthy, not a martial artist.

"Oh, I'm sorry Ranma-chan, I just couldn't resist," Nodoka Saotome giggled as she set her daughter down, stepping back and looking her over. "How on earth did this happen?"

Ranma sighed. "Long story," she muttered.

"I can make some tea and you can tell me all about it," Nodoka insisted, and Ranma heard the hard edge in her voice that said there would be no argument.

The younger girl sighed, but nodded and began helping her parent with the work around the kitchen, talking all the while. The explanation of the mushrooms and the school was rather easy, but when Nodoka asked about what else had happened since they'd last talked, Ranma became nervous. "Look, it's not important, all right?" the redhead grumbled, as the two sat across from each other in the house's living room.

"Ranma-chan, there are things bothering you, I know," Nodoka stated, giving her that irritating, 'I know what you're thinking' look that all mothers, except for herself, of course, seemed to master when they obtained the status.

"It's not really important," Ranma returned, though her hand did move up to her neck, fingering the spot where no chain hung anymore. Nodoka didn't miss this, and she knew what that bit of jewelery meant as much as anyone else.

"Ranma-chan, where's your ring?" she asked, hoping that the girl had just stopped wearing it when she'd grown younger, for some reason.

"It's not important," the martial artist repeated again, as though it were a mantra, though she did stand and look away in order to hide her face from the other's view. Nodoka frowned darkly at this, and once more cursed the fact that she hadn't brought her sword with her.

"Ukyo has left?" the woman tried, knowing that it was staggeringly unlikely that Ranma would have divorced the Okonomiyaki chef of her own free will, if only due to the loss of her family's honor.

Ranma nodded. "It's fine," she said, quietly. "I've expected it for a few years, now."

The most startling thing to Nodoka was that Ranma was being truthful, at least in the last section of her claim. She had to wonder how shallow their relationship had ended up being, given that even after the ten years of the training trip, and even after Genma had been trying, rather transparently, now that she looked back on it, to avoid her for another two, the suspicion that he wanted to leave her had never entered Nodoka's mind.

She moved around the table to hug Ranma again, but the redhead shrugged her off and stood to walk over to the window. "Sakaki's going to be back in a little while," she said, trying to distract her mother with the ever tempting lure of her grandchild, but that didn't work, not this time.

"Ranma, you know that I can make arrangements," the auburn haired woman started, but when Ranma turned around, she pinned her with the harshest glare she'd been hit with since Ranma had told her that she could 'stick the Seppuku pledge up her ass,' as Ranma wouldn't leave Sakaki like she'd left him. That had been almost fifteen years ago.

"Don't start that again," Ranma snapped, turning back to the window afterward. "No marriage arrangements, no meetings. I'm still going to get cured someday..."

"Those springs could take years, or even decades, to empty out. You told me yourself, and that was six years ago," Nodoka argued, but again, was glared at.

"Just... drop it," Ranma commanded, and she looked far more intimidating than any twelve-year-old had a right to. "Sakaki should be home soon, and we aren't going to be fighting when she is, understand?"

Nodoka sighed, but nodded, picking up the tea things and moving into the kitchen. All she really wanted was for her child to be happy, and she knew that the years of loneliness that she'd endured when Genma was away had left a permanent mark on her. While Ranma had Sakaki, and the two did love each other, the companionship of a spouse was important.

Before, Nodoka had been willing to let Ukyo continue to fill that niche, despite the fact that Ranma was now, and would be for the foreseeable future, a female, but now... She shook her head, recalling the glare that her child had leveled at her. "Ranma-chan," she whispered, but then perked up a bit when she heard the door open, and Sakaki's even call of "I'm home!"

"Welcome home!" she called, in unison with Ranma.

HR.

"Oh, man," Yukari grumbled, looking out the window. "It's a beautiful day, and I'm stuck in here; how unfair is that?" She glared out at the pool for a few more moments before slamming her palm against her desk. "That's it! We're going swimming!"

"Um, Yukari-sensei, what should we do?" the class representative asked, pushing his glasses back up his nose. "Us guys aren't allowed in the pool with the girls."

Yukari waved a hand negligently and replied, "I'm sure you can find some way to amuse yourselves. If not, you can always just run track." Without another word, she made her way to the classroom's door. After one step into the hallway, she turned and gave a little wave. "Tootles."

Masaaki sighed. "All right, anyone got the particle weapons supplement?" he muttered, sourly glaring as the female classmates started for the pool. He wasn't really one for exercise, but it was the principle of the thing.

"Right here!" Midori said, popping out of nowhere in order to hold up a large paperback tome.

"Aren't you supposed to be with the others?" the class president asked, pushing his glasses back up his nose, again, with one hand and arranging a sheaf of papers and a DM's blind with the other.

The brown haired girl just shrugged, pulling a desk over to slide in next to his, along with several of the male students, while others were busily staring out the window.

HR

"Alright, girls," Nyamo called, "I want you to do four laps each. If you need one, feel free to use a kick-board. After you all finish your laps, we'll have a free swim for the rest of the period. Now, go!" After the first wave of students entered the water, she made her way over to Ranma. Bending over, she asked, "So, are you going to use a kick-board? That body's got to be a lot weaker than you're used to."

Ranma just returned Nyamo's question with a blank stare.

The teacher had a sudden flash of memory, specifically of Ranma vaulting over the entirety of her class, and Nyamo realized something rather important about her redheaded student. "Right, you'll be fine. Well, I'm going to watch the rest of the class now."

The class had been enjoying the pool for no more than five minutes when the disruption began. It started slowly, with Yukari showing up in a two piece swimsuit that was most certainly not school appropriate. After her trailed nearly half her class, all attired in their school-issue suits. "Hey, Nyamo! I'm bored. We're swimming with you now!" Yukari called, as she barged into the pool area.

Nyamo rubbed the bridge of her nose tiredly and grumbled, "I told you not to call me that while we're at school." Looking over the assembled girls she asked, "So what's the rest of you're class doing while you're wasting our time?"

With another negligent shrug, Yukari replied, "I'm sure they're keeping themselves occupied. They'll be fine." With a smirk, she concluded, "Now, to the pool!" With a fist upraised, she charged into the water, nearly landing on Ranma.

"Be careful!" Ranma shouted. "You could have hurt someone doing that!"

"You really can't just jump into the pool like that," Nyamo agreed.

"So, Yukari-sensei," Yomi began, walking up to the poolside, "what are we doing out here again?"

Making a show of thinking, the brunette answered, "A race! We can have a race, and, if my class wins, you have to pay for my drinks tonight!"

"I'm not going to bet on something like this! It's totally unprofessional," the gym teacher protested.

"Ha! You're just scared that you'll lose because we've got Sakaki," Yukari boasted. The redhead in question was trying to edge away and get out of the spotlight.

"As if," Nyamo lightly scoffed. "I've got Kagura in my class; she's on the swim team."

"Wha? On the swim team?" Yukari yelled angrily. "No fair! That's cheating!"

"Hey, you're the one who wants the stupid race in the first place," the properly clothed teacher said.

"Fine," Yukari grumbled. "Let's just get this over with."

"Girls, line up! It's time to beat the pants off of class 3-1!" Nyamo called, letting her annoyance get the better of her for the moment. "Order smallest to largest!"

"You heard her, largest to smallest, move!" Yukari barked. "This is for the class' honor!"

As she took her place in the line, Ranma considered the implications of attempting to object to her participation in this farcical aquatic contest... She shook her head. "Talking to Kuno too much lately," she muttered, despite the fact that it had been years since she'd seen the blue blunder. Looking to her side, she saw little Chiyo, shaking like a leaf and clutching a kick-board as though it was a lifeline. "Hey, Chiyo, you okay there?" Ranma asked.

Nodding, the strangely pigtailed girl shakily replied, "Yes, Ranma-san. I'm just not very good at swimming yet."

"Well, you can't be any worse than your aunt," the redhead muttered under her breath. Louder, she said, "This whole thing's stupid. Want to do something fun instead?"

"Like what?" Chiyo asked.

"Just leave the kick-board here and I'll do the rest," the twelve-year-old said with a smirk.

With a sharp nod to gather her nerves, Chiyo stood ready. When the signal was given, the board was tossed to the side and both girls hit the water. Before anyone could say anything about it, Ranma had Chiyo on her back. The younger girl held on by gripping around Ranma's neck and waist while the redhead swam down the pool much like a dolphin. Ranma would have taken another lap, since Chiyo was enjoying it too much, but the next swimmers had jumped over her head before she could manage the turn.

"Thanks Ranma-san," the happy ten-year-old said. "That was fun!"

Other than the two girls swimming directly after them, the entire class was focused on Chiyo and Ranma. In terms of a school pool, very few things are as cute as two adorable little girls pretending to be a dolphin and a rider.

Finally, the class ended, with more people from Yukari's class having made a lap than those from Nyamo's. The race might have gone on, but it was finished when Hinako arrived to berate Yukari for leaving half her class in the room without proper supervision.

"Hey, good job tricking them into wasting their best swimmer," Yukari said, walking up to Chiyo and patting her on the head while the class was drying off.

"But I..." Chiyo said, confused, and not really knowing what to say as her teacher walked off with a thousand yen note clasped in her hand.

HR.

"I hate you," Ranma Kuonji grumbled as she stared into the mirror before her.

"Aww, but Ranma-chan, you look so cute!" her mother's voice came from behind her, raised in girlish glee. "What do you think, Sakaki-chan?"

"Mmhmm," Sakaki said, nodding and blushing.

"Traitor," Ranma returned, throwing a sharp look at her daughter, who had gotten away with a conservative black and grey outfit, while she was stuck in a frilled, white and cream western style dress that went down to her ankles and made her teeth ache just looking at it. "You know this is totally impractical," she said, tugging at one sleeve and looking at it disgustedly.

"We aren't actually buying it, just having a little fun, Ranma-chan," Nodoka reassured. "Now, Sakaki-chan, how about you go and pick out something else?"

"Wait, Sakaki picked this out?" Ranma asked, looking horrified as her daughter wandered off with a bright smile on her face. "Why's she gotta smile like that?" she objected, under her breath, and then continued slightly less sullenly. "So, where do we go next?"

"Let's wait for Sakaki-chan to pick another outfit first," Nodoka said. "And then we can go to the ice-cream shop out on the main street," she finally relented. She knew that Ranma wasn't precisely enjoying this shopping trip, but it was so nice to get out with her child and grandchild. Besides, the younger redhead didn't look like she was suffering... too much.

"So, Ranma-chan, how is school going?" she asked, as the redhead looked dangerously like she was going to start staring into the mirror and sulking again.

Ranma frowned darkly. "Kind of pointless after college," she muttered, "and I really wish I knew who sent you a report card with my old last name on it."

"Oh," Nodoka said, serenely. "According to the envelope, it was a special mailing by your school's principal."

Ranma looked between her mother, and the mirror which was still showing her dolled up like a flower girl, and back to her mother. "Hinako Ninomiya, this is all your fault!" she yelled, her hands clenched into shaking fists within her white gloves.

HR.

In the deep, dark jungles of Nome, Arizona, Ryoga Hibiki got the distinct impression that someone was stealing his shtick.

HR.

"I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored!"

"Tomo, would you stop that?" Yomi sighed, as the hyper-active black haired girl ran around in a circle, incidentally causing a large, bemused looking white dog to follow her with his head.

"Well, it's true." Tomo pouted, stopping, as the white dog gratefully allowed himself to slump to the ground with a chuff of dizzy exertion.

"We've only been waitin for Chiyo for three minutes, it's not like you've been starin at grass growin, now that's borin." Osaka contributed. "Unless there's a bug or somethin, of course."

The other two just stared at the blank eyed girl for a moment, before they heard the sound of the gate cranking itself open, and the intercom next to it crackled to life. "All right, sorry, but I had to say goodbye to father first," Chiyo's voice came through. "You can come in now."

"We probably should have brought a gift, or something." Yomi said, a little awe struck as she saw the huge estate grounds.

"Hey, we brought this dog!" Tomo said, gesturing back at the white animal who was following them. "Let's name him Bill!"

Yomi looked at her best friend incredulously. "I'm pretty sure he's their dog, Tomo."

"How do you know?" Tomo asked.

By this time, a drop of sweat was rolling down Yomi's forehead, and she pointed at the dog's neck, where a set of tags was hanging.

"Oh, good point." Tomo returned. "Maybe we should have brought a melon, or something." Yomi just sighed, as Osaka's eyes ran from one girl to the other, as though she were watching a tennis match.

As they approached the large staircase in front of the house, Chiyo ran out the door, smiling. "Hello everyone," she said, and then bowed. "How are you today?"

"Haya Chiyo!" Tomo said, waving. "We're bored!"

Behind Chiyo, an older woman exited the house. "That'll be five thousand yen," she said, deadpan.

"Mom!" Chiyo said, horrified, especially as she saw Osaka mechanically extract the money from a pocket, handing it to the older woman.

Nabiki Mihama smirked, tousling Osaka's hair and then reaching into her own pocket. Withdrawing another five thousand yen, she handed one bill back to Osaka, and the other to Chiyo. "How about you go to the shopping district with your friends?" She suggested.

"Really?" Chiyo asked, not used to her mother handing her money.

Nabiki nodded. "Your father's been bothering me about giving you an allowance, and now is as good a time as any," she admitted, and then narrowed her eyes. "All of you, do not tell a soul that I did this, understand?" she said, sending an icy glare around all four girls.

"Y... yes, Ma'am," Yomi said, bowing quickly, followed almost instantly by the others.

As they turned to leave the house, Tomo shivered. "Chiyo, your mom's scary," she complained, softly, getting only a nod from the smaller girl.

HR.

"Hmm," Sakaki said, as she examined a rather promising outfit. She was sure that her mother would look absolutely adorable in this one, even if it would get her a few hours of extra training. She blushed for a moment, thinking of the image, and then shook her head. The hardships she sometimes endured for cuteness were intense but, she thought, worth it, even as she noted several small bandages on the hand that was holding the hanger on which the new dress was hanging.

"Hey, isn't that a little small for you?" Sakaki jumped. This wouldn't be worth much notice, except for the fact that she jumped approximately eight feet into the air, flipping mid-flight and landing behind the startled figure who had spoken.

Osaka just blinked at her.

"Oh, um..." Sakaki said, looking down and scuffing her feet on the floor. "I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's all right, Ah shouldn'ta startled you like that," Osaka returned. "Hey guys," she called in a voice that seemed at once faint and carrying, "Sakaki-san's here too."

"Really? Wow, you got bored too huh?" Tomo's voice came from what appeared to be an ambulatory pile of comic books, summer outfits and one large cake that was wobbling towards the two.

"I told you, you're not going to get that stuff!" Yomi's voice came from behind the walking mass of products, and it wavered for a moment. Sakaki reached out to catch the cake out of the air, but everything else landed on the floor with flutterings of paper and cloth.

"Come on, this place is so cool!" Tomo objected.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean you can spend all of Chiyo-chan's allowance," Yomi returned, scowling darkly.

"Hey, she said it was okay, right Chiyo-chan?" Tomo asked, and Sakaki caught a glimpse of the aforementioned girl, who had been trailing behind Yomi and was now panting due to the fact that she was out of breath. "I... guess so," the younger girl said, uncertainly.

"See, no problem!" Tomo said, then turned to Sakaki. "So, why are you here?"

"My grandmother wanted to go shopping," the taller girl explained. "She and my mother are over there," she gestured at a clearing in the large racks of children's clothes all around them, where the others took note of an older, distinguished looking woman standing next to the little redhead from class 4-1 who had killed the roach two weeks earlier.

"Where's your mother?" Yomi asked, blinking in confusion.

"I thought Chiyo told you," Sakaki said.

"Oh, yeah." Tomo said, but looked dubiously at the little redhead in the white party dress. "That still seems too weird, even for you."

Yomi gasped, and swatted Tomo in the back of the head. "Tomo, that was really rude," she growled, angrily.

"And that wasn't?" Tomo returned, rubbing her forehead. "I'll go ask her!"

The other girls were going to say something, but it was too late, as the energy filled girl dashed through the isles of clothes, knocking a few suits off of racks as she went. Sighing in resignation, the others followed. 'At least she forgot about buying all of those things,' Chiyo thought.

"So Akane's taking all of the classes," Ranma was saying to her mother as she heard the sound of rapid footsteps coming toward them. "Hmm?" She asked, turning to face the owner, only to abruptly come face to chest with Tomo.

Looking up at the girl, and rather thankful that she hadn't been built like Hinako-Sensei, or Ranma herself as a teen, Ranma raised an eyebrow and stepped back slightly. "Tomo-san?" she asked, vaguely recalling the other girl's name from what Sakaki had told her on the first day of class.

"Are you really Sakaki-san's mom?" Tomo asked, pointing a finger right in the redhead's face. Ranma raised one hand, grabbing the finger and pulling it off course before answering.

"Yes," she said simply, put off a bit by Tomo's behavior, though also rather used to it given that it was a bit like her own when she was younger, or older, or... She shook her head. physical and chronological age differences were confusing.

"Objection!" Tomo objected, pointing at her again, and impersonating a character out of a video game she'd played recently. "You're way too young!"

Ranma shrugged. "You're saying this to the mother of the kid who shifts form with water, you know." she said, deadpan.

"Uhhh..." Tomo said, but was interrupted as Sakaki stepped forward.

"I found something, grandmother Nodoka." She reported, holding out her hanger.

Nodoka looked at the outfit and smiled. "Yes, that is nice," she said, looking between it and Ranma. "Daughter, try this on," she ordered, handing it to the twelve year old.

"Ack!" Ranma yelped, looking the thing over. It wasn't quite as frilly as the last outfit, and it was black, which she supposed was something, but... "Is this a Lolita dress?" she asked.

"Hmm, I think it is," Yomi contributed, peering over the young girl's shoulder. "It does look nice though, I could never pull one of those off," she sighed wistfully.

"Yeah, she's too tall and her boobs are too big," Tomo chipped in cheerfully. Yomi twitched, violently.

"Mom, this thing..." Ranma started to complain, but as Nodoka looked at her steadily, she sighed. The problem with her mother was that she had to cut any of her ideas off quickly and viciously if she wanted to stop them, and she really didn't have the heart to do so over something this unimportant. "Fine, I'll go," she said, pouting in a way that caused Sakaki's cuteness sensor to about peg and stomping off towards the change rooms.

"So, Sakaki-san, have you gotten anythin here?" Osaka asked, looking around.

"Um, only one set of casual clothes," Sakaki confessed, looking down slightly. "We were a little too busy," she glanced off at where Ranma had departed.

"Yeah," Yomi giggled. "I used to do that with my little cousins all the time."

"I wish my mom would do that with me," Osaka murmured, but no one seemed to hear.

Several minutes later, Ranma stood in front of a mirror, tugging on the bottom of the black and white dress she was wearing and glaring at it.

"That looks wonderful on you, Ranma-chan!" Nodoka said, happily. "It's too bad you don't have your long hair anymore; it would look even better if we untied it."

"Whatever," the redhead grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest. "Are we done playing dress up yet?"

Nodoka sighed. "I suppose so," she said.

Ranma was about to turn and change out of the dress, when Chiyo put a hand on her shoulder. "You look very pretty in that, Kuonji-san. Please don't be sad," the girl said, trying to cheer the obviously upset redhead up.

"Don't worry about it, Chiyo-chan." Ranma returned, but then she noticed something as her eyes strayed past the mirror.

"Um, is your mom supposed ta be cacklin like that?" Osaka asked Sakaki, sounding more curious than worried.

Sakaki just shrugged.

HR.

"Are you sure about this? Chiyo asked uncertainly, as she, Ranma and Sakaki stood in front of the mirror this time, each arrayed in different outfits. Sakaki's had been picked out by Yomi, and was a little skewed towards Sexy where Ranma and Chiyo's, the last two picked out in the expedition before the others had shown up, were pure, insulin shock inducing cute.

"Definitely," Ranma said, nodding decisively. "Nabiki always liked doing this when we were teenagers." She left unsaid the fact that the middle Tendo often did it in order to get actual money, rather than sweets. "Sakaki-chan, you remember what I taught you?"

"Mmhmm," the marginally taller redhead said, checking her outfit for proper fit. "The ice cream vender is doomed." When Ranma saw a shadow of her proud smirk on her daughter's face, she returned it.

"Let's go." She said, and the three girls walked in step towards a kiosk in one corner of the large department store which served various types of food, including the coveted ice cream.

"So, what're they doin again?" Osaka asked, blinking up at Nodoka, who sighed and rubbed her temples.

"They are demonstrating that Ranma is my husband's child," the older woman groaned, but couldn't help but smile a bit as she noticed that Ranma looked to actually be having fun, for once on this trip. "On the plus side," she continued, "it means that we're all probably going to get a lot of food."

"I don't know why they wouldn't let me go with them," Tomo pouted from the sidelines. Next to her, Yomi smirked and started to open her mouth. "Don't answer that!" she barked.

END.

Osaka: !

All: All Glory to the HYPNOSAKA!

Osaka: The HYPNOSAKA commands that you review!

Anyhow, hope you enjoyed this chapter, and Aperture Science takes no responcibility for terminal cuteness exposure that may or may not have been due to this product.

ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOSAKA!


	12. Chapter 12: Yomi is a masochist

Supplementary disclaimer: We also do not own the other thing that is in this chapter but we won't tell you what it is. How's that for legal talk? Additionally, we do not own our muse. We just kidnapped her for a while. That's starting to become a habit... Weebee, put the dog back!

Weebee: Awww...

Chapter 12: Yomi is a masochist.

"I can't believe you got me to buy all of this stuff," Ranma grumbled, as she walked under a massive pile of bags. Sakaki was almost as heavily laden, but since she was significantly taller, she didn't look nearly as odd. "My bank account's crying; I can feel it."

"Aw, Ranma-chan, Sakaki did need a new wardrobe," Nodoka interjected.

"Yeah, and these small size dresses'll fit her great," the redhead returned. "Whenever Ryoga gets back, I'll be back to normal, you know."

"Yes, but that may be a long time from now, and you really should have some proper clothing to wear, young lady." Nodoka said, sternly.

Ranma just sighed. She didn't know why she was still arguing. After all, she'd already bought the stuff, but it was irritating to have her mother treat her like a kid, especially since she'd never been through it the first time. "Well, at least I'm not stuck paying for all that stuff that classmate of yours bought," she muttered, looking over to Sakaki.

The older girl nodded, having seen fit to stay out of the conversation up to this point. "Tomo-san was pretty persistent," she agreed.

"Yeah, I'm kind of surprised that that girl's Nabiki's kid," Ranma shook her head as the three approached their house. As they came closer, they saw that there was a large, black and white panda sitting casually on the front step. "Pop?" Ranma asked, surprised.

"Hey there, Boy," the animal replied, by way of a hastily scribbled sign. "You're truly a little girl now, I see." It then rolled forward and onto its side, pretending to clutch at its heart with one hand, while producing another sign with its other. "Oh, how you shame your father so!"

"Button it, Ol' Man," the redhead said, dumping the bags out on the ground, though doing so very carefully so as not to dirty their contents. "I can still kick your lazy ass."

"You think so, eh?" the panda signed, and its muzzle seemed to twist impossibly into a challenging sneer.

"Yup," Ranma grinned.

Nodoka let off a tired sigh. "Come on, Sakaki-chan, let's get these things inside and let the children play." Sakaki only nodded, scooping her mother's load up on top of her own, and following her grandmother into the house as the sounds of combat could be heard on the street outside.

HR.

"All right, Dad, why are you here?" Ranma asked, as she sat across from her parents, Sakaki next to her, at the dinner table. Her mother had helped cook the meal tonight, so unlike the normal large helpings of plainer dishes, there was a banquet laid out in front of them all.

"I came to get your mother, of course, Boy," Genma rumbled, in his base tone, before his chopsticks flickered across the table to meet Sakaki's in a click of wood. "I can't believe you taught her that," the old man continued, withdrawing his chopsticks again and going to Ranma's plate, the young girl also repelling his attack with ease.

She shrugged. "It may have been annoying, but it was still good speed training. As for you picking up Mom, let me guess, you're out of instant meals?"

"How could you think of that, Boy? I love and miss your mother, and she's been gone for three days!" Genma said, loudly. "Besides, I'd never buy those instant meals, they're a waste of money."

From where she was sitting next to her husband, Nodoka blushed at his compliments, even though she knew that they were an attempt to make himself sound better. After all, she knew that he did mean them, he just liked to pull them out in defense of other things. "Genma, husband," she started, a little worried about what he would think of her next statement. "Since Ranma-chan isn't legally able to take care of Sakaki-chan for a while, I'm going to move in here to help them out."

"Huh?" Genma asked, and abruptly went pale. "But that means I'll have to live with my campfire cooking... I mean, but I'll miss you!"

Ranma shrugged. "News to me, too."

"Well then, I'll stay here with my wife," the older man decided, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Did you forget about your students, or are you going to train them in the middle of Tokyo?" Nodoka asked, looking at her husband oddly.

"Oh, right... them," Genma moaned.

"Hey, don't be so sad, Ol' Man," Ranma said, a wicked grin coming across her face, "you could always go to the Tendo place for meals."

The fat man's face went about as pale as his cursed form's fur, and he shook his head rapidly. "No, that won't be necessary!" he yelped, before standing up. "I... I should probably get home, to prepare the training schedule for this week, that's it!" he said, making his escape before Ranma could phone Akane up to ask her if he could stay at the Dojo.

"That wasn't very nice," Sakaki observed, watching as her grandfather quickly made his way from the building.

"Nope," Ranma smirked, "it wasn't, was it?"

HR.

"Damn it," Ryoga cursed as yet another high caliber bullet whizzed past his face, impacting a metallic bulkhead beside him. "Why does this keep happening to me?"

Turning down a random corridor, and uncaring that he was leaving dents in the flooring as he ran at full speed, the Lost Boy did his best to discover a way out of the death trap that he was currently stuck in. "Every few weeks, I swear..." he grumbled to himself, gulping and slowing to a stop as he saw a fully manned machine gun nest ahead. His eyes flicked around the corridor for a moment, before he saw an open door, which he promptly dove through and slammed shut.

"I hope Ranma realizes what I'm going through for him," he muttered as he felt something bounce off of his shoulder, turning to see someone pointing a small handgun at him. Growling, he stomped up to him, grabbed the weapon and crushed it. "Excuse me, but could you tell me where the exit is?" he asked, trying to be as polite as possible.

The person he was interrogating was no help at all, as he just started babbling something about a 'suppa-man.' Sighing, Ryoga decided that he'd have to resort to the final option. As the door behind him slid open and several well armed men rushed into the room, he used the breaking point on the far wall, starting out of the complex in a straight line.

He paid no attention to the pile of strange looking, rune engraved metallic fragments he passed on the way out, nor the giant saucer shaped aircraft in one of the base's many hangers, though the staff were most vexed when he shattered one of the ships' support pylons on his way past.

As he finally broke through the last wall of metal, ducking one more, halfheartedly aimed M-16 bullet, Ryoga stumbled on the edge of the base's exit hatch, falling forward, face first into a large patch of mushrooms. "Funny, I thought I was in a desert..." he muttered, though as he looked down into the pile of fungus, he blinked. "Are these..." he breathed, reaching out to pick one and examine it. The coloration was unmistakable, and even the scent was the same as last time he'd found them. "I've got them!" he yelled, happily.

Scooping one of the mushrooms up, he shouted again, "I've got them!" Wasting no further time, he dumped several of them into a sealed pocket on his belt, ensuring that most were large enough for Ranma's needs. "Okay, now all I've got to do is get back to Tokyo," he said, standing, and suddenly feeling intensely cold, as the icy winds of the tundra blew across his skin.

"Damn it!"

HR.

As the girls were changing for swimming, Tomo was, for one reason or another, checking out the students around her. Looking over Sakaki, who had yet to switch forms, let alone put her suit on, she made some quick mental calculations. "Oh, man, can you believe it?" she griped. "Even if Sakaki eats twice as much as I do, all of the calories go to her boobs and her height. Mine just go to my stomach. How unfair is that?"

"I don't eat that much, do I?" Sakaki asked self consciously. "I never eat all that much at home," she added, slightly defensively.

"No offense, Sakaki, but I've seen you eat," Yomi said. "You eat as much as Tomo, Osaka, and I combined."

"But I only eat half of what my mother does," the taller girl protested. "That's not really all that much... right?"

"I weighed your bento the other day," Yomi deadpanned. "It weighed one and a half kilos."

Jumping forward, Tomo demanded, "How do you do it? Where does it all go?" Bouncing around the older girl, she began poking her, as though looking for a secret compartment on Sakaki's person. Some of those pokes were of a rather questionable nature. "Come on, tell me! Tell me. Tell me. Come on!"

"Please stop that," Sakaki said politely as she caught one of Tomo's fingers mere centimeters from her breast. "I do a lot of training," she explained. "It burns a lot of energy, so I need to eat a lot." She calmly splashed herself with cold water and began to change in to her swimsuit.

"Sakaki trains? So cool!" Kaorin squealed in fangirlish glee.

"Wow, that sounds great," Tomo exclaimed. "Do you think I could do it?"

"No, not at all," Sakaki replied with very little inflection. "It requires dedication."

"Yeah, you're right," the hyperactive girl agreed. "That sounds a whole lot more like Yomi, doesn't it?

"Training burns a lot of calories, doesn't it?" Yomi mused aloud. "It'd be like a diet, just while making me stronger?"

"I guess that might be one way of putting it," Sakaki replied.

"Ranma trained you, right?" Yomi eagerly asked. "Do you think she could train me?"

"Don't ask Mom," Sakaki said with some concern. "She is rather... harsh when she's not teaching a formal class."

"Then who would you suggest?" the taller girl asked.

After a moment of thought, the redhead said, "Aunt Akane could probably help."

"Alright, girls," Nyamo called. "It's time to head to the pool."

As the girls began to file out of the locker room, Sakaki stopped Yomi for a second. "If you want, I can ask her for you," she offered.

Yomi nodded in thanks, but was stopped from any further response by Nyamo's shout of "Come on, hurry up, girls!"

HR.

As Yomi approached the entrance to the dojo, she heard a loud, rather ominous in her opinion, crashing noise from inside. Looking backwards to the front entrance, where she'd read the note, 'out training,' the brown haired girl gulped nervously, but soldiered on none the less. She knew what Sakaki had said, and thoughts of cutting down her dieting regime danced through her head. Moving forward slowly, she knocked on the paper entrance door. For a moment, nothing happened, then she heard rapid thumping and the door was pulled open.

"Yes?" a rather disheveled blue-black haired woman asked, as she stood there in a white training outfit.

Yomi blinked at her. This had not been what she was expecting when she'd heard about Sakaki's aunt. If they were genetically related, it had to be pretty far down the line, as the woman in front of her, while pretty tall, also seemed almost stocky, athletically muscled but rather plain, even when red faced and covered in sweat. "Um," she said, uncertainly. "Sakaki-san told me that you could help me train in the martial arts."

The older woman's face lit up in a broad smile. "You're one of Sakaki-chan's friends?" she asked, and upon Yomi's nod, she stood back and bowed. "I'm Akane Tendo, Master of the Tendo School of Indiscriminate Grappling. Glad to meet you."

"Indiscriminate Grappling?" Yomi asked, the trepidation audible in her tone.

Akane nodded. "Yes, the school believes that anything can be turned into training, and any competition can be enhanced through the martial arts."

For a moment, Yomi had things run through her mind such as martial arts ice skating, and martial arts tea ceremony, but shook her head to dispel the strange thoughts. "That sounds interesting," she conceded.

"Come on in, and I'll explain more," Akane said, stepping back to let Yomi step into the large room. The brown haired girl looked around it for a few moments, slightly awed by all of the old scrolls and equipment that was lined up along the walls. The walls themselves were also interesting, as it seemed that no two sections were of the same shade of brown and white, or general composition for that matter, forming a mosaic that was rather soothing to look at. The current centerpiece of the room was a large, bent I-beam.

She moved up to the metal, running a hand over it and noting several long dents across its length. "Yeah," Akane said, sounding sheepish. "I haven't been able to break that in half, yet."

"B... break it in half?" Yomi stuttered, looking back at the older woman in surprise.

Akane nodded. "Ranma thinks it's pointless, given I can split reinforced concrete, but he's always favored speed training over strength, the jerk."

"He..." Yomi said, then shook her head. "Um, about teaching martial arts?" she asked, wanting to get back on track.

"Oh, right," Akane said, and then shrugged. "Tell me, why do you want to learn the art?"

"Well, I wanted to be able to lose weight while still eating all of the stuff I like to eat," the girl with the glasses explained, the idea sounding a lot more stupid now that she thought about it more clearly, and then looked away.

Akane studied her for a moment, and frowned. The girl had some fat on her, but not very much, and it would be burned off pretty fast. "You want to lose weight?" she asked, "how much? You only look a few pounds over average."

"A few pounds over?" Yomi asked, her face going pale. "But I've been dieting constantly, how could this happen!"

"Hey, hey, calm down!" Akane said, a little startled by the young girl's outburst. This, of course, was because she'd always been overly-muscular, rather than anything else, and the only girls who hung around with her on a regular basis really didn't care much about their appearance. "It's perfectly natural, besides, you do know that practicing the martial arts long term will probably make you heavier, right?"

"H... heavier? How?" Yomi asked, looking over the instructor again. Akane was lean, well-muscled and didn't show an ounce of fat on her body. She was even, as Osaka would say, very Japanese.

Akane nodded. "Yeah," she said. "You'll burn off any fat you've got in a few weeks, if you train intensely enough, but your body will demand more nutrients, so you'll eat more, and your muscles will become denser."

"Wait, but I'll lose the fat, right?" Yomi interjected.

"...yes..." Akane said, slowly.

For a moment, a fantasy ran through the brown haired girl's head, as she envisioned the ability to scarf down as many cream puffs as she wanted without worry, and even more. To eat like Sakaki, or even better, Ranma, without having to worry about it? "Where do I sign up for your most intense program?" she asked, her eyes flying open from their fantasy dream in time to see Akane moving towards her, looking worried.

"Um, that may not be such a good," Akane tried, but was cut off.

"I'm doing it!" Yomi exclaimed, raising one hand in a victory sign and showing, for just a moment, why she and Tomo hung around each other.

The instructor looked at the posing girl dubiously. "If you're sure..." she said, and then quirked an eyebrow. "You do know the Dojo's rates, right?"

"Oh, right, money..." Yomi said, wondering if her parents would give her some, if they learned that she was bettering herself.

Seeing the expression on the girl's face droop, Akane sighed. "Look, I don't think you realize what you're signing yourself up for, and since you're Sakaki-chan's friend, how about I let you have a week's lessons free?"

"Really?" Yomi asked, excited. "Thank you!"

"Don't thank me yet," Akane muttered, looking at the younger girl dubiously.

HR.

The girls were all gathered around a low table, textbooks and notes scattered over every available flat surface. This included Osaka, who had fallen asleep some time ago. With exams looming, it had been decided that the group would get together and study. As it had been Tomo's idea to go to Chiyo's house, there may have been alternate motives involved. Still, everyone had agreed, except Kagura, who declined to vote on the grounds of being new to the group. Thus, the five girls were centered around the table, asking Chiyo for homework help in turns.

They would also be asking Ranma, but the twelve-year-old had been called out of the room by Nabiki some time ago. As the only remaining student with excellent grades and not considered intimidating, Yomi was press-ganged into service, fielding a number of the questions. Luckily, the number of questions quickly declined once Osaka decided a nap would be a fine idea.

Kagura was asking fewer questions than Tomo had been, before the hyperactive girl had started bouncing around instead of studying, because she was doing problems from the book and only asking for help when she couldn't muscle through on her own. She was planning on having Ranma look them over once she was done, to see if she had gotten the answers right. Having a college graduate as a friend and tutor definitely had its advantages.

"Alright, everyone, I brought some juice and cake," Chiyo called as she pushed open the door to her room with a foot, having left only a few minutes prior. "Feel free to dig in," she said, setting a large platter down in the middle of the table.

"Food is good," Yomi decided, grabbing a large piece of cake and a cup of juice. "Tendo-sensei is really pushing me."

Sakaki took a piece for herself and replied, "I find Aunt Akane's training routines to be a bit much, but, then again, I'm not a martial artist."

"But you said Ranma trained you," Yomi protested. "And we know she's a good fighter!"

"Like when she refereed that fight," Tomo added. "You know, that one with a duck."

"Mom only taught me the essentials," Sakaki insisted. "I never really cared for fighting."

"So, what are the 'essentials?'" Kagura eagerly asked. If she ever decided she wanted to get into any serious cross-training, she needed to know what she could be in for.

Sakaki paused for a moment to think before answering, "Just the basics. You know, how to set up a proper tent, how to roof hop, some basic defense techniques, and flower arranging and tea ceremony when I asked."

Chiyo cocked her head in thought and asked, "What do flower arranging and tea ceremony have to do with martial arts."

Sakaki just smiled enigmatically, and somewhere, some when, a green haired woman's shtick was stolen.

HR.

"All right, Saotome," Nabiki said, looking levelly at the twelve year old before her, as the two sat on opposite sides of the desk in her study, Ranma having brewed tea for the two of them.

"Um, it's Kuonji, remember?" the redhead tried, but Nabiki just shrugged.

"It always has been, and always will be Saotome, Saotome," the former middle Tendo returned, with a smirk. "Now, as cliche as this may sound, what are your intentions towards my daughter?"

"Wha...?" Ranma asked, gaping.

"Well, the Tendo-Saotome engagement is still valid, for however many generations down the line, and you're about the right age," Nabiki returned.

"That isn't even funny," Ranma ground out.

"From over here it is," Nabiki snickered. "No, I didn't mean it like that, Saotome, I wanted to know if you plan on dragging her into the insane train-wreck that is your life."

Ranma's eyebrow twitched. "Gee, thanks for that apt description," she drawled. "Nabiki, I only came over here because Chiyo-chan asked for some help tutoring her friends." Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "Okay, she was too polite to really ask for it, but you get what I mean. I don't want to drag her into anything, but she is Sakaki-chan's friend."

"Right," the brown haired woman replied, looking over the child in front of her and shaking her head. "You do realize, of course, that as long as you're around my daughter, I'm going to take anything that happens to her out of your hide, right?"

"But I wouldn't..." Ranma started.

"I know," Nabiki nodded, and the redhead sighed, getting the message. She was now, apparently, an unpaid bodyguard.

"You coulda just asked rather than starting the old gangster movie routine," the martial artist grumbled. "Yes, I'll protect Chiyo if anything happens, and it's stupid of you to even ask."

Nabiki shrugged. "Maybe, but it's what I do," she responded, before smirking evilly. "Hey, do you mind if I take some pictures?"

Ranma blinked. "Nabiki, I'm twelve," she drawled, irritably.

"No, not for that!" the former Tendo reassured, almost looking offended. "I don't have any of you as a kid to use for reference in my manga."

Ranma frowned darkly. "Oh, that."

"Hey, it's really popular!" Nabiki justified, "I'm making a killing off of it!"

"You revealed Ryoga's curse, round about, in the last issue," the younger girl stated, "and did you have to show that dream sequence? I thought you swore you'd never tell anyone about that."

"I didn't, I drew it!" Nabiki tried to justify, but she looked distinctly guilty.

"Plus, half of your fighting scenes are drawn wrong," Ranma continued, now on a roll. "If even I tried that move Ryu used against Kano in Chapter 3, I think I'd break my spine."

"But I've seen you bent worse than that before," Nabiki objected.

"Yes, when I'd broken my spine!" Ranma shot back.

"Fine," Nabiki pouted. "You technically don't have a leg to stand on, since you'd have to prove all of this stuff really happened in court, but I really don't want to fight that much about it." Rummaging around in her desk, she produced a pad of paper. "I'm guessing, since Akane told me that you're not working at the Dojo anymore, you aren't pulling in any money, right?"

Ranma scowled. "What does this have to do with anything?"

"Look, Saotome, I'm not trying to extort anything from you. Ryu One Half is just a very popular series, and I..." she looked down. "I will pull it if you are really serious about not having it out, but I can also hire you on as a consultant, and you can help me get the fighting scenes right, and maybe recall some of the events I wasn't there for."

Ranma blinked. "Are you offering me a job?" she asked, slowly.

Nabiki nodded. "Now remember, I still have to write everything, and you'd have to promise to be completely honest, on your honor as a martial artist, but at least it would all be told accurately."

"I don't..." Ranma started, so the former Tendo went for her weak spot.

"Come on, even if no one knows it was you, wouldn't you like everyone to know about all of the fights you won?" she asked, going directly for the ego.

"Well, um," the little redhead said, scratching the back of her neck. That was about the time Nabiki knew she had her. Though Ranma's ego had definitely been settled down a few pegs since Nerima, the lack of glorious, life or death fights in the past few years had starved the martial artist of glory. "I guess it won't really hurt," she agreed, but winced as she recalled some of the more embarrassing things that had happened.

"Great!" Nabiki said, with a beatific smile that usually graced Kasumi's face. "Thanks a lot, Ranma."

The martial artist just shrugged. "I know you're going to want to write up a contract for this, or something, so I'd better get back to the kids. Tomo's probably strangling Chiyo for answers by now... or Yomi's strangling Tomo, either way it's not good."

Nabiki shrugged. The others wouldn't do anything that would really hurt her daughter, and she was sort of hoping that Chiyo would eventually snap and start being a little more assertive. "Have fun with your school friends, Ranma-chan," she said, with a shark-like grin.

Ranma just looked back at her dubiously before standing from her chair and heading for the door.

END.

Weebee: I know we needed a muse, but did you have to choose her?

Osaka: What, ah think she's kinda cool.

Jonakhensu: What's the worst that could happen? Heh heh heh.

Agatha: And now, we shall march on the world with our mass produced army of Osmorgified Pancake Powered Chiyo-chan Clanks!

Weebee: You were saying?

Chiyo: Let me down! ... please?

Jonakhensu: Like I said, what's the worst that could happen?


	13. Chapter Three and Ten: Tomo Laughs

Um, that's all for now, everyone. Hopefully we'll update within the next... week... month... year?

Chapter Three and Ten: Tomo Laughs at your Superstition!

Chiyo and Osaka walked down the street, checking out the various businesses to see if any had any positions available for the summer. Neither girl needed the job, per say, but Nabiki felt it would build character and stop Chiyo from being so damn helpful all the time, and Osaka... is Osaka. Unfortunately, it seemed as if all the summer jobs had already been filled by college students and those few high school students that had managed to get hired before the break started.

"This is harder than Ah thought," Osaka mildly complained. "Is there anything left?"

"Don't worry, Osaka-san, I'm sure we'll find something!" the ten-year-old exclaimed, trying to keep her friend's spirits up. Five buildings passed since that encouragement was rendered, but Chiyo eventually pointed at a sign in the window of a Magnetron Hamburger. "Look," she said, "They're looking for people."

"Right," Osaka replied before walking into the restaurant. It took a bit of effort, but they eventually found a manager. "Ah'd like to apply for a job," she said, getting the man's attention.

"I'd like to apply for a job, too," Chiyo chipped in, holding out her student ID.

Looking over the identifications, the manager thought to himself, "Wow, she's in high school? The poor kid must really need the money." Handing back the cards, he said, "Congratulations, you're both hired. Now, I'll have Ami get you your uniforms and show you around. Please wait here for a moment."

"Yay, we got the jobs," Chiyo cried excitedly, bouncing up and down slightly in joy. At least one patron almost choked as the cuteness overwhelmed the immediate area.

"Hiya!" a rather chipper voice said from behind the two girls. "I'm Ami, and I'm here to take care of you. There are a number of things that make Magnetron Berger better than the other fast food restaurants in the area, and our uniforms are just one of them. Now, why don't we get started?" Without further a due, she led them into the back.

As soon as the door closed behind them their guide said, "Alright, that's enough of that cheery crap. First thing to remember is that, no matter what, be 'happy' in front of the customers. Back here and in the Grease Pit you can act however you want, so long as you get your work done and don't bother anyone." Looking down at Chiyo, she continued, "You'll probably be on the register. Personally, I hate playing nice that long, so I tend to be stuck hauling out the patties, but we really can't put you anyplace else."

Opening another door, Ami ushered the two girls inside. "Alright, here are the uniforms, You each get two. Don't get them too dirty, they'll have to last you several months. If you do need a new uniform, its cost will be deducted from your pay. I recommend not doing that."

Chiyo and Osaka stood silent as the girl before them continued with their introduction to the wonderful world of fast food. Chiyo's state was due mostly to shock, having not expected such a candid opinion of the business. On the other hand, Osaka was too busy watching the creases in Ami's uniform move as she talked. The way they merged and broke apart, it was saying so much more than Ami was at the moment.

After waiting a moment for everything she had said to sink in, Ami continued, "Now that I've gone over everything you need to know about working here, let's get your uniforms." After looking Chiyo up and down again, she added, "This might take a while."

HR

"This is the place?" a tall, black haired man with thin rimmed glasses spoke, staring dubiously at the outer wall of the Tendo compound.

"Mmhmm," Yomi nodded, approaching the gate and looking to see if there were any notes on it, before opening it and leading the man, as well as a slightly shorter brown haired woman, down a path towards the house. She heard the sound of conflict from the Dojo, but ignored it as she knocked on the front door.

Only moments later, there was the sound of shuffling feet, and the door opened to reveal a tall, brown haired woman with her hair worn in a ponytail over her shoulder. "Yes?" she asked, politely.

Yomi gulped, embarrassed. "Um, hello... is Akane-Sensei here?" she stammered, unsure of who she was talking to.

The woman smiled brightly. "Oh, you're one of Akane-chan's students?" she asked, stepping back from the door and bowing. "I am Kasumi of the Musk, I'm her older sister. I just recently arrived, but I believe that she's sparring with someone in the dojo."

As she spoke, a set of footsteps approached from behind her, and she turned to reveal a woman with pink and white hair standing next to her, wearing what looked for all the world like thin scale armor and dripping with water. She scowled ferociously. "Yes, she's sparring with Saotome," the shorter, exotic looking woman said, nodding tersely in the direction of the training hall.

Kasumi frowned at her. "Herb-chan, did you say something mean to Ranma again?" she asked, while Yomi and her parents watched on in confusion.

The pink haired woman started to look vaguely sheepish. "Well, I may have said something," she admitted, and at Kasumi's reproving look, lowered her eyes like a scolded child.

Yomi's mother cleared her throat softly, getting the attention of the talking women. "I'm sorry, but we're here to talk to this martial arts sensei that Yomi's met," she said, not trying to be rude, but also not wishing to spend all day standing on the front step.

"Oh, of course, come in," Kasumi said, gesturing to the pink haired woman to move aside slightly. "As I said, I'm Kasumi, and this is my husband, Herb-chan."

"...Husband?" Yomi's father asked, looking at the shorter of the two women dubiously. Herb just scowled back at him, crossing her arms, and silently daring him to say anything more. He refrained.

Kasumi didn't notice this silent conversation, or at least pretended this for politeness's sake. "You said that you want to talk to Akane-chan?" she asked, and started leading the three guests through the house and to the side door to the Dojo. Much to Yomi's confusion, she started dusting and straightening things as she went, only for Herb to tap her on the arm, where-upon she would look startled and stop what she was doing. It was almost like watching Osaka get distracted by something.

The last time this happened, when the ponytailed woman pulled a mop out of nowhere and started to clean the hall floor, Herb sighed. "The dojo is that way," she gestured to a door nearby. "Kasumi-chan hasn't been here in a while, and she apparently really wants to get the mess cleaned up." She then grimaced. "I suppose I should probably help her."

Yomi's parents nodded slowly, and she lead the way towards the dojo, studiously ignoring Herb's mutterings about the dignity of a dragon prince. When she slid the door open, she was surprised to see Akane locked in a steadily escalating war of punches with Ranma, the short redhead blurring almost like a character in a fighting anime in order to avoid the blows.

In the corner, Sakaki sat reading her math book casually and taking the occasional bite from a bowl of ramen. Hearing two gasps in unison, the brown haired girl turned to see her parents' fixed stares, only moving when Ranma occasionally jumped away from her opponent for another assault.

"Hey, that's a little girl!" Yomi's father realized, as the redhead finally slowed down enough to be clearly visible. "What in the world is she doing fighting a child?"

"Well, the girl seems to be holding her own," the older brown haired woman said, though she saw that her husband's eye was twitching. "Sasuke, don't..." she started, but it was too late, as her husband had started marching across the Dojo's floor towards the combat zone.

"Mom, Aunt Akane, watch out!" Sakaki's voice came from the sidelines, as she started to move, charging in as well. This, while well intentioned, proved not to be a good idea as Ranma turned her head at her daughter's voice, taking one of Akane's strongest punches directly to the midsection. The air came rushing out of the small redhead's body in a massive whoosh, and she felt several bones crack as she rocketed backwards, right into the man who had apparently decided to run into the middle of an intense sparring session.

Groaning, she reached back with one arm, pulling the man forward and around to her front through brute strength, and probably leaving a few bruises, before she impacted the wall with a loud crash. Black sparks exploded in front of her eyes for a moment, however she stayed conscious, which was more than could be said for the guy in front of her, who had fainted.

Akane was by her side within seconds, Sakaki only a few seconds slower, though Yomi and her mother seemed paralyzed with shock. "Ranma, are you all right?" Akane asked, concerned. "I didn't have the time to pull the punch, and..."

"Fine, Tomboy," the redhead returned. "I think it only took out one rib, and bruised a few."

Sakaki sighed. "Again?" she asked, a little exasperated, but glad to hear that her mother would be fine.

"How's the idiot?" Ranma asked, looking down at where Mr. Mizuhara lay crumpled on the ground.

"That's not very nice, Ranma," Akane rebuked, but bent down to check on the man, Ranma watching carefully to make sure that she didn't make his condition worse through first aid.

"He ran into the middle of the Dojo during a sparring match," the young girl drawled, wincing and holding her side as she stood. "I'm going to have to borrow some medical supplies."

"All right, get an ice pack for this guy, would you?" Akane called back, as Ranma started out of the room. The redhead was in the middle of nodding when Yomi's mother finally snapped out of her wide eyed shock, her eyes snapping between her husband and the clearly injured young girl. "Yomi, go take care of your father," she said, as the redhead passed the two.

Walking up next to her, she asked, "Are you okay, dear?" knowing that it was a stupid question but also that the girl seemed to want to act tough. She was honestly amazed that the child wasn't on the floor crying, given what had happened to her.

"Yeah, it's nothing to worry about," Ranma replied, brushing the woman's concern off with a healthy dose of annoyance that she'd gotten hit so badly, even if she'd been distracted. Mrs. Mizuhara, however, would not be deterred, and followed her all the way to the house, giving her concerned looks. She probably would have grabbed her and forcefully started examining her injuries, if not for the fact that the way the girl was holding her side indicated something was badly hurt, and she didn't want to injure her any further.

"Does this happen often?" she finally asked, deciding to get some more information about her daughter's new 'hobby,' instead.

"Hmm?" Ranma asked, looking back and up at the older woman. "You mean people getting hurt? It's the Art, it's sort of inevitable."

The older woman frowned darkly. "For a child your age?"

"Huh?" Ranma asked, and then she remembered what she looked like. "Oh, no, I'm... well, it's a little hard to explain, but most students 'my age' are usually trained a lot more softly than what you saw. I was just having a friendly spar with Akane."

"A... friendly spar..." Mrs. Mizuhara said, dubiously, but was interrupted as Ranma finally entered the house, and Kasumi caught sight of her.

"Oh, Hello Ranma-chan," the former Tendo homemaker said, smiling and looking up from where she was just finishing up on the floors.

"Hey Kasumi, figured you were here when I saw the prince of annoyance," Ranma said.

"I heard that, Saotome," Herb said, spitting the last word as an insult, as he stepped into the hallway from the kitchen. "Have you come to apologize for that unprovoked attack?"

"Unprovoked? When you were laughing like a hyena?" Ranma returned, glaring.

Herb sneered, falling into an offensive fighting stance, and Ranma went to do the same, when a twinge of pain from her side stopped her and made her wince. "Let's do this later, all right?" she grumbled, glaring down at her traitorous ribs.

"Oh, Ranma-chan, are you hurt?" Kasumi asked, and even Herb looked marginally concerned.

"Just a glancing hit," the redhead shrugged again, but Kasumi looked at her for a moment, her practiced eye noting her stance and movements.

"Come with me," the ponytailed woman ordered in a businesslike tone, and Ranma knew better than to argue with her, walking deeper into the house.

Yomi's mother just stood at the door for a moment, opening and closing her mouth, until Herb noticed her. "Is something wrong, Miss?' he asked, showing that he could, in fact, be polite... if he had to.

"Wha... how..." the woman asked, having apparently reached her limit for confusion.

Herb sighed. "Let me guess, you want to know what's going on?" upon the woman's nod, he started explaining. Surprisingly, the explanation was quite free of bias, other than a few sliding jabs at Ranma, mostly because Herb had been trained as a diplomat in his youth.

When Ranma and Kasumi returned, the redhead's torso now bound neatly in an ace bandage under her shirt, Herb was just getting to the end of his explanation, and Mrs. Mizuhara was blinking and poking at a now quite female dragon prince's chest.

Herb's eyebrow was twitching violently, and she was holding herself back from vaporizing the other woman through sheer force of will. When Kasumi saw the scene, she giggled, and then spoke. "Herb, what are you doing with that other woman?" she asked, effecting a shocked gasp.

"Gwa?" Herb exclaimed, batting the other's hand away and turning to her wife, the expression on her face causing Ranma to start snickering, ignoring the twinges of pain this caused.

Kasumi continued to pretend to be annoyed with her husband for a moment, before relenting and pulling a tea pot from nowhere.

"You know," Ranma observed, "I've got to force duck boy to teach me that someday."

Kasumi didn't respond, but did serve the tea, and the four had a rather pleasant conversation over it for the next half an hour. By the time they were done, Yomi's mother was talking about exchanging recipes with Kasumi, and Ranma and Herb were over in a corner, trying to beat each other in a game of chess which had dragged itself out into its final, bloody moments. They'd tried to start up a sparring match, but Kasumi had frowned, and that was the end of that idea.

As Ranma was about to bring her bishop in for what she felt confident would be one of the last moves of the game, a knock came on the door, and a rather worn out looking Yomi walked into the room, wearing a training gi. "Hey Mom!" she said, smiling happily.

Her mother frowned, looking over Yomi's clothes. "Let me guess, your father agreed to sign you up for more lessons?"

Yomi just nodded, and gave the victory sign, before falling over in exhaustion. "I'm okay," she muttered, tiredly.

HR.

"So, where are we going?" Tomo asked, as she casually dangled her legs over the edge of a wall, kicking it occasionally.

"You're asking me?" Yomi asked, looking half-dead from the heat where she leaned against the same wall. "I just want to get inside where it's cool, and get something to eat."

"But didn't ya already bring a lunch?" Osaka asked, turning her gaze from the clouds above to look at the brown haired girl inquisitively. Yomi shrugged, saved from having to answer as Osaka's stomach growled. "Oh, I guess Ah'm hungry, too." She admitted. "Starin at all those hamburgers this mornin sure wasn't easy."

"Yeah," Chiyo nodded. "But we don't get paid until the end of the week."

"Don't worry, I think I know where we can go!" Tomo exclaimed, punching the air. "I heard a rumor that Sakaki's working at one of the restaurants around here!"

"Heard a rumor? You mean she told us, right?" Yomi asked, rolling her eyes. "We're not mooching off of Sakaki-san."

"Aw, c'mon, you can't tell me you're not hungry!" Tomo exclaimed. "Think about it, steaming ramen and ice cold tea..."

Yomi's eyes glazed, thinking of escaping the heat. "We really shouldn't..."

"And don't forget about the dumplings!" Tomo continued, twisting the knife.

"Would ya stop that? You're makin my mouth water already..." Osaka complained.

"Then come on!" The chaotic black haired girl yelled, punching her fist upwards again. "Onward, to Sakaki-san's job!" Jumping to her feet, she took several decisive steps forward, and then stopped. "Um... do you know where the 'Neko-Hanten' is?"

HR.

"Two beef bowls, table 3!" This was the first thing the small group of girls heard, as they entered the Neko-Hanten to see Sakaki in the middle of the room, balancing on one foot, holding a bowl of steaming ramen on the soul of the other, and carrying two in each hand. The tall black haired girl didn't miss a beat, flicking one of the bowls in her left hand off onto a table and catching another that was thrown, spinning, through the air from the kitchen door. When the second bowl came, she managed to angle her head so that it landed there without spilling.

All four of the rather quiet girl's friends blinked together, the sound almost audible. "Did she..." Yomi asked, opening and closing her mouth several times in succession.

"That was..." Tomo said, following suit for a moment, before continuing, "so cool!" Apparently, she'd yelled this loudly enough for Sakaki to hear, as the girl dropped two more bowls onto a table and then used her free hand to wave at them.

"Elder, some of my friends are here, can I take my lunch break now?" Sakaki asked, calling back to the kitchen.

"Hmm, I suppose so," a rather irritable sounding voice came from there. "You've got half an hour."

Sakaki nodded, and after distributing the rest of the things she'd been carrying, she hung a frilled, white apron that she'd been wearing up next to the kitchen door and walked over.

"Hello," she said, simply, before looking everyone over, noting that Osaka and Chiyo were still wearing uniforms from a rival fast food shop, and Yomi was eying the surrounding tables' contents hungrily. "Did you come for lunch?"

Tomo nodded rapidly, and Sakaki smiled. "Great, I'll get your orders myself, all right?" she asked, glad to help out her friends.

"Yeah, see, what'd I tell you?" Tomo grinned. "This is going to be great."

Sakaki just shrugged this off, guiding the others to a large table near the kitchen. She was about to ask them for their orders, when Cologne pogoed up to the table, looking around. "So, these are your friends, are they Sakaki-hime?"

All of the other girls' eyes widened, and Sakaki blushed. "Grandmother Cologne, don't call me that!" she yelled, the response much louder than the elder had ever heard her speak before. This, unfortunately, only provoked a grin.

"But Sakaki-hime, you are the daughter of the matriarch, after all." The elder said, giving a toothy smile. "So, what will Sakaki-hime's friends have?"

After all four other girls gave their orders, Chiyo looked up at Sakaki with big, sparkling eyes. "What did she mean about you being a princess?"

"Ur, it's nothing," Sakaki said, though the cute look the little girl was giving her was making it hard to think.

"I dunno, she sounded pretty serious," Tomo said. "So, Sakaki-san's royalty, huh?"

Sakaki sighed, burying her head in her hands on the table and wondering if calling these girls friends was such a good idea. "Mom's just sort of the matriarch of a splinter group of people from a small village in China," she explained. "Even Mom doesn't really take it very seriously, but Grandmother Cologne likes reminding her in order to tease her."

"A small village in China?" Yomi asked, "well, I guess that explains why this is a ramen shop." As she said that, Cologne appeared with a stack of bowls of ramen, one sitting on top of the next, somehow without breaking the surface of the broth.

"Yes," Cologne said, setting the bowls in front of their owners, "and Sakaki-hime, I think you would be surprised to know how seriously your mother takes the tribe, sometimes."

"Hmm?" Sakaki said, but was only answered by a mysterious smile as her friends dug into their food.

Yomi looked up when she was almost finished her ramen to face Sakaki. "Wow, this is really good," she complimented, before taking a long sip of the broth and setting the bowl down with a contented sigh.

"Yes, it was," Chiyo, who had been eating much more slowly than the rest and still had half a bowl, said before scooping another chopstick load of noodles up and putting them in her mouth.

"Sakaki, if you're done, it's time to get back to work!" Cologne called, flicking something across the restaurant which landed on the table. Looking down, the girls noticed that it was their bill, 1,701 yen.

Tomo was about to ask Sakaki to cover it, tactfully as always, but the taller girl had already started towards the kitchen. "Don't worry, I've got this," she said, picking the paper up and standing up.

"Really?" Yomi asked, blinking at her friend. "That's... surprisingly nice of you, but didn't you say you had no money?"

The shorter girl just laughed, starting towards the kitchen.

HR.

"You've got it covered, huh?" Yomi asked, as she dropped an empty ramen bowl on the kitchen counter, ready to receive more. She'd been recruited as a waitress, since Cologne apparently had found out that she was training under Akane, and she was now being forced to carry three bowls at once, with one always on her head. So far, she'd managed to increase her debt to the restaurant from its original 425 yen to a whopping 3,420.

"How was I supposed to know the owner was such an old bat?" Tomo returned, and was promptly shut up by a smack to the back of the head by Cologne's staff. "Hey, that hurt you know!"

"Then be more respectful to your elders, child," Cologne snapped from where she was stirring a pot of broth. "Though, given that the matriarch has yet to learn that lesson in almost twenty years, I hold little hope for you."

Tomo just started grumbling, and Yomi sighed. "At least Osaka and Chiyo don't seem to mind," she comforted.

"Cooking is so fun, Cooking is so fun, now it's time to take a break and see what we have done, yay!" Chiyo sang, as she looked down at the batter she was making for dumplings. "Is this right, Elder?" she asked, holding it up for inspection.

Cologne nodded. "Yes, child, that's right," she replied, and couldn't help but smile herself. She had offered the Mihama girl the option of having her part of the bill put onto Nabiki's tab, but Chiyo had refused and said that she wanted to help her friends.

As for Osaka, the elder wasn't really sure about that girl. She winced as she smelled something else burning from the short dark haired girl's part of the kitchen. "Osaka, turn down the heat!" she called, quickly.

HR.

"Yukari, you really should be doing more with your time," Nyamo said as she pulled her friend out of bed, at the behest of Yukari's mother. "You can't just laze the entire summer away like this," she added. "You can try scheduling your time or something to get more out of your summer."

"What are you," the brunette lazily asked, "a teacher or something?"

"Yes, and so are you," Nyamo replied. "Now get up. I thought we could hang out for a few hours before I have to head to the pool."

"Pool?" Yukari asked. "That sounds like fun. So, which one are we going to?"

"I," the gym teacher began for emphasis, "am going to the school pool to coach the swimming team."

"The school pool, huh?" Yukari thought aloud, stroking her chin. "Free's good! Let's go!"

"I don't need to be there for a few hours, you know," Nyamo interjected, rubbing her temples to relieve some of the tension.

"Then we have time for a drink!" Yukari declared.

Resisting the urge to pound Yukari's head, or her own, into the table, Nyamo sighed. "What are you thinking, Yukari? It's still before noon, and I have to coach the swimming team in just a few hours!"

"Psh," the English teacher scoffed. "They're just swimming. How much coaching do they really need?"

"That's not the point," the responsible one protested. "I still can't drink before going to work at the pool!"

"Fine, be that way," Yukari sulked. "I didn't want to go drinking anyways! So there!"

"Look, let's just go wander around for a bit," Nyamo said placatingly. "We might find something interesting to do."

"And then the pool!" Yukari exclaimed.

"Fine," Nyamo said, giving in under the weight of her frustration. "Then we'll go to the pool, so long as you promise to behave."

"Sure, I'll behave, whatever," the brunette quickly said before throwing on some normal clothes and pulling Nyamo out of her parents' house.

HR

"Is that what you call school appropriate?" Nyamo asked, looking over her underclad friend. "That's even worse than the one you wore last time!"

"What," Yukari asked haughtily, "Is this too stimulating for your boys?" Gesturing down at her bikini, she asked, "What do you think they'd prefer, this or an ordinary school swimsuit?"

"I think it's a matter of personal taste," Nyamo replied. "And what did I say about behaving?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know," the bikini-clad woman said, waving her hand dismissively. As soon as the black haired coach turned around, however, she took out an inflatable pool toy and began blowing it up. Of course, it would have gone faster if she hadn't forgotten her foot pump in the rush to get everything ready without Nyamo noticing.

The practice was well underway when it began. The entire team had done their first set of laps, and they were now gathering around to discuss where they could improve their technique.

"It's a shark!" Yukari called happily, holding up her fully inflated toy. Laughing childishly, she jumped into one of the lanes and began swimming back and forth. This would not have been too much of a disturbance, even with the shark, if swimming was all the interloper was doing. The cackles and splashing, on the other hand, were extremely distracting.

"Kurosawa-sensei," Kagura began, watching her English teacher make a fool of herself, "lane 8 has become its own universe."

"Just ignore her," Nyamo advised. "Just ignore her."

END.

Tomo: First Sakaki and now YOU, Yomi? How could you grab the limelight like that? Traitor!

Yomi: Hey, that's not fair, it's not like I control what they write.

Tomo: I bet you bribed them, didn't you? C'mon, what will you guys take to give me a story?

Agatha: Well, I could always use more minions...

Weebee: Hmm, ... and if you could get me Mr. Tadakichi back...

Jonakhensu: NO!

Tomo/Agatha/Weebee: Aww...


	14. Chapter 14: Kagura is not impressed

Chapter 14: Kagura is not impressed.

The room went silent as one very determined teenaged girl inched her way across the floor, holding a steaming bowl of ramen in hands that she kept from shaking only through raw force of will. It was almost over. Not, of course, that it was really a horrible trial, but it had lasted for two weeks of her four week long vacation, and she wanted to have some fun, damn it.

As she was coming close to the table the bowl was bound for, its patrons even looked hopeful for her. She'd come to this state twice before, with only one bowl to deliver, but those times she'd tried being showy, balancing that bowl on her head, or throwing it onto the table, and though she'd grown good at those tricks, they had somehow managed to fail in those particular instances, and in one case, catastrophically all over an office lady's brand new suit jacket.

"Hey Yomi, what'cha doing?" The voice was sudden, very loud, and coming from directly behind the unfortunate brown haired waitress as she jumped two feet, sending the bowl full of ramen smashing to the ground, and eliciting disappointed "Aww"s from several of the Neko-Hanten's regulars.

Turning slowly, flames seemed to flicker in Yomi's glasses as she glared down at Tomo, causing the smaller girl to back up slightly, even though she had absolutely no idea why. "Tomo..." She said, starting quietly, exhaling to calm herself down. "I'm going to kill you!"

"Yaaah, she's gone nuts!" The black haired girl yelled, turning tail and running as Yomi ripped off her waitress's apron and tossed it at the back of her head.

"Come back here so I can break your neck!" She bellowed, shaking her fist, as her 'best friend' dashed out the front door, quickly followed by the waitress.

"Wow, Yomi-san looked awful upset," Osaka said, from where she, Chiyo and Sakaki were standing next to the front door.

"That was a pretty mean thing Tomo-san did," Chiyo replied, unsure if she was justifying Yomi's rampage or just stating a fact.

"Oh," Sakaki winced. "she just caught her... and it looks like Aunt Akane taught her her pervert bashing sub-school."

"Huh?" Chiyo asked, looking up at the much taller girl curiously.

"Oh," Osaka said, having spotted the two girls down the street. "Ah didn't know arms could bend laike that."

"They can't," Sakaki informed helpfully.

HR.

"Are you all right?" Chiyo asked, as the group of girls walked down the street, on their way to her house for what could possibly be a study session, but was more likely to be a lounging around and talking about nothing session given the summer heat.

Tomo, who was leaning rather heavily on Yomi, moaned piteously. ""I think she broke my ankle," she groaned, as theatrically as she could.

"But I thought grandmother Cologne said she fixed everything?" The youngest member of the group asked, confused.

"She did," Yomi said, caught half way between her embarrassment over her outburst earlier and the fact that Tomo seemed to think she was the Japanese National Piggyback Service. Still, she didn't quite have the bad taste to tell her old school friend to walk by herself.

"Yeah, well she's nuts anyways," Tomo commented. "Keeping you working for two weeks 'cuz you kept breaking things, then giving you a thirty thousand yen paycheck." Yomi smiled for a moment, imagining being able to pay for next week's lessons and a bunch of food without having to bother her parents, when Tomo had to ruin her good mood. "So, do I get any of it?"

"No, why should you?" The brown haired girl asked, irritably.

"Well, there is the matter of danger pay..." Yomi seriously considered dropping her friend on the ground at that moment, but held off, simply rolling her eyes.

"Let's just go," She grumbled, just as the group rounded the corner to Chiyo's house, and Mr. Tadakichi ran up to them, wagging his tail happily.

"Hey wait a minute," Osaka said, frowning for a moment. "If Tomo gets danger pay for makin Yomi drop a plate, does that mean Ah get some every time ah break my chopsticks the wrong way?"

"Huh?" Chiyo asked, turning her head towards the other girl slowly with a completely mystified look on her face.

"Don't worry about it," Sakaki said, taking some time from petting Mr. Tadakichi to pat the younger girl on the shoulder.

"What? It's an important question," Osaka said, about as agitated as she ever got. "What happens ta all those chopsticks?" The others just shrugged as they walked through Chiyo's front gate and onto the property.

HR.

"I'm home," Sakaki announced, letting the bag full of books she'd brought fall onto a hall table for her to take upstairs later.

"Welcome home," Ranma called, followed immediately by "Did you buy any?"

"No," Sakaki replied, and her mother poked her head around the door frame from the living room, greeting her with a wave. "Did you get the book I asked for?"

The tall black haired girl nodded, turning to her bag and retrieving a pet care manual on pigs before handing it to the shorter redhead. "Are you sure this isn't going a little far?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I've been torturing Ryoga for twenty years, and it ain't going to stop now," Ranma returned, flipping through the book and nodding in approval. She would make a comment about the Anything Goes School and psychological warfare, but Sakaki probably wouldn't be interested. "Did anything interesting happen at the library?"

The black haired girl nodded. "Chiyo-chan invited me to the beach."

"To that place Nabiki's got?" The shorter redhead asked, moving back into the living room, where her daughter could see a large collection of what looked like books on family and child law.

"That sounds like it should be fun, Sakaki-chan," Nodoka said, from where she was sitting in the corner, reading one of the pile of books rather curiously, and wondering for a moment exactly how many of the laws within the volume her husband had broken.

"So who's going?" Ranma asked, curiously. "Not just you and Chiyo, that'd be kinda boring, wouldn't it?"

Sakaki contemplated denying that a trip like that could possibly be boring, for a moment entertaining the daydream of her, in cursed form, and Chiyo, on the beach and building sand castles, before shaking her head. "Our other friends are coming too."

"Nabiki's place is way out on the opposite coast though, isn't it?" Ranma asked. "How're you gunna get there?"

Sakaki thought for a moment, before her eyes widened and she smiled. "Mom, can I borrow the car?" She asked, looking hopeful and inadvertently causing Nodoka to have a bit of a mental gear slip as she processed the absurdity of the question's asker and its receiver.

HR.

"Okay," Tomo said, looking around. "You asked Sakaki-san to come at the library, and I guess her mom coming's okay, if kinda weird, but who're they?"

Turning, Chiyo looked at the people Tomo was referring to, only to see a girl about the black haired girl's age wearing a white shirt and a pair of bicycle shorts, along with an older, well-muscled blue-black haired woman with a backpack. "Oh, that's Aunt Akane," she said, looking at the older woman oddly, though being polite enough not to say 'and I have no idea why she's here.'

Akane fortunately answered the question for her. "Sakaki needs an adult to go with her while she practices driving, and Ranma doesn't quite look the part."

"Yeah, laugh it up," the little redhead next to her grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Hi," the girl next to Akane said, smiling broadly. "I'm Kagura, I'm from class 4-1, nice to meet you!"

"Nice to meet you," Chiyo said, cheerfully, bowing to the new girl and then turning to Tomo. "There, now we know everyone."

"Right," the black haired girl said, nodding decisively.

"Should we be grateful they haven't noticed us, or offended?" Nyamo asked, from the outer edge of the group of girls.

"Offended," Yukari said, nodding assuredly. "Definitely offended. We volunteer to provide transportation for the little brats and they IGNORE US!" The last two words were yelled, causing every eye in the area to turn towards the English teacher. "How about a 'Thank you for providing transportation, Tanizaki-sensei!' how about that, huh?"

"What am I, chopped liver?" Nyamo muttered, apparently too quietly for her friend to hear.

"Oh, of course we're grateful, Yukari-sensei!" Chiyo said, quickly. "We were just excited to be going, that's all, please don't think we're rude!"

"I wouldn't be thankful yet..." Apparently this comment wasn't nearly as quiet as Nyamo's last one, as Yukari immediately turned towards her, giving her the evil eye.

HR.

"You've got to be kidding me," Ranma muttered as she looked over Yukari's car. She had thought that Akane's vehicle was one of the most dinged up she'd ever seen, but had evidently been wrong, as this one practically oozed blunt trauma from the smashed front headlight to the license plate that looked almost as though it had had a bullet put through it.

Next to it stood Yukari, who seemed to be proud of it, as she patted it on the roof affectionately, like one would do with an old horse... one who you were about to send off to the glue factory. "All right, who's coming with me? My car's much more expensive than Nyamo's, by the way!" She exclaimed, loudly.

As a few of the students, most notably Tomo, who seemed to take the battle scarred nature of the vehicle as an invitation, gathered around, Ranma grabbed Chiyo by the arm. "I don't think you should take this one," she said, gently.

"Huh?" The younger girl asked, looking over at the redhead in confusion.

"Just trust me on this, your mom'd kill me if I let you ride in this car; take my seat over with Sakaki," Ranma said, pointing over to a car that looked rather similar to Yukari's, though with significantly fewer dents.

"Okay," Chiyo said, skipping off towards the other vehicle, where Sakaki was belting herself in behind the driver's seat in what looked like a five point racing harness, next to the older blue-black haired woman, who was handing her the keys.

Several minutes later, when everyone had been buckled in and squared away, the three cars rolled out of the Mihama house's front lot, each in their own way. Sakaki's car, containing Akane, Kagura and Chiyo, rolled out rather slowly, the driver being careful not to hit a gate post on the way out, while Nyamo's, containing Tomo and Yomi left more smoothly and quickly, if one discounted the bickering in the back seat. Yukari's car, however, containing Ranma and Osaka, seemed to rocket around the yard in reverse at least once before it made it out, taking several bricks with it.

HR.

As the three cars arrived at Chiyo's beach house, the passengers of two of them had had a rather uneventful ride, though Nyamo was making internal vows never to let Yomi and Tomo sit together in her car again. The third vehicle, however, which had had its engine die and sort of coasted most of the way down the house's driveway, was home to two rather traumatized passengers.

Osaka was just staring off into space, making the occasional hiccuping noise, while Ranma sat, her eyes closed, and muttering something quietly and rapidly under her breath. Once she'd managed to pry her fingers off of the door handle and had guided Osaka out of the seat, the others, who had all gathered in front of the cars, could hear what she was saying.

"It wasn't as bad as Akane's, we didn't go off a cliff, we didn't hit a restaurant, it wasn't as bad as Akane's, oh Kami how can you make a car do that, at least we didn't climb a tr..."

Ranma was unable to articulate more of what this car ride was not, as it was at about this time that Akane, who was glowing by this point, yelled "Ranma, you idiot!" And booted the redhead in the back, hard. Several seconds later, a loud splash was heard.

"But..." Chiyo said, caught half way between horror and confusion, "The water's over a hundred and fifty meters away..."

Next to the youngest Tendo daughter, Sakaki winced, while her student gulped and actually tried to edge her way behind Tomo.

"Um, whoops?" Akane said, wincing.

"Should we go and help her?" Chiyo asked, worriedly.

"Mom should be fine," Sakaki said, as she shaded her eyes and looked towards the shore, where she saw a small red and black dot slogging its way up the beach.

Nyamo was contemplating voicing some opinion on the possibility of someone of Ranma's size flying that far from a kick, landing in one piece afterward, and then being able to walk back, but as she recalled what she'd witnessed in the past few months, she just shut her mouth and decided against it.

Just as Nyamo had made that landmark decision, Osaka's voice rang through the group. "Yukari-sensei, watch out for that pig!"

HR.

Ranma was slowly but surely relaxing, as her hand reluctantly reformed from the claw shape it had used while latched onto Yukari's door for deer life, as she lay back on the beach, enjoying the hot sun as it beat down on her back.

Nearby, Yomi was doing some warm up exercises with Akane, while Tomo yelled something about baseball bats, but she really couldn't care less, as she decided to take a page from Sakaki and Osaka's book, where the two were relaxing a short distance away.

The problem with this plan was that Ranma Kuonji was very rarely allowed to rest, as was demonstrated when Chiyo sat down next to her, holding a first aid kit. She decided, just this once, to ignore the little girl and hope that she went away.

"Um, excuse me, Kuonji-san?" Chiyo started, poking Ranma, who was quite adept at pretending to be asleep, as it was one of her father's favorite techniques. "Kuonji-san? Are you all right? I was wondering because you got kicked pretty hard, and..."

By this point, Ranma's pretense had, as it often did with Genma, turned to reality, and she was asleep, though concealing it well due to the fact that not doing so tended to get things thrown at your head, be they erasers or large rocks.

"Kuonji-san?" The little girl sounded very nervous now, and immediately stood. "There's something wrong with Kuonji-san!"

"Huh?" Tomo asked, from where she was digging a trench through to the water. Turning, she saw Chiyo standing over Ranma, and curiously moved to join her. "What's wrong?"

"She's not moving or responding," Chiyo replied. "I think maybe she got hit a little too hard."

"Oh, you think she's dead?" the black haired girl asked, curiously, crouching down and resting a hand in front of the redhead's nose.

"DEAD?" Chiyo yelped, horrified.

"Yeah," Tomo replied. "I bet she's dead."

"Wh... what do we do?" the pigtailed girl asked, fearfully. "Can we help her?"

"Nope," Tomo said, trying to hide a small grin. "We're gunna have to bury her."

"B...bury her?" Chiyo squeaked, shocked.

"Yup, now what're you waiting for, aren't you gunna help me?" The taller girl asked, irritably. "We gotta bury her so she'll be preserved."

"But I..." Chiyo started, before Tomo cut her off by kneeling down, beginning to scoop out a hole. Chiyo sighed, beginning to help.

HR.

Kagura raised her arms over her head, stretching as she walked across the beach, having enjoyed a quick swim in the ocean, as the waves certainly made it a lot more interesting than the pool in school... unless Yukari-sensei had her shark in lane 8. Shaking her head to rid herself of that incredibly stupid memory, she saw Sakaki and Osaka sitting under an umbrella near where the sand gave way to grass and headed towards them.

"Hey, what're you two doing?" She asked, taking a seat next to Sakaki.

"Talkin 'bout 'roids," Osaka replied, calmly.

"No we weren't!" Sakaki said, a lot more loudly than she normally spoke.

"Roids?" The tanned girl asked, blinking at Osaka in confusion.

"Y'know, those..." The Osakan started, before Sakaki cleared her throat loudly.

"What have you been doing, Kagura-san?" She asked, quickly, throwing Osaka a glance that was half way between apologetic and disbelieving.

"Oh, just took a swim along the beach," the swimmer said, with a shrug, not seeming to notice the rapid and rather brutal subject change Sakaki had just pulled. "Hey wait, you're supposed to be the best athlete in your class, right?"

The tall girl didn't really respond to this, just shrugging and looking away down the beach, where Tomo and Chiyo were digging a hole, for some reason, but Osaka had no such restraints. "Yeah, she's real good, way faster than Ah am at swimin, that's for sure."

"Well, we didn't have time to race during that contest a while back, how about we try now?" The tanned girl offered, smiling at Sakaki in a friendly fashion.

"Sure, that'd be cool," Osaka replied, grinning.

"I don't think she was asking you..." Sakaki said, softly, but apparently wasn't heard, as Kagura grinned widely and dashed off towards the shore line. "Could I at least get changed first?" Sakaki asked, before sighing and heading for the cars for a swimsuit that would fit her cursed form.

HR.

Ranma awoke to the muffled sound of Tomo yelling something, as Chiyo could be heard nearby, whimpering. When she tried to open her eyes, the youthened Kuonji got an eyeful of sand for her trouble, and winced, before shaking her head violently. That proved to be a mistake, as it closed the small hole that had been protecting her mouth from the sand, and she swallowed a decent amount of it before shooting up to a sitting position, and incidentally hitting Tomo in the back with a tidal wave of displaced sand.

"Ah, a zombie?" She heard Chiyo's voice yell from one side, and turned her head slowly to see the younger girl frozen in fear and looking up at her.

"Excuse me?" She asked, a little too confused to show any other emotion at the moment.

"Oh," Chiyo returned, "You're not a zombie?" She asked this because, though her mother had warned her of many supernatural weirdnesses that came with being her father's child, she'd distinctly told her that Zombies usually didn't talk. "You're not a vampire, are you?"

"Chiyo, what's goin on here?" Ranma asked, sighing in exasperation.

Just as the pigtailed girl began to launch into a complex explanation involving Tomo, curses, dead bodies and blunt force trauma, the slightly taller redhead was distracted as she heard Akane's voice from nearby. "Come on Yomi, go, go, go!" Looking over, she saw the youngest Tendo pumping her fist and looking out into the water, where several people were splashing towards the beach at a pretty good speed.

"Don't worry about it, it probably wasn't important," Ranma told Chiyo, before standing, brushing the rest of the sand off of her legs, and incidentally covering Tomo, who had just finished shaking it out of her bathing suit, as she walked over to stand next to her friend. "What's happening here?" She asked, curiously.

"Apparently, Kagura-san challenged Sakaki to a race, and it sort of grew," Akane contributed.

"She's not losing, is she?" Ranma asked, frowning worriedly.

The blue-black haired woman chuckled, pointing at one of the figures splashing to the shore, and to Ranma's dismay, the one in second place. "Kagura's beating her, looks like you deciding never to give her proper swimming lessons was a bad idea."

Ranma was about to retort to that, when one of the lines in the water denoting a swimmer abruptly disappeared. "Who was that?" She asked, worriedly.

"One of the teachers, I think," Akane replied, worried as well. "She's... not coming up."

"And no one's noticed her 'cuz they've all passed her," Ranma cursed. Akane was half way down the beach before an iron grip grabbed her by the wrist, and she turned back, annoyed, to see Ranma with her feet dug into the sand, ruts leading about five feet behind her.

"Ranma?" The Tendo woman hissed.

"You can't swim, remember?" The redhead asked, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, um..." Akane said, resisting the urge to blush in embarrassment only because someone was in trouble. "Just go!" She yelled, grabbing Ranma with both hands and throwing her out past the swimmers.

"She coulda asked," The little redhead muttered, expertly maneuvering herself in the air to slice into the water and dive down after the teacher, while all of the other racers stopped in the water, trying to figure out what the projectile that had just raced past them was.

HR.

Yukari was having a great dream. She was on a date with a handsome guy, and Nyamo was over in a corner cleaning the floors. On top of that, it was all you can eat Takoyaki, and he was picking up the tab.

"Ah, Nanashi, this as a wonderful evening," She said, scooping up another helping of octopus balls. As she did so, her stomach contracted strangely, but she dismissed it as a sign of over-eating, and she'd never listened to her body when it said it'd had too much before, and certainly wasn't going to start now.

"Anything for you, Yukari-chan," The handsome man in front of her smiled widely. "I only want to make you happy."

"Yep, that's right," The brown haired woman said, relaxing in her chair, as Nanashi leaned over the table to kiss her. "Well, I guess I've gotta give him something," She decided, leaning forward and kissing Nanashi, while bringing her arms around his shoulders.

"Oh, Nanashi," she whispered, right as Nyamo's voice cut in on her wonderful time.

"Yukari, let her go!" The gym teacher yelled, smacking her on the back of the head. Abruptly, the English teacher's dream vanished, and she could feel sand on her back, a rather sore stomach, and a small weight on her chest.

"Let her go!" Nyamo yelled again, and Yukari realized that she was still holding Nanashi. Opening her eyes, she looked into a set of startled brown ones. "Gah!" She yelped, rolling away from the weight on her chest until she could see a rather embarrassed and irritated looking Kagura laying on the sand.

"Now I know why Ranma refused to do it," the tanned girl muttered, sitting up. "Did you have to use tongue?"

At the moment, Nyamo really, really wanted to make some snide joke about Yukari, dating issues, and a similarity to Kimura, but as she saw her best friend's face turning steadily redder, she reluctantly decided that inducing a heart attack would be a bad idea, and went for the more solicitous route. "Are you all right, Yukari?"

"I... wha... what happened?" The English teacher demanded, looking around to see that the rest of the students, along with Ranma and Akane, were standing around and looking at her with mixtures of worry and other emotions on their faces that she couldn't quite figure out in some cases.

"You almost drowned," Ranma reported. "From what it looked like when I got you, your leg cramped up or something."

"Oh," Yukari groaned. "Why didn't you just let me drown?"

HR.

"Scary stories!" This exclamation came in the middle of a beach house full of people who were fully ready to spend at least a few hours laying around, until it got dark enough out to play around with the sparklers that Nyamo had brought.

"Hmm?" Yomi asked, looking over to the originator of the exclamation, Osaka, from where she was leaning against one corner of the kotatsu, reading a math book.

"It's a summer night, we should tell some scary stories," the Osakan clarified.

"I don't know, what kind of scary stories?" Tomo asked, sitting up from where she'd been sprawled across the floor. "Like ghost stories or something?"

"Hmm..." Osaka and Yomi both seemed to consider this, while Sakaki, seemingly unnoticed, began to slink off towards the stares.

"Wait a sec," Tomo interrupted the other two's consideration. "Why bother with scary stories? We can tell scandalously dirty ones instead!" Sakaki slowly made her way back to the group.

"Um, Tomo, we haven't even had any dates," Yomi said, bringing her friend back down to earth for a moment, but only for a moment, as Tomo smiled.

"Then we ask the teachers, they should know!" She exclaimed, excitedly.

"We should know what?" Nyamo asked, as Yukari lay on the couch, pretending that she was far too sick from her earlier accident to do anything else.

"Do you have any dirty stories to tell, Kurosawa-sensei?" Osaka asked, and all three girls, plus a suddenly returned and far too interested looking Sakaki, leaned towards her with expectant looks on their faces.

"Uh... me?" The gym teacher asked, looking between the curious faces. Looking around for help, she saw that Yukari was busily hiding her head under a pillow. Seeing Akane and Ranma chatting about something across the room, she considered foisting the students' attention off on the other woman, but was saved just in time, as Chiyo spoke up.

"I have a dirty story!" She said, generating several shocked gasps and one "What?" from the others.

"That's not fair, you're ten, and I'm fifteen, it's not fair I tell you!" Tomo yelled, getting into the younger girl's face.

"Don't get so excited Tomo, let's have her tell this story first." Yomi said, and Tomo reluctantly sat back to listen. Behind her, Ranma stood up and walked closer, wincing and wondering precisely how ballistic Nabiki would go when she found out about this. Thankfully, it wasn't her fault.

"Well," Chiyo started, noting that she had a captive audience, and feeling rather nervous. "It all started in a beach house, just like this one."

"Hmm?" This was Sakaki, leaning forward so that her face was right next to Tomo's, before realizing what she was doing and pulling back, blushing slightly.

"Yeah, it was just like this one," Chiyo continued, "But it was full of garbage! And in the garbage, there were a whole bunch of really... big... cockroaches!"

The room went dead silent for a moment, before Tomo yelled "What? That wasn't a dirty story!"

"Well, it kinda was," Osaka chipped in. "It was a story about dirt, so it was a dirty story."

"That's not what I..." Tomo said, slumping to the ground and sighing in defeat.

HR.

"You know, conciderin she almost died today, she's doin pretty good," Osaka opined, as she and Chiyo sat, waggling sparklers as the bored Osaken contemplated trying to reenact one of the battles from Star Wars.

"Hmm?" The younger girl asked, looking up from where her sparkler's sparks were hitting the ground for a moment, until she saw Yukari dancing around nearby with a sparkler in each hand. "Well, I guess it's good to have fun in order to try and forget about scary things," she offered.

"I dunno," Osaka replied, as the teacher pulled a roman candle off of a pile she'd gotten out of her car's trunck, not without some shocked exclamations from Ranma and Nyamo, and set it up in front of them. "Think we should dive for cover?"

"Mmhmm," Chiyo quickly agreed, stabbing her sparkler into the ground to extinguish it as Yukari produced a lighter and began to giggle manically. As the firework went off, streaking light into the air, the two students decided that they should find a new place to play with sparklers, preferably away from the crazy woman with the explosives.

Nearby, on the front step of the summer house, Ranma smirked as she lay back, watching as most of the others goofed around in the clean summer air. "Kinda reminds you of our vacations, huh?" She asked, casually.

"Right down to someone needing to be rescued," Akane quipped back.

"Hey, at least it wasn't a kidnapping," Ranma justified.

"I wasn't complaining," Akane smiled. "It brought back some memories, and a trip to the beach is never a bad time."

Ranma nodded. "Even if you can't swim," she quipped, immediately getting a rib to the side. "Okay, okay, I'm shutting up."

END.

Nyamo: Your mystery man was named Nanashi?

Yukari: What, what's wrong with that name?

Osaka: Well, it ain't all that original, is it?

Yukari: Not original... why you...

Chiyo: Um, aren't we supposed to be telling everyone about what's going to happen next time?

Yomi: Have we ever done that?

Tomo: Well, sometimes... Anyways, that's not important! Don't forget to leave a review, and watch... I mean read next time on JonaBee fanfic!

Osaka: Hey, Ah wanted ta say that...


End file.
